So Sick of Pushy Patients and Verbal Abuse

[applesRN]

For the most part, I am described by others as being extremely patient and kind. But my fuse is wearing thin! with the increasing number of entitled, demanding patients, as well as verbally and sometimes threatened physically abusive nature. ( Everyone I am describing is alert and oriented. I can handle the person with brain injury or the mentally ill that have less control of their behavior and words. It's the perfectly with-it adults who should know better). I am so sick of demanding patients that my attitude towards them has changed- I go in and do my minimum assessment and work, get them what they need, and remind them that verbal abuse is not tolerated. I have gone to managers. I work in a float pool so thankfully I rarely have the same person twice. What makes a person think they can call us stupid idiots? When they have little clue about what is policy and procedure, and expecially if other nurses have given in and done what they wanted or how they wanted it. Sometimes joking around can help dissolve some situations- I have seen nurses fire back insults at the patient in a joking manner (that is not my way) and I've seen others give in to whatever they want (giving shots in unapproved sites), or getting them their coke while they are cussing. Excuse me, if you want your coke you are going to ask for it nicely, and no I am not neglecting you or refusing your care. Your immediate need of a carbonated beverage is not essential to your health and healing. I just want to say "put on your big girl panties and behave." The attitudes of patients seems to be getting worse lately, and it is stressing me out. I would like to begin a program at my hospital system based on mutual respect, with some sort of measure to curtail the verbal abuse by patients on staff. Or family members to staff. I, and many of my colleagues, are highly trained nurses with the interest of excellent care for the patient. We did not get our license out of a cracker jack box, and even if we did, no one deserves to be spoken to that way. I don't care if that's how they are raised, or just their way- they need to be accountable for their words and actions. We are not doormats. This, along with the stress of med-surg, is running me out of bedside nursing.

If your hospital or facility has any program or action plan in place, would you please share? Does it work?

Thanks!

:tku:

[Limitless_84]

Your patients are paying customers who are receiving a service for their money. Coming from the perspective of a mother with a medically fragile child, and also a BSN student, I can certainly empathize with some of the "demands" patients can make. I have always demanded competent care for my child, for instance, whether or not the nurse or physician has wanted to give it. I have been forceful when necessary, rude occasionally, and in every instance my child's well-being was at stake. Sometimes people are just douchebags, but I think fairly often they're simply sticking up for themselves the way they know how to.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Oh sure.My hospital has a program in place.

There is big red X right on my patients azz.

THAT is the spot I am supposed to kiss.

[crb613, BSN, RN]

It may be a little different for me since I am in the ER. If a patient becomes verbally abusive, disruptive....I call the police. We do not fool with them....act like you have some sense or I am done. I am speaking of the a&o, not medical conditions, or injuries that would render a person unable to control their actions.

You cannot get away with this type of behavior on the street, so don't come to my ER....become abusive, or disruptive, and expect to get away with it....ain't gonna happen!

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

Your patients are paying customers who are receiving a service for their money.

In this sluggish economy, many of the patients are not paying for the services that we render. Many are uninsured due to unemployment, underemployment, etc. So, a huge number of patients really are not paying customers after all.

In many cases, it is the taxpayer who is footing the bill for these 'consumers' of healthcare.

[AntFlip7395]

Your patients are paying customers who are receiving a service for their money. Coming from the perspective of a mother with a medically fragile child, and also a BSN student, I can certainly empathize with some of the "demands" patients can make. I have always demanded competent care for my child, for instance, whether or not the nurse or physician has wanted to give it. I have been forceful when necessary, rude occasionally, and in every instance my child's well-being was at stake. Sometimes people are just douchebags, but I think fairly often they're simply sticking up for themselves the way they know how to.

Nursing is not "a service for their money". We do not get direct reimbursement for our care. There is nothing wrong with expecting competent care for your child, but this expectation must be accompanied with a mutually respectful relationship with his/her caregivers. Do not expect to get the kindest, most competent care if you are not willing to be courteous and flexible while being firm about what you feel is best for your child.

At this point, you are a nursing student. Once you are on the other side of the fence, as a nursing professional, I expect your viewpoint will change. You truly have little idea how it is for health care professionals. I believe it is important to listen to people and accomodate them, but this must be within reason. In other words, their "demands" must not jeopardize them, my other patients, or my nursing license. I could give so many examples of patients and families, the latter being the most prevalent, having ridiculous demands and how outrageously they act when their demands are not met. The saddest part of it all is that the powers that be often go ahead and accomodate them because they are afraid of losing business. This sets a precedent of coddling behavior that only makes it harder for the nurses to cope. While I realize that a hospital must make money to survive, there needs to be a code of conduct for patients and visitors that sets limits. I think the reputation of a hospital should stand on clinical excellence first and step far, far away from this butt-kissing trend. Just my

[ledzepfan]

Nursing is not "a service for their money". We do not get direct reimbursement for our care. There is nothing wrong with expecting competent care for your child, but this expectation must be accompanied with a mutually respectful relationship with his/her caregivers. Do not expect to get the kindest, most competent care if you are not willing to be courteous and flexible while being firm about what you feel is best for your child.

At this point, you are a nursing student. Once you are on the other side of the fence, as a nursing professional, I expect your viewpoint will change. You truly have little idea how it is for health care professionals. I believe it is important to listen to people and accomodate them, but this must be within reason. In other words, their "demands" must not jeopardize them, my other patients, or my nursing license. I could give so many examples of patients and families, the latter being the most prevalent, having ridiculous demands and how outrageously they act when their demands are not met. The saddest part of it all is that the powers that be often go ahead and accomodate them because they are afraid of losing business. This sets a precedent of coddling behavior that only makes it harder for the nurses to cope. While I realize that a hospital must make money to survive, there needs to be a code of conduct for patients and visitors that sets limits. I think the reputation of a hospital should stand on clinical excellence first and step far, far away from this butt-kissing trend. Just my

Thank you:)

[Mulan]

Amen. One patient at my hospital wanted a milkshake but she was NPO (she was admitted with abd. pain)

Her nurse wouldn't give in when the pt. became loud and belligerent.....so the pt. called a Condition H.

She got her milkshake and then smirked that she should do that more often so she can get what she wants.

Our hospitals "plan of action" in dealing with rude,demanding,unreasonable patients/family is to "remember

they are sick and under a lot of stress". Well some people are just simply a$$holes whether they are sick

or not. We have a Patient Liason employed at our hospital, but whose side does she come down on? Guess.

Okay, so what's a Condition H, and how does that get an NPO patient a milkshake?

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

Amen. One patient at my hospital wanted a milkshake but she was NPO (she was admitted with abd. pain)

Her nurse wouldn't give in when the pt. became loud and belligerent.....so the pt. called a Condition H.

She got her milkshake and then smirked that she should do that more often so she can get what she wants.

Our hospitals "plan of action" in dealing with rude,demanding,unreasonable patients/family is to "remember

they are sick and under a lot of stress". Well some people are just simply a$$holes whether they are sick

or not. We have a Patient Liason employed at our hospital, but whose side does she come down on? Guess.

What would happen if you referred her request to surgical ??

Here - our surgeons would boot her out if she needed to be NPO and refused to be

[crb613, BSN, RN]

your patients are paying customers who are receiving a service for their money. coming from the perspective of a mother with a medically fragile child, and also a bsn student, i can certainly empathize with some of the "demands" patients can make. i have always demanded competent care for my child, for instance, whether or not the nurse or physician has wanted to give it. i have been forceful when necessary, rude occasionally, and in every instance my child's well-being was at stake. sometimes people are just douchebags, but i think fairly often they're simply sticking up for themselves the way they know how to.

expecting competent care is fine, and all patients deserve it. i don't care if you are "paying" or not there is no excuse for bad manners. there are other ways to ensure your loved one gets the care they need. many times patients do not understand just because they want something, or something done a certain way.....their way may not be in their best interest.....and this customer stuff is ridiculous. you are not my customer, you are my patient....there is a difference.

[pedicurn, LPN, RN]

I still remember the day I got written up because I insisted on assessing my patient before getting that patient's uncle a sleep chair. Oh,and to add to my "rudeness" I also gave the patient's mother (a baby admitted with respiratory problems) a teaching sheet on secondhand smoking.

Patients and their families don't care about what they NEED, it's all about what they WANT. And hospital management rewards their behavior.

oh my goodness

And if you did what the families wanted ... you might have been written up too.

[AngelicDarkness]

To the poster who stated we cater to what families and patients want not need - BINGO!

Had a patient in the past who had mini-TIAs resulting in a temporary loss of independence, and a lot more need for care. In my facility, we had 1 nurse and 1 psw each shift for 98 people, and we had to find the time to care for this bedridden patient because family CANCELLED private care ("Not worth the cost"). The management fought it for a day and then decided that the staff have time to assist this lady every "30 mins". I've never been more disgusted with a family before.

[ledzepfan]

To anyone who doesn't know what a Condition H is in a hospital, google the name Josie King

or Condition H. I don't know Josie King's mother personally, but I doubt she petioned, from the

depths of her personal hell following the death of her daughter, for the creation of Condition H

so an NPO pt. could GET A MILKSHAKE JUST BECAUSE SHE WANTED IT!!!