Have you ever shed tears in front of a patient or a patient's family.

Nurses Relations

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I'm not talking about all-out sobbing, body-wracking crying. I'm just saying tears welling up and possibly spilling over without the accompanying grimace.

Is that appropriate, inappropriate?

If you have, how did the patients/family members/coworkers react? How did you feel about your own behavior?

Specializes in ER.

Ok. I guess I'm different. And its not intentional. Sometimes I wish I could cry so the family would know I truly do care. But I can't. Something in me says I have to be the strong, solid one. I stand there with an arm around the family member and a box of Kleenex and will sell my soul to do for them what they need, but I CANNOT cry. Same way when someone in my family dies. I'm the one taking care of everyone else and not letting myself go. Taking care of my dad, my mom, my siblings...meeting with the funeral director, etc. But I just don't cry.

But the day I got a phone call that my dog died? Absolutely could not hold it together at work. Went to the bathroom and cried like a baby. Back to the job, thought I had it together. Went into a room to discharge a pt with a sprained ankle and broke down in front of them. Very unprofessional, I know. Fortunately, they were dog lovers and had recently lost an 15 year companion. So they didn't complain. So anyone want to analyze this and tell me what the heck is wrong with me??

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Specializes in med/surg, tele, OB.

My first IUFD... couldn't help but have tears running down my face as I wheeled her out of the hospital. She was holding a stuffed animal crying... I just cried with her. I don't know if it's right or wrong, but it's who I am. I feel and I cry- just usually not in front of the patients.

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Specializes in Pediatrics.

I've cried several times with patients and their families...even sometimes when patients are being discharged home and they are thanking me i have tears running down my face. One situation i remember was an older man in his 70's dx with small cell lung cancer 1 week before hospitalization. His LOC was starting to decrease but he could always remember my name ( which really touched me). His wife of over 50 years was always at his beside. One morning she went to pick her children up from the airport because they had flown in to say their goodbyes to their dad. Just as his wife left to pick up her children, the pt. breathed his last breathe in my arms. I sat there and held his hand crying until his wife and kids arrived..then I sat in the room with them and his wife hugged me and cryed for over an hour. This man still brings tears to my eyes today :cry:

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Specializes in Ante-Intra-Postpartum, Post Gyne.

I teared up at my first full term Fetal Demise. I think it was totally appropriate.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, LTC/Geriatric.

Yep, I've cried in front of families.

Heck, I'm crying at reading this thread. Some very touching storiies.

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Specializes in chemical dependency detox/psych.
I've cried several times with patients and their families...even sometimes when patients are being discharged home and they are thanking me i have tears running down my face. One situation i remember was an older man in his 70's dx with small cell lung cancer 1 week before hospitalization. His LOC was starting to decrease but he could always remember my name ( which really touched me). His wife of over 50 years was always at his beside. One morning she went to pick her children up from the airport because they had flown in to say their goodbyes to their dad. Just as his wife left to pick up her children, the pt. breathed his last breathe in my arms. I sat there and held his hand crying until his wife and kids arrived..then I sat in the room with them and his wife hugged me and cryed for over an hour. This man still brings tears to my eyes today :cry:

This happened so many times in my oncology internship. It always seemed like they would wait until their loved ones left, and then would let go and pass away. We would talk about it a lot in the nurses break area. It's almost like they want to spare their loved ones the sight of them taking their last agonal breaths.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Academics.
This happened so many times in my oncology internship. It always seemed like they would wait until their loved ones left, and then would let go and pass away. We would talk about it a lot in the nurses break area. It's almost like they want to spare their loved ones the sight of them taking their last agonal breaths.

My brother has lung cancer, and he found a song called "Softly, As I Leave You" that he played for his wife to express his feelings when he couldn't find the words to say what he wanted to say.

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I'm not even out of nursing school yet and I've teared up at the hospital in front of my patient last semester. She was a CHF pt who was being placed into end-of-life care (different floor of the hospital). It was already hard to work around her because my grandfather died in much the same way... the sound of her breathing brought me right back to his bedside, four years earlier.

A couple of my fellow students helped me wheel her bed down to the other floor and get her in place in her new room. Everyone else walked out of the room, leaving me squeezing her hand (hand squeezes comforted her, since her LOC was a little off d/t low O2). She looked up at me and said goodbye, and I thanked her for letting me be my patient, which brought tears to my eyes. I was pretty quiet around my fellow students for the rest of the day, that's for sure!

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So touching, thank you all for sharing

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Specializes in neuro/ortho med surge 4.

I have cried quite a few times in front of families and quite a few times in private. I don't remember all of the instances but I know they all didn't invovle a patient demise. Being a nurse can break your heart. I will never forget this lady patient I had who had just been put on palliative care. Her husband of 60 years started to sing hymns to her in a soft voice. I had to leave that room quickly.

I have been told "I will get used to it". I sincerely hope I never get "used to it".

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Specializes in Emergency Midwifery.

Yes a few times but the one that really comes to mind is......

My dad had just passed away after a very short illness and I was in my first week back at work - I am not sure how I got allocated the end stage terminal patient of a family I knew very well. I went to school with the children and it was their dad.

I was in the room with them when he slipped away. :crying2:

I shed a few tears - and a lot more later when I was able to make my exit. I remember the doctor giving me an enormous hug (in fact the same doctor had cared for both of these wonderful men).

One of my more human moments. :redpinkhe

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Specializes in Postpartum, L&D, Mother-Baby.

Funny running across this--I just did last night! My patient had a baby after loosing one 12 years ago and having an oophrectomy just 1 month prior to conceiving! When they bought the baby to her room and put him in her arms, I was there. She looked at him, then she began describing this headache she was experiencing. I stepped out of the room to get her some meds and when I came back to the room, she was crying. I asked if her pain was unbearable at that point and if this was the reason she was crying. "No," she replied, "just looking at the baby gets me all emotional." I started welling up.....

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