How to deal with a mean Coworker?

[LVNbagel]

i work as a nurse and get a long with all of my coworkers. however, there is one nurse there that hates my guts. i have no clue why because i barely know her and has never done anything to her, I hardly see her because we work different shifts, but when I do talk to her at work, she would either cut me off, ignores me or treat me like i am incompetent. I try to let it go and still smile at her and never once stooped to her level. But today I have had it! I am down with the flu and had to call in. She picked up the phone and hung up on me mid sentence. I called her back, confronted her rudeness and hung up on her, Now i feel immature, Please share some advice on how to deal with this situation.

[xoemmylouox, ASN, RN]

Sometimes you just have to remain professional (to a point) even if they aren't. They aren't going to change.

[gmondina]

She is just insecure and maybe jealous of you. That is good you hung up on her because you gave her a taste of her own medicine. There are people like her, they are miserable.

[Maremma]

You do not want this situation to become critical. It may be necessary to go to your supervisor and make them aware that your coworker is being so hostile to you. You have no idea how far they are going to go to spite you. You have to always be on guard for your license. I am speaking from experience. You do not want to be in the position I was in from a vindictive coworker with "friends" to help them out with their spiteful plans.

If you have already tried just outright confronting her and asking her what it is that you have done to make her so hostile towards you, perhaps request a meeting between a supervisor and the two of you to discuss what the actual issue is that has made her so nasty to you. Sometimes just confronting the problem face to face with a "witness" puts a halt to the bullying. (Which is what this coworker is doing)

Is it possible that she is so nasty to you because of race,sex, religion, age, disability or sexual orientation? That is a whole other ball game that changes it from being rude, unprofessional and childish to outright illegal.

Either way you need to head this off at the pass.

[Elladora]

Stay professional and kill her with kindness. When I started my job, I had a co-worker that was just like the one you describe. Rude and nasty and set on making my life miserable. I stayed calm and professional and was nice to her even when she was horrible to me. A year later she's one of my best co-workers. Turns out she's extremely competent but has a low BS tolerance. Now that we know each other better and know what our skills are (and our personalities) we get along very well.

That said, she might always be a horrible co-worker. If so, just ignore her. Do your job, stay calm and try not to stoop to her level. (Even though sometimes it's REALLY hard!)

[LVN2RNMom, ASN, BSN, LVN]

In my experience, there is always someone whom you will not mesh with. It's ok and from the sound of things, it isn't personal. Who knows what she/he is going thru and you can only assume that she/he isn't a very happy individual on the inside. No matter the reasoning, you owe it to yourself to be yourself at all times regardless of how others behave. You aren't always going to be BFF's with your co-workers and who wants to be? All you need is a few good co-workers so you have others whom understand your current work situation for venting purposes. Try not to take it personally and you have every right not to allow others to step all over you. Good luck and just be yourself. :)

[patekgtech]

Some people are just not "Happy" in any aspect of their lives and they spread their internal anger and frustration like a cancer. When I was a Supervisor working with Teamster Truck Drivers, I was taught to listen to the message and not the words. That way you understood what the negative party was trying to convey without taking anything personally. You might try that method with this Angry person and finish with a "Thank you" or "GOD Bless". The GOD Bless usually screws with their head because they don't how to respond and they feel uncomfortable being ugly to someone who just "Blessed" them. And to tell you the truth that "GOD Bless" can mean a variety of things from "GOD BLess" all the way to "Screw You". If you never say, they will never know. And nobody can complain about it! That also gives you a release, rather than getting Angry with the "Department Cancer". Also document any negative contacts that you have had with this person in case management or HR speaks with you about the person later. Never give anybody your notebook without a subpenea. Once you lose control of it you can't get it back. Get a little Dollar Store Notebook and note the Date, Time and what happened(Details only, no fluff, no opinion just facts). That may save you later if you have a problem with this person hurts you or falsely accuse of misbehavior and you have to defend yourself or patient care issues(Neglect, abuse, false documentation, etc....). I wish you the best and sincerely, GOD BLESS!

[SuzieeQ]

You need to report their behaviour to your supervisor. I would also be taking notes of dates/times/details of incidents with this co-worker just in case some thing comes of it and you need to rely on your documentation.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

Does she treat every body this way, or are you honestly feeling singled out? Killing her with kindness is NOT the answer. Not only isn't it not going not work, no one should have to to do that to gain workplace respect.

I agree with documenting the incidents, but there's no" heading it off at the pass any more." The pass has been reached!

How exactly, did you confront her rudeness? That may have been just what the situation required, if done in a politically correct manner. She is now aware that you won't be putting up with her behavior any more.

[Maevish, ASN, RN]

I have the same problem...this lady was cool with me until nearly 2 years ago when I did something in a code she didn't like and decided to call me out in front of about 4 of my coworkers. I wasn't wrong and asked (as I always do when I do something new) my charge nurse and the doc running the code if I could have done anything better or different, etc. She hated that I was right and that my coworkers were on my side and that was the end of the "friendship".

Since then we're civil/professional, but she'll suck up if she wants something. I spent the bigger part of the next year trying to be extra nice and show her that I wasn't mad at her or anything, but I just made myself look pathetic and so I stopped. After all, there are only about 15 people here that she actually likes and fewer people than that actually genuinely return the sentiment. It's whatever.

[metal_m0nk, BSN, RN]

I have a mental ignore list for people like that. If I absolutely HAVE to interact with them, it is professional, to the point, no embellishments and then back onto the ignore list they go. People only have as much power to affect you as you give them.