Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 146

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   carolmaccas66
    Oh here's a great one I just remembered
    Was working in a small country hospital as a RN with an EN under me. He was being abused because a patient had been fasted overnight and was waiting to be called down to the OT (operating theatre) for a cholecystectomy (apparently the night staff had had a big battle just to get her to fast and shooed all her family members home who were bringing in food, drinks, etc). Demanded to go out for a smoke. My EN said no as ur going to the OT soon, explained all the risks, etc. The woman/girl acted like a spoiled brat as mummy was hovering over her, was asthmatic, probably diabetic and extremely rude. I walked over and listened to my poor EN getting yelled at and put down, and explained why smoking before an op is a big risk, smoking diminishes lung capacity with anaesthesia, etc. I said we legally have to explain this to you. She shot back 'Yeh? Well he's legally explained it to me about 4 times already!' Well I can only stay polite so long. I shot back: 'Well why don't people like you LISTEN to what we tell you and start being responsible for your own health?!'
    I also told her if she chose to go outside, we were not going down there chasing around after her if she was called for OT (some of the nurses used to actually do this, more fool them). I would not let my EN go down & look for her or anyone else. I told her roundly her decisions are hers, but being upset with the OT's rules didn't give her the right to abuse my EN - 'You talk to ME, the RN if you have any problems'. I also told her why did she bother coming to the hospital for the operation, if she knew she'd have to fast, couldn't smoke b4 hand and would have to wait to get done? She continued to go on about it in a loud voice, but she actually stayed and went down for her surgery.
    The nurses are just mean, mean people, we are to blame for everything, even the fact that you've smoked most of your life, can't breathe, don't listen to advice and blame the world for things you can change - but are too lazy to do so.
    BLAH!
    Last edit by carolmaccas66 on Jan 11, '11
  2. by   steelydanfan
    Quote from carolmaccas66
    I would LOVE to be able to say:
    My crytstal ball and magic wand are broken today, otherwise I could do all, answer every question you have ever, and cure you all of your illnesses!
    And that would include the timeless question, say it all together now.."When will the doctor be in"?


    Truely, the one I would personally like to ask is: "So since you told the ER doctor you haven't used illegal drugs since 2007,and your intake med recon shows you use only nifedipime and glucotrol; WHY
    does your tox screen show positive for EVERYTHING?

    Actually, I eventually do ask, but would'nt be nice to be able to confront these people straight up?
  3. by   UpinawayRN
    NO, your not going to stroke out because you missed your dose of chondroitin, vitamin C, licorice root and rose hips this afternoon! And, I can treat your blood pressure if the lack of these should cause it to skyrocket.
  4. by   danielleradaza
    you're medications have timings you know! so dont f****** tell to come back later because by then i will be more or less busy with another patient!

    WE WORK ON SCHEDULES HERE DUH!
  5. by   danielleradaza
    this a HOSPITAL and not a SPA!

    BACKOFF!
  6. by   carolmaccas66
    Quote from steelydanfan
    And that would include the timeless question, say it all together now.."When will the doctor be in"?

    Truely, the one I would personally like to ask is: "So since you told the ER doctor you haven't used illegal drugs since 2007,and your intake med recon shows you use only nifedipime and glucotrol; WHY
    does your tox screen show positive for EVERYTHING?

    Actually, I eventually do ask, but would'nt be nice to be able to confront these people straight up?
    I know what u mean steelydanfan! I work in mental health and they're like 'your bloods/breath test came back positive for alcohol, cocaine, marijuana (pick your drug of choice), and the patients look at you with wide eyes saying: 'I have NO idea how they got into my system!! Someone must have slipped me drugs or spiked my drinks!'
    It's absolutely hilarious sometimes.
  7. by   gymnut
    "NO YOU CAN NOT HAVE ANY ICE CREAM!!! YOUR BLOOD SUGAR IS SOARING INTO THE 300s SO STOP CALLING ME IN HERE EVERY 15 MINUTES TO ASK!!!"

    "IF I SEE YOU SNEAKING OVER TO THAT SINK TO TAKE A DRINK ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO DUCT TAPE YOU TO THE BED! I KNOW NPO IS LATIN BUT I'VE EXPLAINED WHAT IT MEANS TO YOU IN ENGLISH OVER A DOZEN TIMES ALREADY!!!"

    "STOP ******** ABOUT YOUR BLOOD SUGAR BEING SO HIGH AND THAT WE AREN'T DOING ENOUGH TO CONTROL IT! YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE DRAWER OF SUGARY SNACKS THAT YOU KEEP INHALING ON A NON STOP BASIS SO WTH DO YOU EXPECT? ALSO STOP MAKING MOANING/GROANING NOISES WHILE YOU EAT AS THOUGH YOU'RE MAKING LOVE TO YOUR FOOD."

    Whew that felt great!!!

    I had these three patients for a week and they drove me nuts.

    The first one is this gross homeless guy who has rectal cancer and comes in for a few days to receive chemo. He smells really bad, refuses all hygienic care and his nails are long and caked with God knows what. All he gets on his bell for is his ice cream. He will even try to leave his room to get it or pull out his port (amongst other things) just so we can come in and he gets to ask for his ice cream. It's gotten to the point where he will need a room by the nurses station all because of a dairy product.

    The third person drove me nuts because she wasn't diabetic but getting her sugar checked due to other illnesses going on in her body. Every time we would go in there and do it sure enough it would be over 250 and she would wring her hands and cry about how 'we're not getting it right and now she has to be stuck with more insulin!' Well come to find out she has a whole drawer full of sugary snacks. We told her doctor but he said since she isn't diabetic it was ok for her to eat that. I will admit that I don't know much when it comes to blood sugar but common sense says it shouldn't be that high on anyone. Why he would want her blood sugar out of control and be shot up with insulin every day is beyond me.

    Plus every ******* time she eats it sounds like one long orgasm.

    "OH mmmmmm, Oh God" 'smack, chomp, chew' "Ahhhh, oohhhh"


    edit Why is f r i g g i n a bad word?
  8. by   Riseupandnurse
    "I have really enjoyed taking care of you. You have made my evening very pleasant and I'm glad I could help you and that I got to know you and your family. (true, for a change) But no, I won't be back tomorrow. Why? Because you are my very last patient as I am leaving bedside nursing. I will really, really miss taking care of patients like you."
    A nice comment, to a nice patient and family and best of all (because they seem so very rare any more) utterly, utterly true, as of January 1 of this year. With apologies to Dr. King, whom I admire, "Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, I'm free at last!!!!"
  9. by   carolmaccas66
    Quote from janhetherington
    "I have really enjoyed taking care of you. You have made my evening very pleasant and I'm glad I could help you and that I got to know you and your family. (true, for a change) But no, I won't be back tomorrow. Why? Because you are my very last patient as I am leaving bedside nursing. I will really, really miss taking care of patients like you."
    A nice comment, to a nice patient and family and best of all (because they seem so very rare any more) utterly, utterly true, as of January 1 of this year. With apologies to Dr. King, whom I admire, "Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, I'm free at last!!!!"
    Where are you going to Jan?
  10. by   carolmaccas66
    Quote from NocturneNrse
    This is a response to the "Refusing meds" comment.. and I so hate to sound evil.. but sometimes I just want to say.. either take your meds and the care that we're offering.. or LEAVE AND STOP WASTING EVERYONE'S TAX DOLLARS AND TIME WHEN THERE ARE TRULY SICK PATIENTS THAT REQUIRE THIS BED, YOU LAZY SELFISH ABSOLUTE PIECE OF DO NOTHING CRUDOLA!!!!

    eh hem.... thank you.
    Ha ha! Couldn't have said it better NocturneNurse! Makes you wonder why we bother trying to help anyone at all sometimes (sigh), when it's obvious they keep getting admitted back to hospital cos they won't do anything to help or care for themselves.
  11. by   UpinawayRN
    Sir, I am sooo sorry your wife thought the free dinner tray I went out of my way to get while I have 10 meds to still give, was so disgusting. I TOLD you both the cafeteria was still open and right down the hall . And, ARBYS is across the street. Sorry NO, I don't have any flavored creamer either! And, since you got in the car and drove here, how come you now can't adjust your own pillow?
    Last edit by UpinawayRN on Jan 12, '11
  12. by   Riseupandnurse
    Carolmaccas66: Thanks for asking where I'm going, and not just assuming I'm retiring due to advanced age, like so many around me decided. I am teaching full-time now, which I love, love, love! Tried to hang on to acute care for 6 years after I started teaching, but it just got so darn hard. Every time I came in to acute care there was a new protocol, new equipment, new rules, a new mandatory meeting coming up. Why do we have to have constant change in acute care? Not all of it helps the patient and virtually none of it helps the nurse to take care of the patient. I don't mind change, but I have seen so much change for the worse in my years in acute care. We even had good staffing but it could have been one-on-one and we still wouldn't have had time to keep up with it, let alone get a break or get out anything close to on time. Health care has got to change.
  13. by   carolmaccas66
    Quote from janhetherington
    Carolmaccas66: Thanks for asking where I'm going, and not just assuming I'm retiring due to advanced age, like so many around me decided. I am teaching full-time now, which I love, love, love! Tried to hang on to acute care for 6 years after I started teaching, but it just got so darn hard. Every time I came in to acute care there was a new protocol, new equipment, new rules, a new mandatory meeting coming up. Why do we have to have constant change in acute care? Not all of it helps the patient and virtually none of it helps the nurse to take care of the patient. I don't mind change, but I have seen so much change for the worse in my years in acute care. We even had good staffing but it could have been one-on-one and we still wouldn't have had time to keep up with it, let alone get a break or get out anything close to on time. Health care has got to change.
    To be honest, I didn't even look at your age!
    Good on you. I somehow think many things in nursing will never change, some practices are very old fashioned.
    Anyway it's great you are happy, sounds like you were ready for a change and needed to get out.
    And I never just 'assume' things with people, I try to keep an open mind - that's a psychiatric nurse for you!
    Cheers.
    Carol

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