Sure to Get Flamed for This

Time to don the fireproof underwear. It is 0500 and the reality alarm clock is ringing, and some people do not like to hear it go off. So whether you agree with me or not, I feel it is time to inject a little thought provoking ideas into your life. Nurses Announcements Archive Article

I am sure I am about to get flamed for posting this, but I feel the need to anyways. I have been seeing these threads talking about bullying and teachers or preceptors hating the students, and new nurses or abusing them because of some perceived slight or injustice. Well guess what?

The world is a hard cold nasty place that does not need to be polite to you or worry whether your feelings got hurt and you feel offended. You need to grow up and realize that the abuse that you claim is rampant, or the bullying that you experience all the time is not their problem, but rather your problem.

I see so many posts about this and I wonder how some of these people have survived as long as they have. School is tough? Deal with it. You think that someone else is getting it easier? Well too bad, they may be but no one ever promised you everything would be fair. You have to learn that there is inequality in life. It's how you overcome that inequality that matters. It teaches perseverance.

Abusive teachers? Maybe they are trying to get the best in you to come out. What you think is abuse maybe is pushing you to your limits, to get you further along in your potential. So your feelings got hurt at school, grow up, feelings get hurt every day.

Your preceptor is unorganized and does not like you and bad mouths you to your manager, and all your patients love you but no one at the hospital sees how great you really are?

Well your preceptor may actually have great time management skill, but when having to slow down and teach someone their job, things do tend to get disorganized. You may be part of the blame there.

Did you ever stop to think that you are the proverbial monkey wrench in a well oiled machine? The need to teach you, and I realize you do need to learn, can be very time consuming. They may tell your manager that you need improving or that you are not advancing fast enough. They may be all smiles to you, because they want to support you and keep you positive, but they need to tell the manager how you really are.

Speaking of orientation, how often have I seen statements that say the other nurses are not supportive and will not answer questions. Have you ever thought that maybe you are asking TOO MANY questions?

After a bit it may seem that you are not retaining the info provided and everyone gets tired of answering the same questions over and over. Part of learning is knowing when to shut your mouth and just watch. It has been said by people wiser than me that the only question you should ask is the question that you already know the answer to. If that does not make sense to you, think about it for a while and you might just be surprised that a light comes on.

So basically what i am saying is grow up and act like the adult that you are. Life is not fair, school is not fair, work is not fair. You just have to learn to deal with it.

Specializes in Telemetry, IMCU.
i agree with you, but I want to point out something in my workplace that I find even more concerning: new grads who never ask questions. They fly under the radar, and when I've followed them or helped out on a rapid response, the holes in their knowledge are very evident.

Everyone speaks of the new grads with too many questions, but we really need to talk about those nurses off orientation who never do.

That's been me a couple times. Being an lpn, they assume we know it all. As an RN student that's frustrating, especially since I went from lpn school straight into the RN bridge. I've remained silent with certain instructors due to previous experience of annoyance from my questions. Granted, I'm not asking for a handout, but if you never taught us how the buretrol is used, don't get snippy when we ask you. Just my 0.02. :)

Can we all agree that manners makes all of life a little more tolerable? Bad manners, rudeness, unwillingness to help or answer questions leads to a whole host of other problems and complicates the entire day, week, year… It's no fun working with people we have to walk on eggshells around whether they are 'sensitive' or 'insensitive'. Just be nice. It seems to me that there is an awful lot of justification going on for bad behavior. I suspect that those who say bullying does not exist are in fact the bullies. We all have different perceptions and different personalities. Dealing with it may mean calling someone out on their bad behavior. Usually that does the trick but sometimes SOMETIMES there are nurses who are just plain ******* and enjoy it. I worked with a nurse who said 'If I haven't ****** off someone every day then I haven't done my job'….????? WHAT????? So over that mentality.

Specializes in CEN, CFRN, PHRN, RCIS, EMT-P.

Bullies! Then we wonder why nursing hasn't advanced as fast as other healthcare professions (DO, etc.). With this petty behavior it's no surprise.

Specializes in Stepdown . Telemetry.
Oh boy -- where to start?

Getting exasperated with a new nurse or a student who repeatedly asks the same question or who just doesn't seem to "get it" despite multiple attempts to teach it isn't an example of "bullying" or being two faced and phoney. It's an example of being human. What's wrong with asking the same question three times is that it's evidence that you're not getting it. Accumulate enough evidence that you're not getting it and you may be subject to remediation, the discipline process or termination.

Treating someone rudely--with zero reflection on your own behavior, is NOT "being human".

Yes. We get annoyed, busy or frustrated, and we might treat a newbie kindof cruddy. It doesnt make a bully. Because when we got home, upon a little reflection, we might think: "Even though the new nurse should know this skill by now because I taught her 3 times, I wish I hadnt snapped at her because she couldnt work the IV pump".

This is what makes the phrase "being human", making mistakes, being imperfect, but seeing how you can do better--a growth-mindset.

Bullies dont reflect and see their weakness, they are justified, entitled, and right in their actions. I just didnt get much "being human" from the OP; all I got was black/white, right/wrong, oh and I am right and they are wrong.

When treated with respect by others, I find it's easier to learn, be productive, & focus on the patient; that's what's important in this discussion, in my opinion. I have no idea why someone would consider it an unreasonable expectation that nurses & students be given the respect that is due by virtue of being human.

Our nurse manager at a former place of employment distributed an article called " The Downward Spiral: Incivility in Nursing" found at the link below. It talks a/b a continuum exists with uncivil behavior, from things like eye rolling & sarcasm to physical aggression, & all are considered disruptive. http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/739328_1

pushing someone to bring out the best is one thing

bullying and demoralizing is another...it is abuse, and then there should be nothing wrong with laying them out cold for it.

especially the doctors.

Nursing is a profession and should be treated as such-- not where some old nag can beat up on the young.

granted there may be a fine line between pushing and abuse.. but this is when training comes in, diverse ways of training.

sometimes people learn better hands on- for you cant teach a kid to ride a bike in a seminar...

each person is different- yet training is mostly a cookie cutter method- of one size fits all.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
pushing someone to bring out the best is one thing

bullying and demoralizing is another...it is abuse, and then there should be nothing wrong with laying them out cold for it.

especially the doctors.

Nursing is a profession and should be treated as such-- not where some old nag can beat up on the young.

granted there may be a fine line between pushing and abuse.. but this is when training comes in, diverse ways of training.

sometimes people learn better hands on- for you cant teach a kid to ride a bike in a seminar...

each person is different- yet training is mostly a cookie cutter method- of one size fits all.

"Laying them out cold" is assault and battery. It is also illegal.

Now we are lawyers? Personally, I would call it self defense...

lay them out.. did i say physically? i left it vague...

oops they just slipped on bodily fluids... now that's an accident, accidents happen all the time.

and battery??? you might want to look up your terms and know what you are saying-- unless you were planning on hitting them with a fire extinguisher!!!

there is no need for someone to be nasty --as someone else wrote- a pleasant work place is much more productive... positive reinforcement does work and does not leave a worker in fear for their job which ultimately leads to mistakes and death-- how many nurses, especially student nurses are afraid to go the supervisor to double check a dosage- a procedure etc-

I'm sure some would rather guess than deal with all the negativity...or possible termination.

A firm supervisor, that is confident and works with you, encourages a person and pulls the leader out of the person and grows them is what works...

yell at my dog- guaranteed he will bite.. talk to him and he will listen-- his IQ i guess is higher than most supervisors!!!

Specializes in HH, Peds, Rehab, Clinical.
Now we are lawyers? Personally, I would call it self defense...

lay them out.. did i say physically? i left it vague...

oops they just slipped on bodily fluids... now that's an accident, accidents happen all the time.

and battery??? you might want to look up your terms and know what you are saying-- unless you were planning on hitting them with a fire extinguisher!!!

there is no need for someone to be nasty --as someone else wrote- a pleasant work place is much more productive... positive reinforcement does work and does not leave a worker in fear for their job which ultimately leads to mistakes and death-- how many nurses, especially student nurses are afraid to go the supervisor to double check a dosage- a procedure etc-

I'm sure some would rather guess than deal with all the negativity...or possible termination.

A firm supervisor, that is confident and works with you, encourages a person and pulls the leader out of the person and grows them is what works...

yell at my dog- guaranteed he will bite.. talk to him and he will listen-- his IQ i guess is higher than most supervisors!!!

Assault lr is the act of swinging, battery is when you make contact. That's my cop husbands laymans synopsis of it. Where does the fire extinguisher come into it?!

You want legal info- go ask a lawyer not a cop---

His definition is wrong - guess that's why lawyers make the big bucks

i wouldn't ask a dentist for proctology information or an exam...

even though B.S. come from both.

besides you are going off topic- buckybadger?? name fits. gooday..

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
You want legal info- go ask a lawyer not a cop---

His definition is wrong - guess that's why lawyers make the big bucks

i wouldn't ask a dentist for proctology information or an exam...

even though B.S. come from both.

besides you are going off topic- buckybadger?? name fits. gooday..

I'm sure you don't mean for this to come across as nasty as it sounds.

Half the world's population has a below average IQ -- Ruby Vee

༄❀Proud member of the Crusty Old Bat Society

I'm sure you didnt mean to insult half the world's population either...

it is whatever you think it is... after all you are from the crusty old bat society...

instead seeing that i said go to a lawyer

gave an example to get your facts from the right source

made a comparison....between orifices

and then mentioned we are off topic- for the badger cant let it go...

and now the old bat jumped in-- (your words)... this thread is not about assaults or legal terms

but how you old bats go at it... let it go- life is too short--- 6 hours until the next shift

treat people nicer later