I couldn't believe what I was hearing! - page 3
by sra27 5,729 Views | 33 Comments
Just when I think I've heard it all from patients' family members... We have a young patient with Downs syndrome on our Med/Surg unit right now; he is very sweet to take care of and has a nice smile but unfortunately he has... Read More
- 19Mar 7, '12 by woohQuote from bostonbakednurseAs long as we continue to excuse poor behavior, we'll continue to have to put up with poor behavior. Sure there's a reason. I'm sure he is sleep deprived. That doesn't give him a right to be a jerk.I do believe that the poor guy was sleep deprived and concerned about his father's welfare. He just couldn't figure out how to say it nicely.
- 3Mar 7, '12 by mercyteapotThe OP wasn't upset because a family member came to her with a concern about his father's need for rest. It was the way he chose to express himself and none of us should be his apologist. I find it ironic that the son chose to point out that it's a public hospital, since public facilities are the very ones that have no discretion as to who they serve. Using public facilities has its advantages; dictating who else uses them isn't one of those. Ideally, the young man would have had his own room, but even if he had, those walls aren't soundproof. It is likely that someone would be disturbed. Yes, it is up to the nursing staff to take every measure possible to ensure that patients are able to get the rest they need, but that's not always possible. When I had my son, a new hospital was being built on the same grounds as the one in which I was recovering. I was awakened from more than one nap by the noise of a piece of heavy machinery. Had I or a family member insist that I be housed where this wouldn't happen, we would have been informed that there was no such room in that hospital and I'd have been invited to recuperate elsewhere, I'm sure. We can only do as much as we can do. That doesn't excuse this guy's bigotry or hateful diatribe. Ugh!
- 3Mar 7, '12 by sra27Just to clarify, they were not roommates; both of the patients were in private rooms about three doors away from each other. I wish I could have moved them further apart per the son's request, but our unit was full.For what it's worth, I work nights and can say that both patients slept all night.
- 4Mar 7, '12 by sharpeimom Guidemy husband is presently in wound care rehab and has a roommate with advanced dementia. this gentleman was formerly a farmer and owned a model dairy farm. he has a son whose first name is the same as my husband's. he was friends with my dad. when i visit, he
doesn't remember that i've been married 25 years, or that my dad died back in the seventies. he does remember my first name and connect me to my dad because i look so much like my dad did. he always wants to know why charlie (my dad) hasn't been in to visit and my/our best answer seems to be that my dad has been busy. reminding him that he died just upsets him even more.
he cries out and screams most of the night and absolutely nothing much settles him back down. nothing! when it gets too bad, herb goes to the living room area and sleeps in a recliner. that's his solution, but several families have complained...a lot. the nurses just remind the relatives that he isn't being that way deliberately. he's 94 and is confused. they do get him up and wheel him out to the nurses' station where they feed him bites of various things ormake him bacon and eggs. some nights, he milks the cows and delivers baby goats all night long.
i know not to call herb between about 8-9 p.m. because that's when his roomie generally falls asleep. i say, "what's the big deal?"
that may be me someday. who knows? i remind myself he isn't being that loud or sundowning on purpose. wish some others could just realize that. it's called simple humanity or christian charity.
- 4Mar 7, '12 by RNsRWeI had planned to type a certain response when I thought that the two patients were roommates. But upon reading the clarification that these patients were THREE ROOMS apart, I can offer no 'benefit of the doubt'.
The patient's son was inexcusable in his complaint. While he may have felt those things, voicing them in that manner was inhuman.
For what it's worth, when I have faced a similar family member problem (usually roommates, though, is the problem), I say something like "Well, there were two choices of roommate for your dad: this fellow, or the demented old man who is constantly incontinent of stool and sometimes has been known to paint with it". Typically they opt to stay where they are
- 1Mar 7, '12 by cheesey_mcflaviusI see this as typical family/visitor behavvior. If you go elsewhere--restaurant, hotel, third world country slave plantation--people don't complain as much as visitors/family complain about nurses. It seems like they intentionally look for things to complain about, and the "uppity" the clientele, the more they complain. I had patients complain my sneakers were making too much noise while walking on carpet in the VIP area. My latest "high school degree doctor" family member complained that I tied her mom's restraints too tight because she almost pulled out her swan line, and I'm not talking moving her arm up a little bit. She was sitting up, and her hand was on the dressing.