I can't confide with my head nurse...

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Jan 31, 2012

it would probably be helpful for all concerned if you could tell her the steps you have taken to make yourself more comfortable-- take inservice education offerings, ask for mentoring, seek feedback from your head nurse (yes, and it sounds as if she has tried to help you and you have refused to let her), asking peers for suggestions-- so she can see you have not just been passively waiting for someone to see that you were unhappy and fix your problems for you.

or...were you just waiting for someone to notice and offer to fix it for you? in that case, perhaps since you won't talk to your head nurse, perhas the don will have some useful suggestions for you, along the line of helping you to plot a plan to help yourself more actively. she will see that this is not your head nurse's fault, if it is as you describe. it is not solely the head nurse's job to make you happy. you have to step forward. give them some hints! "wait to see what happens" can only take you so far. good luck.

chevyv, BSN, RN · Jan 31, 2012

What have you done to develop yourself as a nurse on this unit? When someone is reaching out and you tell them 'nevermind', you are going to continue to have these unresolved issues. Sounds like you're already on the path to being let go and I can't help but wonder if that really matters to you.

Buck up! If you really want this job then figure out why your not growing and fix it! You are correct that you are already being unprofessional. I wouldn't be surprised to find you out of a job in the near future. Many times your job is what you make of it. Have you looked elsewhere? It will be much harder to land a job you want if you have a dismissal on your work record.

mazy · Jan 31, 2012

Your post sounded familiar so I went back and looked at your profile. It seems like you have had an issue dealing with your head nurse for several months now. That you have made some mistakes that you are not accepting responsibility for and that you are not attempting to engage in dialogue with anyone on the unit or even engage in the team effort of your unit.

Also it looks from this post that you go around glaring at your co-workers, walk around pouting, swear under your breath in a foreign language, and are angry, and when people try to talk to about this, you mutter nevermind and walk off...I'm assuming that when you do that you are also glaring, swearing, and pouting.

So I suspect that your head nurse is at the end of her rope and after several months of this behavior has finally decided to go up the chain of command. Actually I commend her for her patience.

I don't understand how it is that you don't understand what your co-workers are going through with you. Your behavior is not acceptable. You need to have a talk with your director about this. You are most likely making all of your co-workers miserable and if you can't get it together, then I think it's time to go.

To be honest, this situation is so bizarre and your attitude is so out of line that I have to wonder if this post or your earlier posts are even true. Because I have a hard time believing anyone would comport themselves so unprofessionally.

hazyblue · Jan 31, 2012

Unprofessional is an understatement. I guess it's time to let go.

hazyblue · Jan 31, 2012

I don't understand how it is that you don't understand what your co-workers are going through with you. Your behavior is not acceptable. You need to have a talk with your director about this. You are most likely making all of your co-workers miserable and if you can't get it together, then I think it's time to go.

Thank you for this point of view. I've always thought that I'm doing my colleagues a favor by not having them mind me. I thought it was effective as they don't look miserable at all.

RNperdiem, RN · Jan 31, 2012

If you are a new nurse, a certain amount of low morale during your first year or so is typical.

If the unhappiness is beginning to be noticed by others, then it can drag down morale for the whole unit.

That can label you as a "problem employee" which will get you noticed by management.

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Jan 31, 2012

this is a cultural issue, i'm sure. more information may be helpful both to you and the management who's been so patient c you.

NoviceRN10 · Jan 31, 2012

Well, glaring at people sure won't endear them to you. I have worked with people of several different cultures and it doesn't matter where you came from, you are either likeable or not. I don't know what you are supposed to say to the nursing director that would get you any help. It seems you need to adjust your attitude and reach out to coworkers and start acting like you want to be there, but if you are miserable maybe you should quit.

sdlane · Jan 31, 2012

Go to work with a smile, be nice to people, and in the mean time start looking for a new job. It's never to late to fix it !!!!!!

dishes, BSN, RN · Feb 1, 2012

hazyblue

Your personal problems are affecting your performance at work and it has come to a point where you need to take steps to deal with your feelings. Your manager is trying to let you know that you do not need to deal with your feelings all alone. If you are uncomfortable discussing your sadness and anger with your employer, seek help from your personal healthcare provider or if your employer has an employee assistance program, contact them, the service is confidential.

dishes

Vespertinas · Feb 1, 2012

You will find freedom in sharing! Your co-workers can be your greatest resources but you're alienating them! Ask questions, smile! It may be hard but you will learn from it and you will make yourself seem more approachable. The alternative is going into a shell with your feelings and being at the point where you are now.

EVERYone has difficulties in one form or another as nurses. If you share your problems in a way that allows others to help you, you won't be making them miserable, ESPECIALLY the ones who ASK if they can help you. NOT fixing the problem IS causing misery.