The Great Double Standard? - page 2

I would like opinions from the rest of you guys. It seems everywhere I turn that there is this double standard that men nurses should not be providing care for any of women's intimate needs. I am... Read More

  1. by   Ruby Vee
    [font="comic sans ms"]i'm not a male nurse, but my husband is. i worked with him for 8 years before we married, and he consistently refused to take care of female patients "within my dating range." (roughly 10 years older than and 10 years younger than him.) if he did have to take care of a female in that age range or younger, he had a female nurse do the "intimate care" or had a female nurse, doctor, rt, cna or whoever present while he did it. he says it's just too easy to be accused of something inappropriate and too difficult defending against it.

    it seems to be that males are less likely to accuse female nurse of inappropriate behavior -- and probably more likely to initiate the inappropriate behavior themselves, if my experience is any guide.
  2. by   gonzo1
    In our ER the female nurses help the male nurses with intimate things so that there is no chance the male nurse can be accused of anything. This is a real problem that I am happy helping them with. And it can happen to anyone. The other day I and a female NP had to do a pelvic on a pt and she accused the 2 of us (can you imagine) of touching her innapropriately. Don't want that to happen to any of our guys if we can help it. Unfortunately we live in a real sick and sue happy society. The guys reciprocate by taking care of our mean drunks who try to feel us up.
  3. by   karenG
    we are nurses and yes, in a perfect world we would have equity. But we dont have a perfect world...........

    some women are uncomfortable with the idea of a nurse who is a man.. and dont want a man anywhere near them when they are ill. Men dont seem to the same issues though I have met men who dont want a male nurse.. they seem to have other issues.

    I do have a friend who was accused of rape by a patient who felt men should not be nurses and decided to 'get rid' of him by accusing him of rape. it was a very uncomfortable time ( it was fairly obvious what she was doing and we didnt ever believe her.. he was never in a postion to have done anything!) and he got suspended....he was cleared and she apologied but made me think.

    as a female nurse practitioner I am expected to do all sorts of things.. but I dont tend to do 'mens stuff'.......mainly because men have a choice about who examines them and they choose not let me....... can be funny when they come in and see I am a woman. and then blush and talk about a mole on their neck......and ask who is the best person to see about 'downbelow'. But its a choice they have, and I am happy to allow that choice.

    you need to be concious that there will be limitations on your practice as a nurse because of the patients we see and care for......thats what makes the job interesting. you need be aware of the need to protect yourself .. being accused of rape is not funny.

    Karen
  4. by   Works2xs
    Every time I see this sort of thread open up, there is always opinion on what amounts to two different subjects.

    Subject one: What the patient wants - yea, verily. If a patient is more comfortable with a nurse of the same sex, then by all means, accommodete the patient's needs. I don't think that I've seen too many responses that say that the patient doesn't get what they want in terms of the gender of the provider.

    Subject two: Management's response to assignment of staff to patients based solely on gender. This is the area that is going to generate some issues. Unlike "subject one" this proclivity to single out men for perfroming (or not performing) a particular task in nursing based on their chromosomes would, in any other career field, would be grounds for a discrimination suit.

    I think we can agree that the patient's desires come out on top regardless of how reasonable we (the nursing staff) might view that request. Even if it bucks the current zeit geist for gender relations, we are bound by "patient bill of rights" to respond accordingly to their request. Anyone disagree?

    Where I get rubbed the wrong way is when coworkers, supervisors, managers make assignments, changes, etc. based solely on the gender of the people providing the care and nothing at all on what the stated preferences of the patient might be.

    Don't shut me out of L&D for no other reason than I'm a man. And don't send all your heavy lifts either. It only takes about 50 lbs to blow a disk (according to my friends at OSHA) so don't think you can simply substitutes me for a lifting job that would otherwise take 2 lady nurses. Guess what.. the same lift would require 2 guys as well.

    Making allowances for stated patient preferences is one thing. Making assignments or job offers based on hospital admin/unit manager/supervisor preferences is quite another.

    As with any discriminatory practice, it is incumbent on those who are in a position to propagate such injustice to recognize and respond accordingly to any workplace practice that might be in error. It has really been an eye-opener for me, a person from a former male-dominated career field to watch how the "other half" reacts to the same pressures and preconceived notions that pervade the nursing profession. It is my fervent hope that the ladies, in this sense, prove to be the better half.
  5. by   58flyer
    Quote from Works2xs
    Every time I see this sort of thread open up, there is always opinion on what amounts to two different subjects.

    Subject one: What the patient wants - yea, verily. If a patient is more comfortable with a nurse of the same sex, then by all means, accommodete the patient's needs. I don't think that I've seen too many responses that say that the patient doesn't get what they want in terms of the gender of the provider.

    Subject two: Management's response to assignment of staff to patients based solely on gender. This is the area that is going to generate some issues. Unlike "subject one" this proclivity to single out men for perfroming (or not performing) a particular task in nursing based on their chromosomes would, in any other career field, would be grounds for a discrimination suit.

    I think we can agree that the patient's desires come out on top regardless of how reasonable we (the nursing staff) might view that request. Even if it bucks the current zeit geist for gender relations, we are bound by "patient bill of rights" to respond accordingly to their request. Anyone disagree?

    Where I get rubbed the wrong way is when coworkers, supervisors, managers make assignments, changes, etc. based solely on the gender of the people providing the care and nothing at all on what the stated preferences of the patient might be.

    Don't shut me out of L&D for no other reason than I'm a man. And don't send all your heavy lifts either. It only takes about 50 lbs to blow a disk (according to my friends at OSHA) so don't think you can simply substitutes me for a lifting job that would otherwise take 2 lady nurses. Guess what.. the same lift would require 2 guys as well.

    Making allowances for stated patient preferences is one thing. Making assignments or job offers based on hospital admin/unit manager/supervisor preferences is quite another.

    As with any discriminatory practice, it is incumbent on those who are in a position to propagate such injustice to recognize and respond accordingly to any workplace practice that might be in error. It has really been an eye-opener for me, a person from a former male-dominated career field to watch how the "other half" reacts to the same pressures and preconceived notions that pervade the nursing profession. It is my fervent hope that the ladies, in this sense, prove to be the better half.
    :yeahthat: Excellent post!
  6. by   Ronna
    I agree. An RN in a Registered Nurse male or female. If the patient is uncomfortable thats one thing, or if you know the person and they prefer a stranger rather than a friend giving them thier enema, well, I for one, can completely understand that, I want the stranger! Ronna

    I want to include all LPN's too, any quailified nursing staff
    Last edit by Ronna on Nov 22, '06 : Reason: left out important LPNs
  7. by   kennyd
    Quote from karenG
    I do have a friend who was accused of rape by a patient who felt men should not be nurses and decided to 'get rid' of him by accusing him of rape. it was a very uncomfortable time ( it was fairly obvious what she was doing and we didnt ever believe her.. he was never in a postion to have done anything!) and he got suspended....he was cleared and she apologied

    An apology !!!!!! She should have been prosecuted.
  8. by   ns lpn
    I don't see any difference in the nursing care provided by male vs. female nurses and I'm not afraid to tell a co-worker the same if they hold that bias. A good nurse is a good nurse male or female.
  9. by   Doog
    I totally agree with everyone that the patients feeling are the priority, without a doubt. My concern lies with the biases which exist in nurses and nursing instructors in the field.
  10. by   CatintheER
    Oh My, this was what I was talking about in my post and got rude comments back. I loved the male OB nurse that had taken care of me before and after I had my child. I work in the ED and I wish you would come to work with me, we would love and cherish you

    Cat
  11. by   Doog
    I must reply now that this post has resurfaced, that I haven't experienced any bias now that I am a new RN at a different hospital. I feel that I am treated equally amongst my peers, who are right in my same age range. Not saying that more mature nurses couldnt accept me as an equal peer, just that the situations I encountered were with more experienced-long timers.

    Shawn
  12. by   CT Pixie
    Lady chiming in here. I just wanted to say that I have never, ever had any issues with any male in any facet of the medical field (EMT/Paramedic, doctor, nurse, CNA etc) taking care of me or either of my daughters. I was always asked if I minded a male nurse taking care of me and my response was always the same, as long as he has a license that says he's a nurse..bring 'um on. LOL.

    Oh, wait, I lie! I did have a HUGE issue with a male nurse..heehee. I had just had one of my multiple GYN surgeries. I was just brough into my room and was asked if I had a problem with a male being my nurse, which I didn't. Well, in walks one hot guy about my age. He was explaining what he was going to do (check saturation of blood on the pad) which I was fine with UNTIL as he was just about to do it I realized that the "hot guy" happened to be an ex-boyfriend from high school... I didn't do or say anything but I was very uncomfortable to say the least. Once it was done, I realized, to him I was just a patient and he was doing his job, after that we would talk and reminise about "old times" while he was carrying out his needed tasks. It was all good in the end.

    As a matter of fact, for every single one of my surgeries (14 in all) I always had at least one male nurse, whether it was the OR nurse, PACU or floor. And every single one of them were tops in my book.

    Kudos to all of you men!
  13. by   Jaguar700
    The double standard is a problem. My experience is that more mature lady nurses impose their own values on you and the patient and so exclude you from the care. I understand the need to respect patient request, but try this one on. Patient requested a gay male white nurse. Hospital admin told him to find another hospital.

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