Medical terminology according to patients

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I was thinking about times when patients use medical terminology that is a little different than what we would expect. Here are a few examples:

A patient had his "goldbladder" removed.

A patient with CAD s/p heart stent had "heart springs".

I had a patient who had a "cadillac" (cataract) removed from their eye.

One of my favorites: when a patient has "the gout".

Or there are the ever popular names for certain body parts, such as the lady who wanted to make sure her gown was tied so her "goody bits" wouldn't show. I know there are more I have heard but can't think of them know.

Anyone want to share?

One of my family members terms for someone being anorexic is "ana-rec-tic". I always chuckle at this pronunciation b/c this family member is a mental health professional. LOL.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
Ummmm, a CABG is an open heart surgery.

Nope. They don't open the heart. They just sew little blood vessels together outside the heart.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
To use your strange phrase, ACT-SHOO-ALL-LEE:

From the National Institutes of Health website~

https://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/cabg/)

"CABG is the most common type of open-heart surgery in the United States. Doctors called cardiothoracic (KAR-de-o-tho-RAS-ik) surgeons do this surgery."

~and~

Open heart surgery: MedlinePlus Medical Encyclopedia

"Open heart surgery is any surgery where the chest is opened and surgery is done on the heart muscle, valves, arteries, or other parts of the heart (such as the aorta). The term "open" means that the chest is "cut" open."

You're welcome.

I think it must be regional then. I've seen cardiac surgeons fly into fits when some brand new resident refers to a CABG as "open heart" surgery.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
for lady parts:

kitty cat

for male parts:

little soldier

coumadin---coumaTIN

yep, sugar diabetes,

THE---insert your favorite disease eg. the asthma, the kidney infection

Many more, can't think of em....

Male parts they refer to as their Johnson
Specializes in RN, BSN, CHDN.

Down below

Bits and Pieces

Just remembered another one (from my endoscopy days): "I'm here for my colonostopy---colostomy---chroniostomy---craniostomy!!"

Guess if you don't know your head from your......never mind :)

The sugars for diabetes, The vapors for fainting, having a spell for fainting, anaphilapes (pronounced Anna-fill-app-ease) for anaphylaxis, asthma pump for albuterol inhaler. My favorites are when I ask if they're allergic to any medications and they reply "No, just penicillin and codeine." Then why did you say no??

How about the ones who tell you they are allergic to Benadryl (it made me really drowsy)??

And my personal fave, when asking a pre-procedure patient for a colonoscopy if she'd finished all her prep, hearing "oh, no, it gave me diarrhea, so I had to stop taking it!"

Ummmm.....what did she THINK a "bowel cleanse" was going to do to her to prep her for this?!

How about this... I'm allergic to most antibiotics, they give me a yeast infection.

Specializes in Emergency.

Someone I know refers to the "lady parts" as "the growler" I laughed 'till I cried the first time.

I've had several little old ladies refer to their breasts as "The ladies," or "The girls." As in, "Let me get the girls out of the way for you..."

Specializes in ICU.

This is funny because just today in my psych class there were some people doing presentations on chapters out of the book. They butchered all of the medical terms. Some that I thought were common knowledge were in fact not by this group. It was driving me crazy and I so wanted to correct them but kept my mouth shut. But they seriously butchered the anatomy and physiology part of it. Like saying contraception when they meant to say conception. That's kind of an oxymoron I thought. It was bad.

Specializes in Clinical Documentation Specialist, LTC.
How about the ones who tell you they are allergic to Benadryl (it made me really drowsy)??

And my personal fave, when asking a pre-procedure patient for a colonoscopy if she'd finished all her prep, hearing "oh, no, it gave me diarrhea, so I had to stop taking it!"

Ummmm.....what did she THINK a "bowel cleanse" was going to do to her to prep her for this?!

Sounds like someone forgot to educate her on the purpose of the prep ;)

I've heard:

-Girly bits

-Tally Whacker for a certain male part

-Whizzing for wheezing

-High blood and sugar diabetes

-Low blood for anemia

-Prespiring for perspiring

-The vapors for feeling faint or fainting

-Heart palpations for palpitations

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