Sorry but I need to get this off of my chest... can anyone relate??

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Specializes in Surgical.

I was so proud of myself for finishing nursing school! Graduating from a stressful program. Putting in the countless hours of studying, sacrificing so much to reach my goal -- a Bachelor's degree in Nursing... working my butt off to pass the NCLEX -- which I thank God I did in July 2012.

Flash-forward to now... I'm an RN working on a understaffed, circus of a step down unit (with some of the most negative people I've ever met in my life -- talk about Debbie Downers!! SHEESH!!! But I guess when people are stressed it tends to bring out the worst in any of us...)

I was SO grateful for this job! So excited! So thrilled that this was the beginning of a new chapter in my life... after months of searching as a new grad :) My family was so proud of me for my accomplishments too.

Orientation days were a breeze... still felt somewhat competent and confident in my abilities to juggle caring for 6-8 patients at a time and somehow manage to NOT cause any harm to them with all the things/tasks I have to remember.

I've only been a nurse a little while, and I'm SO disappointed in myself. Disappointed in feeling so inadequate, disappointed that I hate being a nurse so much now, disappointed that I'm complaining while others don't even have jobs... Just disappointed that I am letting other people down too (along with myself) -- including you other nurses reading this... I'm sorry for that :(

Only thing I still like though, is patient care and caring for people... I love showing up in their rooms with a genuine smile on my face and compassion in my heart to care for them. Wish it didn't have to be so rushed. I still feel that I owe that to them, even if I hate the actual job itself... But, I am so unfulfilled. I want to be out of this profession. If things were different (i.e. more support staff, better attitudes, shorter shifts, etc.) I think nursing would be a better profession to become a part of (IMHO). I have so much respect for the nurses who are able to do this job without feeling like this!!!

I just feel the life and my joy being sucked out of me after each 13+ hour draining shift I spend in the hospital. I'm trying to find a job as a school nurse, so that I don't have to feel like I wasted 5 years of my life studying to become what I am today. I just regret it so much. I'm grateful that I realize this now before marriage, the kids, etc.

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Hello,

You sound just like me when I first started in this profession. It's been almost five years and I still feel unfulfilled. I'm working as a school now after working in a hospital setting for awhile. I never felt joy for the same reasons that you have mentioned. It's really hard to become a nurse and then reality sets in. I have regrets sometimes, but I don't want to turn my back completely on my profession.

As a school nurse, I am still very busy and the pay is not great. I keep telling myself to stick with it because of the normal schedule hours. But it still is not where I really want to be. So I understand exactly how you're feeling right now. I hope you continue to gain experience and then move on to a different environment. You'll find your niche :)

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

Welcome to AN! The largest online nursing community!

moved for best response....

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Instead of being disappointed in yourself, be disappointed in the facility/administration that under staffs the circus.

Of course you feel inadequate, you are stretched too thin and overwhelmed with tasks.

Put your time in, one or two years... then many doors will open and you can leave the circus.

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how long have you been a nurse? it just sounds like the honeymoon is over. my nursing school did a research project about nurses one year after graduation. they said from 6-12 months after you start a job is the lowest point in your career. your mind is filled with doubt, you feel disappointed about what you thought the profession had become, etc. it will get better - it's not all peaches and cream obviously but you will start to feel better.

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Wow, the "stepdown" unit at my hospital was considered a critical care unit and had a 3:1 patient/nurse ratio. Your unit sounds like it's understaffed.

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how long have you been a nurse? it just sounds like the honeymoon is over. my nursing school did a research project about nurses one year after graduation. they said from 6-12 months after you start a job is the lowest point in your career. your mind is filled with doubt you feel disappointed about what you thought the profession had become, etc. it will get better - it's not all peaches and cream obviously but you will start to feel better.[/quote']

I don't know, it's been 5 years for me and it still hasn't gotten any better and I still feel just as miserable

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Specializes in Surgical.

I've only been working as a nurse since April 2013...so about 8 months. I guess the honeymoon is over, but I find that nights are a better pace for me, work wise. I don't find myself becoming AS stressed.

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Specializes in SDU, Tele.

I can relate so much. About the same amount of time, started at a step down unit with a ratio of 4-6. high turnover. daily huddles in the middle of med pass to tell us our pt satisfaction scores are low and we need to step it up. lol. totally over it!

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Specializes in Medical Surgical.

I felt this way before, it seems to be a phase between; What the heck am I doing, I feel like I know what I'm doing and Oh, god this is easy.

Its like somewhere between those phases you start looking to your co-workers more and what you see is amplified. Things seem terrible. Then after time goes by, and you keep sticking it out, things seem to mellow, you start to notice that your co-workers actually have good days, even if they are afflicted by "Resting ****** face" You start to have good days, more and more of them. You stop thinking about work so much at home. Then one day you wake up and you may even think "Wow, I feel calm about going into work today. I'm not dreading it like usual." Then you slap a grin on your face and drag your tried feet in that direction because you are excited about seeing your debbie downer co-workers and cant wait to get there.

The funny thing is, I have gone through this twice now, each time I have changed my nursing career focus.

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I went straight into home health after graduating. It's not for everyone, but I feel it's been a nice way to ease myself into the profession. One patient at a time, doing your basic nursing skills. If anyone goes this route I would recommend to keep up-to-date on your more skilled nursing skills so if you ever transition to something else you will still have that knowledge.

I dunno, maybe something to try if things don't get better at your current job.

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Specializes in Surgical.

Thanks all for the replies... I've been reflecting a lot about my career and what I want out of nursing. I'm starting to realize that the people/personalities you work with is SO important. I was placed on nights for 3 weeks as part of an extended probation plan because my manager felt that I was struggling a little too much on days. I found that the night nurses were more positive and seemed to handle the stress better than the day nurses, which made for a much less stressful work environment all together. The day nurses seem to be so burnt out and I know it's easy to become burnt out in this stressful field we chose... When I find that other people's attitudes/tones are "rubbing off" onto me, I just try to recognize and stop the cycle (in myself) remain positive and try to make it through the shift as best I can with what I have and who I'm working with at the moment.

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