"Nurses are so Mean" - page 16

I wish I had a dollar for every post I've read claiming that "nurses are so mean," "nurses are nasty to each other," "nurses eat their young" or "my preceptor is picking on me for no good reason." And then if you add in all the... Read More

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    I have read those those threads also and dismiss them out of hand. Fortunately they are in the extreme minority. How they ever got through a Nursing Program boggles my mind. Using them as examples to rebutt or reject the real concerns of Nurses who are working or have worked in a hostile environment is more political than relevant. It does nothing to advance how to solve the problem. It is time to recognize there really is a problem and what we need are suggestions and ideas that will "Raise the Bar" of our expectations and the Article I suggested is a step in that direction. Regarding Unions - If we can get rid of the corrupt Union Bosses and install people who more interested in serving the people they represent than just wielding power over masses, they might be helpful. Where are the Unions now? I have been a member of the SEIU and my Granddaughter is a member now. Neither of us joined of our own free will. Then and now we joined because we needed the job. I believe the Bully problem can be solved but it takes a united front that wants to solve the problem.

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    If what you say is true and I believe it is I can understand your frustration. If it were me I would write her up. In the write-up I would suggest that maybe she is not clear in what her responsibilities are and how she could have been more helpful. I would give her the benefit of doubt and request a consult with her and the DSD or DON or HS whoever is appropriate. It is not enough to endure her lack of participation. It is not that you are mean. It is you are frustrated because you are carrying a load above your pay grade. Nip it in the bud. If once everything is "aired out" and there is no improvement in attitude or action look for another job because it won't get any better unless you have the Administration behind you.
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    Yes Annmarie. yes, yes, and yes
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    Quote from ruby vee
    you got me. my co-workers all hate me because i'm beautiful and i'm surrounded by crowds of mean people who have been bullying me my whole life.

    there have been dozens of posts -- and a younger relative or two -- bemoaning the "fact" that everyone they know hates them for their extreme good looks and that they're perfect people who are the victims of bullying or lateral violence for no good reason other than that others are jealous of their sheer perfection. and they know that "nurses eat their young" because no matter how many times they change jobs, their co-workers are always nasty to them. i'm getting tired of hearing it, and i guess i had hoped that maybe someone would read my post and have an "aha!" moment. ("oh, maybe they don't all hate me because i'm young and attractive; maybe it's because i keep blathering on about my youth and beauty all day every day.") or whatever. i know that i'm going to be terminally stupid until the teenager is at least 25, but maybe i can make a difference for someone else.

    so you're right, in a way. the source is something personal. i don't think that makes the message any less real, however. and while i agree with you that we should all strive to leave our personal problems at the door when we come to work, none of us are perfect people (with the possible exception of some teenagers i know) and sometimes we just can't do that. when that happens, i would hope that our co-workers could cut us some slack. when my father was dying and i was terrified that i couldn't find a situation for my mother who couldn't be left alone and my mother-in-law who also has alzheimer's had to step up to an increased level of care and we couldn't find the right place for her and the teenager was sneaking out every night to stay at her boyfriend's house and bringing home horrible grades and my husband totalled the car and my dog and my sister-in-law, my oldest friend and my father died all within the same four month period i know i was guilty of being brusque, short or otherwise imperfect more than once or twice. fortunately, my co-workers were aware of the situation and cut me a lot of slack. even the new grads. especially my own orientee.

    i'm not saying lateral violence doesn't exist. but i don't think it exists to the extent that some people seem to think it does, and i'm fairly certain that many of the people who claim they're being "eaten alive" have merely mistaken a preceptor going through a really rough period in her personal life or an educator who is weary of the same mistakes being made over and over without any learning taking place or the frustration of a manager who finds that every new hire wants every weekend and holiday off for bullying. or maybe they just think that every negative interaction or correction is bullying.
    or maybe not. this from the new york times. http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/0...se-is-a-bully/
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    There reason why it is constantly said that "nurses eat their young" is because it is very often the case. And the ones who take offense to it are the ones who do "eat their young". So often as a nurse gets more experienced she gets angry, critical, harsh, cutting, even EVIL. so those of you who are neysayers keep your mouth shut for once and "ASSESS THYSELF'
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    thank you for your input.
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    Sometimes, it takes a *****.
    I mean, some of the patients out there take nurses for granted. Are rude and just have a general lack of humility. They treat you like **** and expect everything in return.
    Sure, nures by their job description are OBLIGATED to provide life saving and other interventions. But really, they don't have to be nice about it.
    I have seen people with total disregard for the medical professionals treating them and, provided that these people are completely competent and are just being ***** because they can, the nurse shouldn't put up with that! She should be a complete and utter ***** to a person with disregard for her! It is HER that is trying to help them, so have respect.
    Note: I'm not saying be a *****, I'm saying don't put up with nonsense. For the most part though, the people putting up with nonsense are the people working in ERs.
    Last edit by rn/writer on Aug 18, '11 : Reason: Changed disallowed word to ***.
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    Quote from ruby vee
    thank you for your input.
    yes, nancy n. i agree with ruby. thank you for your input.
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    remember you were a novice nurse and went to nursing school. new friends new boss new environment we all go thru it. we do eat the young... but dont bite their heads off...
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    "Oh well, nurses will be nurses!" Please! You probably think bullying doesn't REALLY exist in schools either. There are many, many adult nurses that carry this bullying behavior into their careers. A workplace with a predominantly female population is rife with this alpha dog mentality AND often it is directed at younger and/or attractive nurses because they're the ones most vulnerable to it. People that do this need to look at themselves, not the other way around. I wish facilities would be more proactive in addressing this rampant issue.
    I started in healthcare at 19 years old and had a lot of undeserved, self confidence shattering run ins with the "veterans". ("Veterans" sometimes means people that have been there just a year longer than you, nothing to do with age. I've seen some very self entitled new grads who lord their degrees over more seasoned but, newly hired nurses.) I, however, learned to stand my ground and was eventually accepted into the flock. But, the process of proving myself could be hellish. Nurses are people too, you're right. They're people who have bad days and hard home lives BUT I'm sure people aren't griping about one run-in. This is a real issue and sticking your head in the sand doesn't make it OK.

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