Telling your head nurse that they...uhh.., sabotaging new staff?

[hazyblue]

What's a better word for suck? :?

So I was wondering if anyone here has/had told their head nurse or charge nurse or supervisor or manager that they are awful? What's your story? Is such a thing all right to be done?

These past few days, I feel like telling my head nurse that she's SO bad at training me but fortunately or unfortunately I can't speak to her. My tongue just gets tied.

I want to tell her to stop expecting me not to make any mistakes because I 99.9% do not know anything about dialysis. I want to tell her to stop scolding me as if she oriented me well to the unit. When I was new to the unit, she made me take vital signs and priming for at least a month and that killed my brain cells. And during those days, when I asked a question of why this and that, she would say later. There was even a time when she scolded my senior for teaching me about sodium profiles, and that just made me lose the desire to ask questions. Seriously, I still don't know all the options of a hemodialysis machine. I want to tell her to stop expecting me to be improved and fast on the job because she just or rather the whole area just lowers my morale and most of the time I lose my will to work and occasionally my will to live.

I am already stressed with patients that I can't please and can never please because of their first impression of me and all of head nurse's being just pushes me off my limit. It is so sad not to have support.

Anyway, there was a time that my tongue slid out a bit and I told her I want to be transferred to another area. She asked me at first "why" but when another mishap on my part occurred (a mishap that even the senior nurses experience) she was more the willing to transfer me. I think there was something else, a misunderstanding perhaps but I hated to tackle things with her. This just made me think less of her abilities of guiding new nurses.

And the sad part was she told me that I will be transferring on the very day that I got myself to view dialysis with love.

As a conclusion (did I even made sense?), before I leave the unit for another one this following month, I want to give her a review of her performance so that she'll improve herself however there is just this wall between us. I was thinking of telling our nursing department director so that she could tell her but it just doesn't seem right..... *sigh* I hate my work place...

[Altra, BSN, RN]

Absolutely, your failure to integrate into this unit is someone else's fault, because you 99.9% don't know anything about dialysis ... and absolutely it's your job to evaluate the performance of a superior. Gotcha.

Hoping that your transfer goes smoothly.

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

Were you being facetious when you wrote this: "most of the time I lose my will to work and occasionally my will to live." ??? If you truly lose your will to live due to the job, it's time to move on AND it's time to talk to someone about the thinking you're doing. I don't mean your manager or her boss. I mean a supportive friend or counselor. It is over the top to have no will to live due to a job. I feel for you and think it's good you're moving on.

I think along the way it would have been productive to talk to the woman about your feelings rather than letting them build up to the boiling point. Then if you didn't get any response you could go to the next person up the ladder to talk about it. If you're not getting proper orientation, it's your responsibility to work toward getting it, just as it's the facility's responsibility to give it to you.

At this point, what purpose would telling her what you think of her, or telling her boss about it, do to make things better? Surely it won't make things better for you. It will also leave a negative feeling between you and her. You never know when she might be your manager again, and you do not want to burn bridges. You'd be likely to be seen as someone who just wants the last word who has been carrying a grudge. This is true if you talk to her boss too.

Could you tell her without being emotional or angry while talking? If not, it's definitely not something you should do. You will look like the bad guy. You seem very emotional about all of this. I wonder if you could tell anyone what you think without being emotional.

You're moving on. Spend your time winding down at this place and getting ready for the new place. Still do your best where you are, but since you know you're leaving, now's the time to have a new focus--for the future rather than the past.

Some questions and thoughts I have:

How long have you worked there? Might more time make it better, if you haven't been there long?

What is the impression your patients have of you? Where does that come from?

What were the mishaps?

I truly wish you well and think you should examine your part in this as well as hers. Otherwise your stress might follow you to the next job and any others that follow.

[nerdtonurse?, BSN, RN]

1) You can learn from anybody. Sometimes it's what to do, sometimes it's what not to do.

2) Internet. When I started telemetry, when I wasn't at work, I was crawling the net reading and learning everything I could. I came home, pulled up the owner's manual for the IV pumps, the defibrillator we used, etc., and read them over, and over, and over. Same thing for rhythms. Nobody taught me this stuff to any depth in school.

3) This is not school, no on is going to spoon feed you anything. If I'm teaching someone, I expect them to remember what I tell them after the 3rd or 4th go round.

4) If you ask me something crazy, I'm going to look at you like you're nuts.

You are responsible for you. How would you feel, in 4 or 5 years, if you're precepting someone who seems to have continuous "mishaps" and they tell you that you're the one screwing up?

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

Holy not-taking-responsibility-for-your-own-knowledge-base Batman!

I wouldn't do anything if I were you.

I mean, you're already leaving this department, right? And I assume you're going to be in the same healthcare system, yes?

Burning bridges, ESPECIALLY in the same healthcare system, is a very bad idea. Word travels faster than the speed of light sometimes.

[hazyblue]

@ Altra and Whispera

I know that learning is a two way process but just as Whispera said I think I'm too emotional to talk about things. And I can see that I'm "likely to be seen as someone who just wants the last word who has been carrying a grudge". I wish to be less emotional but I think the best way to let go of my frustrations is to talk to someone but my friends don't understand because they think that my unit is the best unit in our hospital and I'm so lucky I was assigned there.

I will be 4 months in dialysis by the end of September. I thought I'll improve if I stay but when my head nurse had decided against keeping me, my desire to stay just can't overcome my desire to leave.

When I entered the unit, I have no experience in dialysis and the patients knew that and some of them don't even want me near them. Then mishaps happened which includes many oozing of blood because I can't compress the insertion site right, and four or five out of vein insertions.

Then there was the mysterious case of a CCU patient. I don't know what's the issue if its a.) the doctor who came in thought I was trying to work the machine despite my venous chamber being clotted b.) the venous chamber is clotted c.) they think I reported the problem late or d.) I think they are blaming me for the bradycardia.

It just saddens me that I can't escape first impressions. *sigh*

[llg, PhD, RN]

In no industry is it appropriate or wise to tell your manager that he/she sucks. You and the job were not a good fit. Period. End of story. Move on. You were lucky to get a transfer instead of simply being fired (regardless of whose "fault" the mis-fit was).

Your manager could have fired you ... but she chose to save your job for you. She did you a favor. Be grateful and move on. Don't "burn your bridges" by insulting her and her unit as you leave.

Clearly, you are too emotional now to be thinking and discussing it with her without risking saying the wrong thing. Just express your regrets that things didn't work out. If she asks for some feedback -- or for some suggestions as to what she might have done differently to help you -- give those suggestions in a positve, constructive way. Speak in tems of your problems and how she might have helped by doing a few things differently: don't speak in terms of it all being about things she did wrong.

In your next job -- take responsibility for your own learning and practice. Use those around you as resources, but always remember that you are a professional -- and that in the end, it is YOUR responsibility to learn what you need to learn to do the job.

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

Just a big ol' hug. I just had a terrible time on a med/surg unit. No hospital experience, given six days of orientation and thrown a patient load of six, of whom three came back later that day fresh from PACU.

I do suggest you keep your mouth shut and move on. While I do not share the opinion that it was even mostly you, it was at least partly you. And sometimes it is just personal, which became clear to me on my exit interview. All I said was, "Well, all righty then."

It hurts, esp. when you were almost sabotaged, or when it feels that way. But learn from it and go. And keep your mouth shut about her on the new unit, just say that dialysis was not a good fit for you, and learn. And keep your mouth shut. DO not let a patient know you are nervous!

[hazyblue]

@ nerdtonurse?

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1.) i tried that but they taught me different things and occasionally they were scolded by my head nurse because she thinks i should learn things one by one.

2.) for your information, i just moved in this foreign country, i didn't have internet on the first months. i don't even have my books. i don't even have much money. when i did get internet, i did my research. i even asked people here at allnurses. however it was too late for that, first impressions last.

3) they didn't teach me anything related to my problem in the first place. let alone telling me a 3rd time and a 4th time.

4) now, i just didn't understand this.

by the way, i don't have those mishaps at present.

@ delanaharvickwannabe

re: holy not-taking-responsibility-for-your-own-knowledge-base batman!

i know my faults and i know my responsibility for asking questions but that doesn't erase the fact that my head nurse is also responsible and she was bad at it.

sometimes when i'm able to ask questions my colleagues would tell me to ask the most senior nurse instead (aside from my head nurse). now the problem is i'm not on the same shift as her. i am almost never on the same shift as her and my head nurse because we are the only two females on the unit and my head nurse had this need to distribute us among patients.

basically she made me work like an experienced staff even if i wasn't fully oriented.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

Perhaps in your next position, you could resolve to turn a page in your learning process. During orientation, you could keep a little notebook in your pocket to record your questions throughout the day. Each night, you Google or otherwise research the question. Those questions that you cannot figure out on your own, or which might be specific to your facility, you take to your preceptor the next day.

That way he/she will be aware that you are attempting to educate yourself, but still have questions that require answers from your preceptor. The bottom line always is that you and only you are responsible for your education and appropriate education. Blaming others will not help you succeed.

[hazyblue]

*sigh* "Your responsibility alone", I don't know how your world works for you people but no man is an island.

You can't expect someone to ask questions about something they have no idea about. Are you going to ask how to bake a cake if you don't know what a cake is?

Anyway, I know what you are all trying to say but I can't make things work on my own with nothing. I know that nursing is a field where you can never be too careful and that you should question everything. Unfortunately, I'm not able to see everything because I wasn't even oriented to everything.

My orientation was to sit and watch. I wasn't able to shadow a staff on my start because I was assigned to do this and that. I followed different people as an initiative but that set-up didn't allow me to see everything. They gave me the unit's protocol but what was written there is something they no longer follow. I pointed that out but they said later.

I just wanted to say to my head nurse that teaching someone one lesson per month is not effective when you make them handle patients alone. Actually, I was being sent to the ICU for acute cases by myself (thank goodness I have internet by that time).

I just realized that this thread became focused on her teaching methods...it's not just about that. There's also staffing problems and inconsideration and bias.

[hazyblue]

By the way, I am not blaming her alone. I also blame myself. So before anyone of you say things along the line of me washing my hands regarding the situation again, please remember I don't blame her alone. I also blame myself hence the lose of the will to work and occasionally the will to live. Too bad some of you who already judged me as an "I'm-holier-than-thou-person" might never read this part.

I guess suck is such a strong word also. My bad. Anyway, do not fret, I won't tell my head nurse that she sucks. I can't even send my message properly to most of you strangers, let alone to the very person who caused me stress.

Thank you all for the advice. Communicating with you people helped me clear my head to sanity. I just don't have anyone to talk too and I appreciate all of you even those who negate my views.

....with my sane brain, I just realized that some of you might be head nurses or managers and the like.

*hugs to nurses that are new in something*