Is it okay to tell a patient to not disrespect you

Nurses Relations

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I had a patient who was questioning me and even though I attempted to answer her questions, she wasn't happy with my answers. She told me that I am a terrible nurse and to get out of her room. I said ok I will just don't disrespect me. She flipped out when I said that. Was I out of line to say that? Where I work they stress that pt satisfaction is most important so pts come back to us again

Specializes in Telemetry, OB, NICU.

It is okay to be firm with the patients and remind them of their respect limits. So yes, definitely okay.

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lolakbolak said:
Where I work they stress that pt satisfaction is most important so pts come back to us again

Yeah, but some patients you don't really want to come back again ;)

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You have rights as a person too.

Now when a patient gets out of line, when she called you a "terrible nurse" that is personal, you don't have to ignore it.

I like a long period of unnerving silence. People expect you to defend yourself and that adds fuel to the fire of their anger.

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Specializes in ICU,ER, Radiology, Online education.

I have had patient's and some of them frequent flyers who are verbally abusive. I have nicely said to them " please do not speak to me that way" and walk away. Most of the time it stops them dead in their tracks. I feel if you 'allow' them to disrespect you, they will continue. Saying it nicely and walking away gives them something to think about.

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Specializes in Nursing Professional Development.

While you shouldn't have to let patients abuse you ... I suspect that you spoke to that patient in a way that was not professional.

You need to learn how to set limits in a professional way rather than using common "street talk" in an emotional way. Don't allow yourself to get drawn into an emotional argument with a patient. Stay calm and use professional language and to regain control of the situation and "de-escalate" the situation. I suspect your exact words and tone escalated the situation rather than de-escalated it.

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Specializes in I/DD.

Silence is my favorite weapon. It gives the person a chance to hear what they just said. That combined with continued respect for the patient despite their lack of respect for you can be quite effective in creating an attitude change. Most of the time when people are upset, they just want to be heard. If they get truly abusive then setting limits is always appropriate. Read: I don't like being cursed at, I'll come back when you've had time to cool off.

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Your unprofessional ending to the situation leads me to believe the rest of your interaction with the patient may have been less than professional. But with some people it doesn't matter how professional you are, they'll still cause a scene.

I don't know the specifics of your conversation, so I can't tell you what I would have done in that situation. I've had a lot of success with "I'm sorry that happened, let me try to fix it for you," before it escalates.

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Specializes in Orthopedic, LTC, STR, Med-Surg, Tele.

It probably could have been handled better. It's hard to keep your composure especially when someone calls you a bad nurse to your face. We're only human after all.

My ground rules are, don't raise your voice or try to talk over the patient, you'll only end up competing. Use neutral language and "I" statements. Offer or at least look for a solution to the problem. Listen meaningfully to what they are saying. I've only had to tell people to stop swearing at me or stop yelling at me a couple of times, and when I say it, I said it firmly, make eye contact, tell them I'll come back in ten minutes, and give us both some time to cool down. Haven't had issues beyond that but I've been lucky.

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NurseDirtyBird said:
Your unprofessional ending to the situation leads me to believe the rest of your interaction with the patient may have been less than professional.

Well that is a rude assumption...

Besides, there is nothing wrong with setting limits. I agree with another poster that verbal abuse doesn't fly at any other job, so it shouldn't in a hospital either.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
lolakbolak said:
I had a patient who was questioning me and even though I attempted to answer her questions, she wasn't happy with my answers. She told me that I am a terrible nurse and to get out of her room. I said ok I will just don't disrespect me. She flipped out when I said that. Was I out of line to say that? Where I work they stress that pt satisfaction is most important so pts come back to us again

It depends o what the patient was questioning you about. If this was about her care

and she didn't like what you said........it is difficult but you must remain profession and NOT emotionally involved. When she calls you a terrible nurse and throws you out of her room....Politely tell her that you are sorry she is not happy/satisfied with your answers and you will leave her room and get the .....charge nurse/supervisor to hopefully clarify/assist her to her satisfaction/needs.

If a patient is screaming and name calling I will sit quietly allow them to finish and let them know it is not OK to scream/yell/use profanity and that you will go get the supervisor/charge nurse/MD before any further discussions can continue. Stay distant stay objective........say I can see how upset you are and I am sorry you feel this way would you like me to send in the charge nurse/supervisor or would you like to discuss this later. Say....What can I do to make this better for you?

When I deal with people like this I remove myself emotionally and act like I am playing a part in a play where I am the benevolent grand lady dealing with those who are not able to care for themselves......it works for me

Stay as neutral as possible....allow the next person up the food chain take the heat.

In this job climate.....always involve the charge nurse/supervisor to deal with most of these things. Don't respond and stay out of trouble.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

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Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.

There's something about that whole "Don't you dsirespect ME" that makes me see someone standing there with hands on hips and bobbing her head and going " O,no you didn't". It sounds very juvenile to me, very "street." I may be very far from the truth and I'll apologize right now if I am offending anyone but after working with teenagers in LTC for a few years I have seen plenty of head bobbing and heard that statement too many times. Esme's post is the BEST ever.You can't react with anger-We want to be seen as professionals so USE your words.My favorite line is "I'm sorry you misunderstood me, I can see that we are no longer communicating effectively,I'll go get the supervisor/unit manager/or the flipping POTUS,whatever- to discuss this with you" and then I leave-I am NOT standing there to allow myself to be abused. And always speak quietly and calmly. I like my well reheorificed line because it's a" non-apology" apology on my part....

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Fiona59 said:
Technically could be considered a code white. Verbal or physical aggression towards staff, public, or fellow patients.

We've called it.

But then our system doesn't do "customer" satisisfaction scores. Our patients only have one option.

What exactly is a code white and what system do you work for that doesn't do customer satisfaction scores?? Customer satisfaction is currently being rammed down our throats and I think is actually more important than patient care right now. I'd love to work for a company that doesn't do satisfaction scores!!

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