You know you're a neuro nurse if.....

[Elenaster]

I was inspired by the looonngggg "you know you're a nurse if..." thread on the Nursing Humor forum, and thought we could do one based on our specialty. Here's a few I came up with and please feel free to add on!

You know you're a Neuro nurse if:

Your favorite patient is a GCS=3 and an orphan.

Along with standing orders for Dilantin and Decadron, you also have orders for restraints and Propofol.

If anyone in your family hits their head, the first thing you do is grab a penlight and check their pupils.

Every time you get a bad headache, you're sure you've either had an aneurysm rupture or have got a brain tumor.

You've ever referred to visiting hours as "inspection."

You give out points for creativity on patients that find new ways to swear at you.

You've ever had a patient proposition you or make sexually explicit comments right in front of his 80-year-old grandmother.

You've given a patient a 6 on motor (follows commands) when they stuck up both of their middle fingers at you when you asked them to "hold up two fingers."

You've heard your unit referred to as the "vegetable patch."

You wish you had a dollar for everytime you've heard from another nurse, "Neuro! I HATE neuro!"

[mskate]

Atropine works based on a vagus nerve response with your parasympathetic nervous system which will be gone with a herniation. Hit 'em hard with epi and vaso - although, once you have a full, real herniation - probably better to reach for the phone to call the organ donor team!!

[Nccity2002, MSN, RN]

When in response to "show me two finger" , you get the middle finger...:nono:

[matto]

you know you're a neuro nurse when....

you spend half your time waking a sedated pt to do their GCS etc and the other half sedating them and telling them to go back to sleep...its a vicious cycle.

[JoeCrow]

your patient has a GCS of 15 but you still get an order for restraints and a foley catheter

you've actually spent time finding little spots where you can see your pt but they cannot see you (so you know they are safe but will not yell at you)

you've ever discussed with teammates who will play the roles of good cop and bad cop

you've ever gotten applause or oohs and ahhs from family members when doing a neurocheck (they always seem to think they are brain dead or something)

you've ever been scolded by a family when the pt coughed or started seizing and you didn't come quick enough (as if there was anything you could do)

you've ever struggled with a two patient assignment when one of them was a "celestial discharge"

you've ever secretly laughed at a family's anthropomorphism of their brain dead patient

[MeTheRN, BSN, MSN, RN]

You're cautious about how much you strain when you defecate because you don't want to end up in a neuro ICU

[fiveofpeep]

your patient has a GCS of 15 but you still get an order for restraints and a foley catheter

you've actually spent time finding little spots where you can see your pt but they cannot see you (so you know they are safe but will not yell at you)

story of my life ^

[GrnHonu99, RN]

if you have ever wanted to make a recording of yourself saying:

it's ok..just go, you have a foley!

or youve said more than once, "ok go ahead, pull it out, im sure you'll only do it once"

or..."if you pull out the foley you are going to break your member and it will never work again:)"

Don't touch that, you'll get an infection!

No! I will not give you scissors to cut the restraints off.

When youve made the pt mad so you leave, come back in and reintroduce yourself as another nurse and all is well in neuro land...jeez that evil jane, i know shes awful...:)

Your favorite pt is vented, sedated, tied down with no family.

When you want to throw a chart at a resident when a neuro pt comes back from the OR with a ******* 20 g PIV in their forearm!!! REALLY!?

or..if you;ve ever walked into a room where a crazy neuro pt had escaped restraints, disconnected the EVD at the port and is now sipping it like a straw....even grins at you and says MMMMMMM:) (those are two drink days LOL)

[mommyx1]

When the offgoing nurse mentions that the patients blood pressure has suddenly shot up, and you ask if they've gotten an order for a vasopressor yet:)

When being told that the patient is walking and talking you are disappointed.

When preparing to insert an NGT into a frontal lobe patient, you go ahead and grab the patient a face mask. (spit in the face, anyone?)

[RachelRN2B]

You know your a neuro nurse when:

you start doing neuro checks to your grandmother at the drop of a hat.

you walk to the room slowly when someone yells, "pt in __ is seizing"

learn to juggle IV lines and precarious sheaths with pressure bags instead of balls.

[fiveofpeep]

you walk to the room slowly when someone yells, "pt in __ is seizing"

So true! :lol2:

[cheesey_mcflavius]

You know you're a neuro nurse when...temp = 103, wbc = 21, pt is having course crackles, and coughing up yellowish phlegm, and doctors diagnose it as neurogenic fever while waiting 3 days to show positive cultures.

[Joe V]

An oldie but I was LOL