Having a problem with the rudeness

Nurses Relations

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Of doctors. of the floor secretaries, of the techs, the transporters, the lab people, the co-workers, and, of course, SOME of the patients (...not all. )

Why is everyone so rude? Why are some of the nurses so rude? Some of them don't even look at me as a new person on the unit. And it's nothing personal -- they do it to everybody. One charge nurse is such a jerk, it's not even funny. I know they're busy, but is it really that hard to make eye contact and smile? I can do that with very little effort myself ...

I had a doc be so rude to me yesterday while we were doing a central line. "Oh, he was just so stressed," the preceptor said ...but I feel no pity for him -- isn't he making a pretty good wage for what he does? Isn't this HIS chosen field?

And the miserable creepy unit secretary. I walked up behind her and just looked at the chart . .she's like, "Don't touch this while I'm working on it." in such a rude way. THIS is what this unit is like.

Are all units like this? Are there any units with normal human beings on them, with camraderie and/or people with senses of humor who are actually welcoming and kind to new grads?

It COULD be so fun if the staff was composed of descent people. That's how I feel. I do have fun with some of the night staff . . . but I just can't work nights all the time.

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Specializes in Home Health Care.

The unit where I'm working (In-patient Geriatric Psych; Osky, Iowa) is WONDERFUL! There is a no tolerence policy in place for abusive/rude behavior to anyone on the unit! .... It's a shame that rudeness is such a wide spread problem. Every hospital should adopt a similar policy.

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Wow, can you seriously perhaps post a copy of this policy, name the hospital or hospital system? I would love to see the wording, and hear about how it is carried out.

Our system, a very large one, does not have such a policy. If they do, it's not enforced by any means at all. And they wonder why they can't keep nurses ...

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Specializes in Emergency.

On my unit, this behavior is not tolerated.

I have experienced it, and will deal with it to a certain extent since everyone (me included) can have a bad day, but if it is consistent, it is dealt with. I had 2 clinical rotations on this unit while I was in school, and there were some staff who were horribly rude and nasty, but they had been fired or quit by the time I started there as a nurse. There are still a few "toxic" people there, but while they are not great coworkers, they are very good with the pts, so I try to let it roll off my back. One person, a nursing assistant, is notoriously rude to other staff, and can be very disrespectful sometimes. I had a difficult time with it at first, but after seeing her with her pts and getting to know her better I have come to realize it is just how she is. I even joke with her about it sometimes. She may not always be polite, but if I really need her for an emergency, etc. she is there. She is great with the pts and family (even the difficult ones, and gets lots of compliments from them). Lately on my shift, we have been very short staffed all around, and tempers will flare. In general though, our unit is a close knit family, and we will always help each other out if we can. I consider myself lucky to be here.

I have experienced units like you have described, and all I can say is that there is not enough money in the world for me to work on a unit like that.

Good coworkers do exist, although there will always be people you don't get along with.

If it is truly unbearable for you, look around for other options. You will find your place.

Amy

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Specializes in cardiac/critical care/ informatics.

Yes there are plenty of units with nice people on them. But I would have to say if the majority of a unit is grumpy than it is a unit management problem that needs to be dealt with, and that is easier said than done.

Our hospital also has policy against rude behavior.

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Specializes in Did the job hop, now in MS. Not Bad!!!!!.

Ditto Sound of Music. I'm a new grad (bout 2 months now) and hear constantly how everyone there did their clinicals or externed or interned on the unit or in that hospital and went to the 2 local comm colleges/tech schools nearby.

I did not and they make me feel marginalized and despised w/ every glance (if they even deign to look my way) or when they finally decide to speak to me and my questions, which I usually have to ask 3-4 times before I get a response.

I feel your pain hun, but I guess this is what is meant by "nurses eat their young", "baptism by fire" and other wonderful witticisms???

Must there be a pecking order? I've earned my RN-BSN and it wasn't an easy road. I know we all have bad days. But go fig, the ONE day I let my smile down, I get accused of being "bitchy" or "freaking out" .

C'mon vets, lay off us newbies. You were once there too!

Guess I needed to vent. Sorry all. I'm so torn. I did work so hard, and I get treated like such garbage at work. And I continue to push myself. But is it worth it? What if I leave only to find the same thing elsewhere yet have to start all over again?

P.S. I work on an Oncology/Renal/Med-Surg unit. It is the sickest of the sick and the most incredibly difficult unit to start on I'm told.

Chloe

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I'm a new grad RN and I'm working med/surg right now and I can't stand it!

Yes, rudeness is on the floor I work also...... I basically mirror back to my co-workers what I'm given, otherwise this is what you'll hear..."why are you so damn happy?"

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Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

Here's my observation...I have noticed that rude people target certain individuals, while leaving other persons alone. Unfortunately, it's all about perception. If you are perceived as one who will not stand up to the rudeness, you'll be targeted for further harassment. If you're perceived as someone who will put up resistance and not allow anyone to run over you, then the people will quickly know to leave you alone.

Rudeness is a crime of opportunity. People tend to pick the most opportune targets: those who are less likely to respond in a defensive manner to the bad behavior. Also, if nothing is done, the rude person will continue his/her rampage, because he/she knows that he/she can get away with it.

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Specializes in Did the job hop, now in MS. Not Bad!!!!!.

Rudeness is a crime of opportunity. People tend to pick the most opportune targets: those who are less likely to respond in a defensive manner to the bad behavior. Also, if nothing is done, the rude person will continue his/her rampage, because he/she knows that he/she can get away with it.

Sounds like we're damned if we stand up for ourselves, and damned if we allow ourselves to get trodden upon. What do you suggest instead?

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Try this approach. Everytime you encounter this behavior, say "Is something wrong, you seem so upset? or distracted?" Or if there is the dirty look, "What's wrong? You look angry?" "Can I help?"

By confronting the behavior each time it displays itself, you are eventually going to make the person aware that their bad side is showing. If they have any intuition, they might catch on and take the repeated hints. You most likely are not the only one who notices this. Vocalizing about it reinforces the instance in the mind of whoever does the other's performance review, should they be present. You deserve a more pleasant working atmosphere. This might help bring it about. If the person explodes at you, then by all means tell them what their behavior is doing in terms of the unit morale. They are not displaying good team behavior by making the unit tense and miserable. If they continue, you can make a comment to the nurse manager.

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Specializes in Did the job hop, now in MS. Not Bad!!!!!.
Try this approach. Everytime you encounter this behavior, say "Is something wrong, you seem so upset? or distracted?" Or if there is the dirty look, "What's wrong? You look angry?" "Can I help?"

By confronting the behavior each time it displays itself, you are eventually going to make the person aware that their bad side is showing. If they have any intuition, they might catch on and take the repeated hints. You most likely are not the only one who notices this. Vocalizing about it reinforces the instance in the mind of whoever does the other's performance review, should they be present. You deserve a more pleasant working atmosphere. This might help bring it about. If the person explodes at you, then by all means tell them what their behavior is doing in terms of the unit morale. They are not displaying good team behavior by making the unit tense and miserable. If they continue, you can make a comment to the nurse manager.

Sounds like good advice! I feel as though I have tried, but will continue to keep the positive flair and hope that they eventually come around. I feel less paranoid, that some other newbies that aren't new grads, just new to the unit, have shared w/ me their own feelings similar to my own. Cross your fingers for us! We are very few and get this! 4 nurses have left the unit in the time I've been there. Just don't know if they were canned or left of their own accord.

Chloe

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I think a lot of the time, rudeness is in the ear of the beholder.

I have had to fine tune my "ear" so as not to be quite so sensitive to (in the sense of perceptive of) rudeness.

I try to overlook it and I try not to emit it.

Sometimes though, it is just there, it is a pain in the neck, and I smile, ignore it and I silently plan that when I get home I will have a little glass of wine. If I still remember it when I get home, I have the wine.

Most of the rudeness in my life comes from family members. Frankly, they have been challenging enough that it is the rare patient, fellow nurse, fellow employee or physician that bothers me.

There are some benefits to having come from dysfunction. :mad:

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