How to deal with the old/experienced nurses?!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Dec 31, 2012

There is no way in h$!! that I can agree with this. I'm not an RN yet, but nonetheless there are certain truths that transcend professions. Why be kind to someone that goes out of their way to make you miserable? I hate when someone (who is not your boss, just a more experienced person at your job at that) has some ridiculous perceived authority over me. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for listening to what more experienced ppl have to say if they want to "Teach the new guy," but there is no way I'll allow them to disrespect me just because they think they can.
I don't believe in that "Paying your dues BS either." I go to work to do my job-whatever that job may be-PERIOD! Not to feed some coworkers ego by being their whipping boy. Most of them are bitter because they've been doing the same thing for x amt of years because A) they are not competent enough to be promoted or B) they don't have the drive to make the necessary sacrifices to educate themselves into a better position.
OP, if you try to "Kill them with kindness" then, no offense but I hope they run all over you. Again no offense is intended and I hope you fix this, but don't be WEAK, ok?

You have some serious attitude issues that I sincerely hope you can address before you come looking for a job at my institution. When you are a brand new nurse, all of those experienced nurses around you have some authority over you (and some impact on your paycheck, believe it or not.) If you aren't teachable -- because you already know everything, because you don't think we have any authority over you, because you're overly sensitive about being disrespected -- your actual boss will hear about it -- over and over if necessary.

I'm not sure where you get your idea that your future coworkers will be bitter, not competent enough to be promoted or lack drive to educate themselves into "better positions", but I hope you overcome that disability before you're set free on the working world.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Dec 31, 2012

In the OPs case though Ma'am, it doesn't appear that she has any who are interested in helping her out. At best it looks like they just want to ignore her as a whole.

And in the OP's case, it's entirely possible that she's already alienated a whole shift of experienced nurses by treating them with disrespect.

Vishwamitr · Dec 31, 2012

Wow Ruby Vee,

With all that vitriol, you could start your own pest-control company....you just have to spew it everytime you get a contract.

Ruas61, BSN, RN · Dec 31, 2012

Some day, G-d willing, all the newbies will be oldies. What goes around around.

Vishwamitr · Jan 1, 2013

Ruas, whom are you afraid of spelling His name?

metal_m0nk, BSN, RN · Jan 1, 2013

You have some serious attitude issues that I sincerely hope you can address before you come looking for a job at my institution. When you are a brand new nurse, all of those experienced nurses around you have some authority over you (and some impact on your paycheck, believe it or not.) If you aren't teachable -- because you already know everything, because you don't think we have any authority over you, because you're overly sensitive about being disrespected -- your actual boss will hear about it -- over and over if necessary.

He said nothing about being unteachable. In fact, he specifically said that he is all for listening to what more experienced people have to say. However, he also raised a very good point about being wary of being unilaterally disrespected because of an inferior bargaining position.

Is it really the more experienced nurse's charge to vilify and/or jeopardize the livelihood of those who might be overly sensitive about being disrespected? I think it ought to be to show the new employee that they have no reason to be wary. And if that fails, consider another option. But to not even consider putting the new employee at ease - instead to jump straight to labeling them unteachable and going to the boss and threatening the new employee's paycheck speaks volumes about how you perceive your role in all of this. It appears to be an example the kind of abuse of power PRICHARILLAisMISSED was describing.

metal_m0nk, BSN, RN · Jan 1, 2013

Predicting the arrival of Ruby Vee in T minus 10....9.....8....7.....6.....5.....4......3.....2......

Yep, called that one.

Vishwamitr · Jan 1, 2013

Hi Triquee, great post. I love your command over English language.

Ruas61, BSN, RN · Jan 1, 2013

Ruas, whom are you afraid of spelling His name?

None of your business.

Ruas61, BSN, RN · Jan 1, 2013

Ruas, whom are you afraid of spelling His name?

I consider your comment rude frankly.

Editorial Team / Admin · Jan 1, 2013

O.k., stop with the personal attacks and divisive behavior. This thread has been reported a number of times and now Admins have to step in.

This behavior does not help the longevity of this thread, it's rude, and against TOS to continue as you've been doing the past couple pages. Bypass this thread if you can't restrain yourself.

If this continues, we will have no choice but to award points, remove posts and close this thread.

Please, let's make the end of this 2012 thread be nice, o.k.??

Thanks from Admins.

anotherone, BSN, RN · Jan 1, 2013

Hello!
I m a new RN on A med-surge floor and most of my co-workers are old nurses that have been on that floor for years! They don't seem to like me and i have NO idea why! I am a quiet person. I mean i like to socialize but I am not that loud person ( because I still feel a stranger to the floor). Anyways some of them ignore me if I ask a question, others yell at me for the smallest mistakes ( one yelled at me cause I didn't change the NS bag that was good for another 3hours and even tho I put a new bag in the room, she wanted it change) i am nice to them! I try to talk and use humour but most of them just give me the look and roll their eye!
How should I treat them or deal with them?

I am a relatively new nurse and pretty young ( mid 20s) when I started there were A LOT mean, rude experienced nurses. Most of them were in their 20s or 30s. The old ones in age are actually less experienced or nicer on my unit. So it wan't an age issue. But that aside , the way I handle people varies. I feel them out. If they whine and yell about a bag of 300 mls left that is running at 75 an hour or me not being able to give a walkie talkie some daily po med that wasn't up from pharamcy etc. I will look for their errors and point them out. In a sarcastic tone, I might even say, " Sorry you will have to give a pill." You have to feel out the people to do this to, though. Make sure they aren't friends with the manager, etc. After a few times of pointing out their errors, it might work. The other thing is I have seen some new ( older more than younger) nurses become VERY defensive when their errors are pointed out. The same ones will cry when people just let them keep doing things wrong without pointing it out. I welcomed criticism and asked for it.

Next, i talk to some of my coworkers, others I ignore. I will help them with work but I do not talk to them about anything not work related. That should be expected , I am not there to socialize and it shouldn't be taken personally. I prefer actually that most people not come up to talk to me. I don't get upset if they ask questions about work , pt care etc, but I don't want to talk about anything personal. Like my hobbies, their kids, etc. The other thing is, if you have questions and I am busy , i might not be super cheerful. What I did and do in new situations is just sit back and observe. I do not talk to anyone . I go in, do my job, maybe say hello to the friendly ones or the ones who talk to me. but I do not try to come in and act like we are all new best friends. It is a job. If they refuse to help, really refuse, not just too busy to help with your work, maybe go to the manager but otherwise, just go in and do your job and ignore them. Utilize the pharmacist, page the doctor, look up the policy, or ask charge for help before going to co workers, that is what I did in the beginning .