The "bully" nurse

wondern, ASN · Nov 11, 2010

Gosh, that's what I thought, too, for a long time. I always trusted the system until I got screwed by it. Just keep standing up for yourself. Speak up softly but firmly. Pray. I told myself. However it's not always that cut and dry, unfortunately and until you've walked in that person's shoes its really hard to fully appreciate the position they were in or the trauma they went through or may be going through.

Sometimes even when you do confront the bully nothing happens except you get written up for 'confronting' the manager's bully buddy. At least that's how it can happen if you have unethical managers who evidently enjoy high school type games.

It is stereotypical that older nurses bully younger nurses and vice versa. There's just different personalities in all age nurses, much like the population in general. Bullies come in all ages, shapes, sizes, and positions of authority. They can and do enable each other at times.

There is certainly no glory in being bullied. It's embarassing. That's why it goes unreported so often. :redpinkhe

Also, I respect Eleanor Roosevelt, and I like her quote but, of course, it just doesn't always ring true, and on a thread entitled the 'bully' nurse, it just doesn't feel real supportive. It could potentially feel like blaming the victim, and there is always a victim in bullying. Bullying is a proven phenomena. It's not like the bullies' target wants to be a victim and haven't fought it. Then again maybe Eleanor's exactly right as you could actually move somewhere else, transfer, etc., I guess if stopping the behavior proved to be futile.

Oh yes, your welcome, angelique777, just trying to reach out as it sounded like maybe all that was happening pretty close to home.:heartbeat

nicenurselpn, LPN · Nov 16, 2010

the place i work at currently has nurse bully who has surrounded herself with "minions". the nurse is very volatile and very very confrontational. she has a history of threatening other nurses and has actually shoved another employee. both times she got away with it, even though it was reported to hr (what a joke there). she has badmouthed me and my nursing skills. i am in the process of keeping documentation of incidents to present to my boss. morale is at an all time low due to this certain person. i avoid her like the plague. she has "targeted" other nurses as well. hmmm, lets put it this way: when she was first hired, work made her go to eap b/c she would yell and scream at people instead of talking to them. maybe they should have just fired her there and then and none of this crap would be happening now. amazing how mgt turns a blind eye to her and how she treats people..............

jrivers · Sep 21, 2011

Someone who is venally abusive, critical, nasty and puts their ego above patient care. Someone who is so insecure they feel the need to put ores down around them so they might feel better. Sometimes it is cultural. I have experienced many foreign nurses that are very aggressive...perhaps it comes from the culture of e schools they went to.

dsoginer · Oct 10, 2011

I need everyone's wisdom. I took a job at a behavioral unit 2 yrs ago. First we have an absent NM. He tells us to "fight it out" if we have a problem with a staff member. He hires his friends and one of the big, burly male nurses is his best friend. This nurse and his "now nurse for 2 wks but a tech before" girlfriend run the unit at night. They bully, yell and tell nurses what to do. I got into it with his girlfriend when she was a tech for telling me how to nurse. That did it, the big male nurse decided I was the enemy and has spent the last year making my job hell. I finally reported it to HR but all of the nurses and techs are afraid of him so no one backed me up, or maybe they did and the NM won't admit it. The girlfriend told several people, several times that she would have me fired when she became a nurse. Want you to understand I am one hell of a good nurse, however for the last two weeks she has been submitting to the NM any paperwork she thinks I have made mistakes on. One was justifiable. I have to argue with the NM over each accusation and the stress is overpowering. I am going to have to quit a job that I am so good at and love because of this. Any suggestions?

mmm333, LVN · Oct 29, 2011

I am a male nurse starting a new job, with orientation. Management has pulled me aside a few times and sort of laughed about the "tattle-tales" who are already undercutting me on day 3 when I'm not even working yet, and let me know that these things have a tendency to backfire on the people undermining their coworkers, and that they judge nurses partially on their ability to lead, teach, and mentor other nurses- not their ability to report minor discrepancies to the boss. They told me to keep my mouth shut and my ears and eyes open for the first 6 months. That was a real relief to hear, and it sounds like great advice to me.

mmm333, LVN · Oct 29, 2011

... If I am every a manager, and I get photocopies of mistakes from nurses, I'm going to ask them why didn't they teach that nurse how to do it right, and why are they wasting my time with that task? I will tell them that I expect more from them in these situations. And I might even tell them not to waste company paper for personal use. ;]

TheGuestNurse · Oct 30, 2011

mention the words "hostile work environment" to your boss. They'll fix it or know they have the potential to be sued.

Document. Document. Document.

Every occurrence of the bullying and mobbing that is taking place needs to written down and logged. You need to be able to clearly show when this has occurred.

Take a stand. Don't be a member of the herd.

Stand up for yourself and your patients.

ProgressiveActivist, BSN, RN · Nov 7, 2011

These types always fall on their own sword. Bide your time and they will be exposed.

I believe that half of the people in nursing have a mental disorder &/or personality disorder. I am not going to beat my head against the wall trying to change that.

I don't care if they make asses of them selves. I don't really need to react or interact with people who are looney tunes. Most of the time it is just more efficient to do it all myself. I draw the line at any behavior or pettiness that interferes with patient care.

In the South when we're ****** we say that's nice and bless her heart. translated that means f^&* you and that b^&*%.

yeng_27 · Apr 7, 2012

hi I've just started my training on this hospital so im labeled as a nurse orientee.. first day was fine nurses were all smiles at me and then comes the unexpected 2nd day the bullying has started.. for the past few days I have tolerated their bullying scolding me in front of their co staff treating me like I dont know anything that everything I do seems to be a mistake for them and then comes this day that I had enough this bully was always shouting at me telling me that I should know this and that (where in fact is that I really know those stuff) I know I'm still a newbie and I know my limitations and all that I was originally there to learn and not to be humiliated.. I was sick of it all they were treating me like a runner i was always the one to have to run errands for their patients even though I have patients of my own and there they were just sitting on the nurses station doing their charting and i had 5 patients plus theirs whenever they need me.. and I dont even have the time to eat anymore for I have to finish my work and all.. and when the shift ends and endorsement comes they would blame me and then criticize my work and how i endorse things.. and the fact that I paid for my training there to learn.. now leaves me with this question should I quit or endure it a little more?

cheezy_curls · May 12, 2012

I think I know the hospital you were pertaining to, hmm my best friend is currently a trainee there, and she told me that the training is getting tougher each day, she was assigned to handle 7patients and the last time I've heard was they were to handle 10patients per day, whoah! and she also said to me that she felt embarrassed every time she did something wrong because it was like they expect you to know everything (of course not all the time she did something wrong), aren't they suppose to teach you when you have done those things? And the typical scenario is somebody will scold you in a professional manner I think LOL, with the staff nurses mocking at you. As if they were not came from that level. :S

dsoginer · Jul 15, 2012

Wanted to let everyone know that I had to quit this job the stress was not worth it. I now work in another mental health hospital the difference is day and night. Everyone is helpful, the techs know and do their jobs. No bullies; the DON is wonderful, she will call each floor everyday in the am and pm and ask if we need anything.

Also to the nurse who talked of "Karma" unfortunately it did come to get him. They put a young girl in for a drug overdose, to bed and did not check on her. She was blue when someone remembered to check. They did CPR for 2 hrs brought her back twice, but ultimately she lost the battle. So sorry it took this, but I hope something good came out of it and changes were made.

TheGuestNurse · Jul 16, 2012

Terrible to hear of the fate of the young girl.

Wonderful to hear that you've moved onto much greener pastures.

It's been nearly a year since I've left the hospital that caused me so much grief, and I couldn't have made a better decision.