Bullying at work, far commute... what to do??

Hopefulnursebetty · Nov 5, 2013

Wow! Clearly, there is favoritism and I see that a lot at work. I hope you find a job soon

Dianas1086 · Nov 5, 2013

I am so sorry this is happening to you. Night shift is not for everyone. Bullying is never right.
If you are spending upwards of $700 a month on transportation, then it really would be not too much of a pay cut to make less money. You are coming up on a year of experience. With a history in psych, you could do a whole lot with that.
Are there any mental health centers, the VA, group pych residential homes, psych daycare centers/day programs? Skilled nursing that has a day program--has openings for case managers? Detox clinics? These are all within the realm of your psych experience, and would have more day hours.
You could also try Urgent care, the local schools, or an MD office.
The only other thought would be if a local hospital has a weekend only option. The pay would be less, however, sometimes has differentials. And maybe if you just work Fri/Sat/Sun nights, (or eves or days) then you would have all week.
Good luck in your endevours. Sometimes, what seems like less money is in the long run better for your health.
As a complete aside, if you make less money, would it then help you to apply for rental assistance, food stamps, health insurance and the like? If you are a single mother this also could be an option.

I agree with trying to find something closer which will enable you to save money on commute and might make up for the pay cut. Also no amount of $$$ is worth happiness and time with your daughter. Maybe ask your bf to try to find more work so you won't have so much pressure to bring in the $. Bullying sucks but I think its one of many problems causing your unhappiness. Keep your head up and something better will come up.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Nov 5, 2013

Hello fellow Nurses!
I am having a dilemma. I need your advice please. I am working for a hospital 2.5 hours away from home (long island), on a unit I thought I liked (psych) and I am currently being bullied by some staff. I never thought I would feel nervous and anxious to go to work. I cry a lot now and am irritable at home. I have never worked a night shift before taking this shift and that is taking a toll on me physically. I have been ill for a few months now since I started. I finally went to the doctor and they are testing me for lupus. The doctor told me flat out "you need to find another job very soon." I am exhausted 24/7 and don't want to do anything on my days off. I don't want to leave the house (depressed). I have not been diagnosed with depression and when I spoke with my doctor she said this is related to work. I will make 1 year of having nursing experience in 2 weeks.
I have interviewed at other facilities but don't like the pay cut some city hospitals offer (almost $10/hour less, still working nights). My boyfriend is supportive but I am the bread-winner. He works as a temp at a union company. I have a daughter who complains about not seeing me and it just breaks my heart. I leave my house aroung 4pm to be at work at 7pm, I have to take 2 buses, 2 trains and a cab, totaling about $650-$700/monthly.
One of the nurses on my unit has made me cry a few times. She is just nasty to me. I don't know what to do. I desperately want to change units and get something closer but the market is so bad right now and I don't want to make another decision regarding work.
I'm sorry for ranting and venting, I just don't know what to do. This is making question nursing and that breaks my heart because I absolutely LOVE taking care of my patients.

Your header screams "Bullying at work," but I didn't read anything about bullying. The fact that you seem to be depressed seems to be more to the point. One of the nurses you work with "making you cry" probably has more to do with YOU than with her, and that isn't bullying. Look into your health first.

JesusKeepMe · Nov 5, 2013

Some nurses just need to leave the profession. Whats dont they get about the word TEAM and WORK? When I work, I work with a team, childish behavior is left outside. I dont have to like you, but I will work with you to provide outstanding care to our pts, and have an awesome shift. This seems like a no brainet, why cant we all just be adults? Why does this dirtbag go out of her way to make your shift a living hell? UGH! And you make that super long, super expensive commute to deal with that? Oh no. The situation is obviously stressing you to the max. Its time to give that job the dueces, and take your skills elsewhere.

Perhaps you could obtain a per diem position at a few places until you get a fulltime position. How about looking at nurse staffing agencies in your area, they may be able to find you some work. You have options, don't limit yourself, and dont let those old miserable dirtbags steal your joy. If you show them they:re getting to you, the will keep coming. Smile, they hate that.

bluemorningglory · Nov 5, 2013

I only read the OP quickly but as someone who has btdt, lose the boyfriend. "Supportive" does not equal you as a breadwinner:/

DawnJ · Nov 6, 2013

$700 a month in transportation costs is the same as a car would cost and you wouldn't just be using it to get to work. But it sounds like the bullying is the bigger problem.

Ruby Vee, BSN · Nov 6, 2013

$700 a month in transportation costs is the same as a car would cost and you wouldn't just be using it to get to work. But it sounds like the bullying is the bigger problem.

I didn't see bullying. One nurse "made her cry" and "is nasty to her." But the OP sounds as if she's very depressed and if that is the case, she might not be far from crying anyway. I didn't see any bullying behavior described.

"Being nasty to me" and "making me cry" could be nothing more than failure to give an enthusiastic enough greeting when the OP arrives at work in the morning. Or it could be bullying, but the point is, behavior wasn't described. I don't think "making me cry" is enough information to decide the other nurse is a bully. It sounds more like the OP is just not coping.

NS81 · Nov 9, 2013

I didn't see bullying. One nurse "made her cry" and "is nasty to her." But the OP sounds as if she's very depressed and if that is the case she might not be far from crying anyway. I didn't see any bullying behavior described. "Being nasty to me" and "making me cry" could be nothing more than failure to give an enthusiastic enough greeting when the OP arrives at work in the morning. Or it could be bullying, but the point is, behavior wasn't described. I don't think "making me cry" is enough information to decide the other nurse is a bully. It sounds more like the OP is just not coping.[/quote']
Hi Ruby Vee, I'm not depressed. It's the way I'm being treated by the other nurses. I am a psychiatric nurse and know the signs of depression. Anyone being mistreated and bullied at work is not acceptable. Other co-workers have told me first hand that she bullies new nurses. Not everyone reacts to situations the same way. I felt overwhelmed and belittled in front of other staff therefore, I reacted by crying. Perhaps I didn't explain the bullying in detail but nobody should belittle you, yell at you, and roll their eyes every time you arrive at work.
Thank you to everyone else who posted!

NS81 · Nov 9, 2013

Some nurses just need to leave the profession. Whats dont they get about the word TEAM and WORK? When I work I work with a team, childish behavior is left outside. I dont have to like you, but I will work with you to provide outstanding care to our pts, and have an awesome shift. This seems like a no brainet, why cant we all just be adults? Why does this dirtbag go out of her way to make your shift a living hell? UGH! And you make that super long, super expensive commute to deal with that? Oh no. The situation is obviously stressing you to the max. Its time to give that job the dueces, and take your skills elsewhere. Perhaps you could obtain a per diem position at a few places until you get a fulltime position. How about looking at nurse staffing agencies in your area, they may be able to find you some work. You have options, don't limit yourself, and dont let those old miserable dirtbags steal your joy. If you show them they:re getting to you, the will keep coming. Smile, they hate that.[/quote']
Hi JesusKeepMe, thank you! I completely agree with you. I don't understand why people can't act like adults especially at the work place. I have started looking. I hope to find something soon.

T-Bird78 · Nov 10, 2013

Find a job closer to home. I had a job with a great university health system but it was a 90-minute commute and I was being bullied by a lower-rank coworker with less experience in that specialty than I had. She even told the doctor that if his exam room wasn't stocked it was because I didn't do it right (and she was the one responsible for stocking ALL the exam rooms, especially because I closed and ran the autoclave and she opened and had to empty the autoclave and stock rooms). I left and the manager and all the docs knew why I left, they mentioned the bully by name, but wouldn't do anything about her. I'm much happier and closer to home--and for the same pay!

Overland1, RN · Nov 10, 2013

Find a job closer to home. I had a job with a great university health system but it was a 90-minute commute and I was being bullied by a lower-rank coworker with less experience in that specialty than I had. She even told the doctor that if his exam room wasn't stocked it was because I didn't do it right (and she was the one responsible for stocking ALL the exam rooms, especially because I closed and ran the autoclave and she opened and had to empty the autoclave and stock rooms). I left and the manager and all the docs knew why I left, they mentioned the bully by name, but wouldn't do anything about her. I'm much happier and closer to home--and for the same pay!

That is not "bullying"; that is lying, plain and simple. Any facility that tolerates such behavior is not worthy of good, honest staff.