Bullied? What the heck is this about?

Nurses Men

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Hey guys, strangest situation I've probably found myself in. Been an RN since 2011, and worked health care since 2003, never had a problem working with women. Not one. I have an RN on our unit, well, now she's moved on to another clinical area. For whatever reason, insists on greeting me as "girl." And, to get a show, she'll address me as "what's up girl," in front of other people. Initially I blew it off as just jokes,whatever. However, I'm pretty sure she knows it gets a rise out of me, and does it to jerk my chain, and humiliate me.

The ironic thing, I'm 6'1, 230lb and obviously have very little resemblance to a female, lol. Here's the thing, I can confront people, but sometimes I come off as being too aggressive In other words, I take crap and try to blow it off until I lose it. I have a federal job, so don't really feel like losing it for completely going off an idiot. Plus, I feel with the feds, they wont take any complaint serious, considering I'm a male, a white at that.

Opinions?

If I were you, I'd do either of the following:

1. Tell her right to her face to cut it out, and you don't want to hear it again.

Or

2. Just ignore it completely. Your ignoring it will cause the fun of humiliating you to disappear when she sees you're non-reactive.

Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.

That is bizarre. So you're a guy & she is calling you a girl? I would talk to her & tell her to cut it out. If that doesn't work then just ignore it.

Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

What's up guy?

Hey dude.

Try that. It's not confrontational and funny.

Specializes in Critical Care.

Report her for harassment. . I'm sure she'll stop after that.

What's up guy?

Hey dude.

Try that. It's not confrontational and funny.

Funny, I was thinking along the same lines...

Hey, man, how's it going?

What's up, man?

Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

Hey brother.

Be nice. Some people are just socially inept.

If she is trying to push your buttons then give it right back.

I think she will grow tired of being called a man.

Specializes in Peri-Op.
Report her for harassment. . I'm sure she'll stop after that.

I hate to say it but I agree with this. Having been in plenty of tough management positions I can tell you that if you "give it back" and she doesn't like it she will slap you in the face with it through HR. Just set the tone now and let the right channels take care of it. If you never complain about anything to HR or management I guarantee they will take it serious. At least have the "confrontation" moderated in front of your manager/charge/HR, one of them....

I hate to say it but I agree with this. Having been in plenty of tough management positions I can tell you that if you "give it back" and she doesn't like it she will slap you in the face with it through HR. Just set the tone now and let the right channels take care of it. If you never complain about anything to HR or management I guarantee they will take it serious. At least have the "confrontation" moderated in front of your manager/charge/HR, one of them....

That's where, inevitably, I think this will lead to. I have no idea why she suddenly decided to target me. It's growing old and I'm pissed that she feels she can walk in to our unit and insult me for a laugh from others. I hold my tongue, because I feel that my words can be used against me, although she has instigated this situation. Not overly thrilled about using the chain of command,as I feel she will attempt to retaliate. For what it's worth, I have documented this, and have someone that can back me up, if this goes formal.

Not sure why people just can't go to work and leave others alone. Live and let live.

Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

This is very personal, but I would like to ask this, if you don't mind.

If you do, just ignore this post.

Is she doing this because of your sexual orientation?

If so, isn't that considered sexual harassment?

This is very personal, but I would like to ask this, if you don't mind.

If you do, just ignore this post.

Is she doing this because of your sexual orientation?

If so, isn't that considered sexual harassment?

I am heterosexual, I'm pretty sure she is aware of this. Unless s he perceives something else, I don't know. I'm honestly stumped. I'm 43, and have worked various job since I was 16, never had an incident with a coworker trying to harass me. I'm generally a laid back person and have always gotten along with coworkers. Maybe she's threatened somehow? Insecure?

Specializes in MICU, SICU, CICU.

Armani and Argo are right. Because of your size and your gender, she could allege sexual harassment if you confront her. I am not one to go to management for things that I can work out on my own, but in your situation, you don't have a choice.

Some people just like to pick a fight with the biggest guy in the room, or the strongest Nurse in the department or just suck all the energy out of a person with a snide remark. It could even be a malicious ruse to provoke you into losing your temper and your job.

Good luck and let us know how it all plays out.

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