Night shifts hard with family - page 2

Hi! I am a new grad that was a LPN before I became an RN. Well, I have recently started in the NICU, which I feel is my passion, but I am working nights. Well, my baby as well as my husband are not... Read More

  1. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from CHATSDALE
    i can see both sides of the coin here, your mgr canot pass by other nurses who may also have reasons to go to days
    i hope that you find a job that you enjoy and that lets you and your family will have a good life
    I don't think the manager should bypass other nurses - I just think, with the shortage of nurses and all, that a way for part-time jobs could be made.

    Maybe because I made the choice to only work part-time when my son was born 5 years ago and my manager agreed - plus we are hurting for nurses so any help is still help.

    steph
  2. by   Jolie
    Quote from CHATSDALE
    i can see both sides of the coin here, your mgr canot pass by other nurses who may also have reasons to go to days
    i hope that you find a job that you enjoy and that lets you and your family will have a good life
    I agree, the nurse manager can't pass over staff members with more seniority who are also waiting for day shift. But I don't quite get the manager's unwillingness to allow the OP to cut back to PT. Seems like the unit would be better served by a part-time employee than one who is otherwise forced to quit.
  3. by   RN_Amanda
    Well, my manager says that I cannot do PT because I am a new grad and the only way for me to get experience is to work FT. yeah I agree that those with seniority should get days first but she could have at least let me do PT. I told her if I could not do one or the other I wouldhave to pursue other options. It makes me sad, but I have to put my family first
  4. by   fakebee
    :spin: My guess is that your hospital has the policy that you must have a year's experience before going part time and your manager has no leeway
    in this matter. It's a liability thing. Hope you find the flexibility you need.
  5. by   RainDreamer
    That stinks that your manager is being so unreasonable. I agree with the others in that it would better serve her and the unit to allow you to go to PT rather than lose you altogether. I mean it's only 1 less day, so it'll just take you a little bit longer to gain more experience than maybe some of the other new grads. It sounds to me like that's just a line of bull and she's using that as an excuse to keep you FT.

    But even if she did offer you PT, would you still want to do 2 nights a week? It sounds like you want every night to spend with your family ..... and in that case it would be best to keep looking for a day shift position and give your manager your notice. You'll get back to the NICU eventually. Good luck to you!
  6. by   BittyBabyGrower
    I wouldn't be so fast to blame the manager....in my unit everything goes thru human resources and the managers really don't have a choice. And if I were waiting for a PT position or a day position and I was passed up, I'd be pretty ticked.

    Do you work 3-12's? Could you work Fri-sat-sun? I worked nights after I had my kids....yeah, they didn't sleep as well for DH, but I ran with little sleep so he could to LOL I didn't want them in daycare until they were about 3 and I couldn't cut my hours or move to a different shift because nothing was available.

    Does your postpartum have day positions available? Could you move there?
  7. by   CHATSDALE
    i didn't mean anything adverse on previous post...
    sometimes openings are not there and sometimes there are guidelines over which the nm has no control
    in nursing there is someone for whom your current job works out and there is a job for you that will enable you to be there for family and still use the skills that you work so hard to master
  8. by   kitty29
    Honestly nights are hard; and if you do not have support you probally shouldn't be working them.

    But...to say "You can work NICU anytime?" - if this is your passion ...well...maybe someone (hubby) is being selfish? It take many years to become a great NICU nurse...don't just toss it away.
  9. by   RN_Amanda
    Well, I dont want to put blame on my hubby. yes, he does struggle some with the baby at night, but he did say that I could do what I wanted, and he would work through it. However, me and my baby are so close, we even sleep together. And when I miss her at night I also have to sleep through the day with her at home which is hard to do. I am not saying that others cannot do it, I just am not ready to give up that time that we have together at night. I know how fast she has already grown, I am just afraid I will regret missing out while she is so little.
  10. by   Gompers
    Believe me, I understand about wanting to spend time at home with your baby - I am having a hard time myself with the fact that my maternity leave is almost over.

    But to be fair, when you were hired it was for full-time nights, right? A lot of time and money goes into training new employees, so I wouldn't expect your manager to be flexible at this point when you knew going into the job that it was for full-time nights. A manager shouldn't be expected to bend the rules and cut into waiting lists. It is very common for new grads, especially in an ICU setting, to have to work full-time for the first year. It really does make a difference in the learning curve. And it's also very common to have to work nights at the beginning of one's nursing career - it's all about supply and demand. There will always be more people who want to work dayshift than there will be dayshift positions. Everyone has their own reasons for needing to work FT, PT, PRN, days, PMs, nights. The nurses who have the most seniority will almost always get first dibs on new positions because they have "done their time" basically and have shown a committment to the unit. The only time I have seen the rules bent to get newer employees onto day shift or part-time have been times when it's a health-related issue, which requires yearly doctor's notes.

    I hope you find what you are looking for - don't give up! On one hand, getting your foot in the NICU door now means it'll be that much sooner that you can go to day shift...but on the other hand, your baby probably won't be a baby anymore by the time that happens. In that case, a dayshift job in home health or a clinic might work better for you right now so you don't miss out on the co-sleeping and breastfeeding that is so important to you at this time. Just keep your eyes open, the resumes coming, and hopefully you'll find something that fits both your career goals and your family. Good luck!
  11. by   RainDreamer
    Even if you worked full time days though, you'd still be away from the baby ALL day. Either way it's going to be hard. It sounds like the thing that you really want is to either work part time or not at all. Full time is full time regardless of days or nights. I hope you find something that works for you and your family.
  12. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from RN_Amanda
    Well, my manager says that I cannot do PT because I am a new grad and the only way for me to get experience is to work FT. yeah I agree that those with seniority should get days first but she could have at least let me do PT. I told her if I could not do one or the other I wouldhave to pursue other options. It makes me sad, but I have to put my family first
    That doesn't make any sense - part time vs. full time isn't that much of a difference when it comes to learning your job but it means a great deal to you, your baby and your husband.

    There have been many articles written recently about how companies are working hard to accomodate working mothers and being more flexible is one. Making room for part-time workers or job sharing. It is the way of the future - your manager just hasn't seen the light. Or Human Resources. Maybe if more women spoke up things would change where you work too.

    Even if you signed on for full time when you started, LIFE happens. Things can change. That doesn't make you a bad employee.

    This frustrates me . . .

    steph
  13. by   RN_Amanda
    Thanks Stevielynn for understanding.
    I never said I thought that I should be switched to days ahead of others, but I just cannot wait that long right now. My manager assured me that this would not negatively affect any future hire ons and she understands my life situation right now. I interviewed for peds home health yesterday and am excited about that. Anyways, my manager told me that she understands how NICU is my passion and with their future growth she is sure I can come back when it better suites my family.
    I know the hours away are the same working days vs nights, but there is something different about being away from my baby all night then all day.

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