"Male Problems" while nursing female

[Pat_Pat RN]

How do you handle yourself if you have "Enzyte induced engorgement" while working with a female patient?

I had this happen once while working in the ER doing an EKG.

Does this happen to others? Help me out here.

Please don't say I'm not being professional or this isn't the job for me, etc. These things happen, I want to know how to deal with it (at that immediate moment)

Thanks

[leslie :-D]

hey flyerman,

no, i never shared my personal trauma but female treaters shall remain.

in an emergent situation, i would think my preferences would be waived.

but who knows?

if i was conscious and i saw a man w/a foley coming towards me?

it bears repeating, i'm a horrible pt.

i would hate caring for someone like me.

as for the newfound knowledge of physiologic erections, it just feeds into my paranoia.

obviously there is no intellectual rationale but an erection is an erection is an erection, to someone w/my hx.

male nurses are going to encounter various barriers at various times.

it's helpful if one doesn't take it personally.

leslie

[jov]

comparing a rape victim, which is still a hyperarousal state, is not comparing apples to apples.

leslie

I do not understand this. Are you saying, that because a rape victim is in the "fight or flight" state of arousal, that physiological sexual arousal is MORE LIKELY to occur?

[dougRN2BE]

male nurses are going to encounter various barriers at various times.

it's helpful if one doesn't take it personally.

leslie

WOW! Imagine this in the business world. "I'm sorry ma'am, but female managers at our company are going to encounter various barriers at various times. Don't take it personally." The lawyers would be writing briefs before you could blink your eyes.

Quite a double standard this is. Unfortunate, really. This comment is, in my opinion, sexist and sad. It wouldn't fly in any other industry and I assume that most nurses would denounce such a statement.

:uhoh21:

[rn/writer, RN]

Originally Posted by earle58

male nurses are going to encounter various barriers at various times.

it's helpful if one doesn't take it personally.

leslie

WOW! Imagine this in the business world. "I'm sorry ma'am, but female managers at our company are going to encounter various barriers at various times. Don't take it personally." The lawyers would be writing briefs before you could blink your eyes.

Quite a double standard this is. Unfortunate, really. This comment is, in my opinion, sexist and sad. It wouldn't fly in any other industry and I assume that most nurses would denounce such a statement.

:uhoh21:

I wonder if you have read the entire thread. If not, it might be difficult to view leslie's comment in context.

I don't want to put words in anyone's mouth, but my take on what she said is that, unfortunate though it may be, men in nursing are going to find some resistance FROM PATIENTS, not officially sanctioned barriers from employers. And that they will save themselves (and possibly their patients) a lot of unnecessary aggravation if they don't make such situations personal.

In some fields, consumer-generated resistance can be dealt with rather firmly. In healthcare, gender preferences can be gently investigated, but because of the intimate nature of some kinds of care, I doubt that anyone would force a practitioner of the opposite sex on someone who really didn't want that.

Sexism against male nurses would be making judgments linking ability to gender and assuming a man can't do the job. Expressing a preference for a female caregiver based on prior history and a desire to feel safe is about the patient, not about the male nurse.

[leslie :-D]

WOW! Imagine this in the business world. "I'm sorry ma'am, but female managers at our company are going to encounter various barriers at various times. Don't take it personally." The lawyers would be writing briefs before you could blink your eyes.

Quite a double standard this is. Unfortunate, really. This comment is, in my opinion, sexist and sad. It wouldn't fly in any other industry and I assume that most nurses would denounce such a statement.

:uhoh21:

as miranda suggested, you really need to read the thread (or more specifically, my posts) in its' entirety, before basing your conclusions.

what i am proposing, is (too) many females have remarkable histories involving some type of male assault.

whether it's an isolated rape case or yrs of sexual abuse, it's a stark reality and it's pervasive.

it will not be the least bit unusual, to (unknowingly) encounter female pts with aforementioned histories.

in the event a female pt requests a female nurse, there is a darned good possibility it is r/t a traumatic past.

it may not even be r/t trauma, but maybe it's religious or cultural.

we don't know unless the pt chooses to disclose their reasons.

whatever the patient's reasons are, it's not about you or your competencies.

it is not the time to take it personally.

you just do not know why one is fearful and/or blatantly against care being provided by a nurse of the opposite sex.

moreover, even though i can intellectually acknowledge that a male nurse is equally as competent as their female counterparts, my emotional scars will supersede any 'rational' thought process.

if one can't understand that, then a major disservice is being passed to the pt.

the bottom line is always about the pt, and what will best facilitate their road to recovery.

and we all know that holistic care- mind, body, spirit- is what will heal our pts most meaningfully and appreciably.

leslie

[dougRN2BE]

We shouldn't assume that because someone has a difference of interpretation or opinion that it is a result of not reading the post.

I acknowledge your points and see validity in them. I'll bow out of the conversation so as not to derail the thread.

Cheers,

Doug

[leslie :-D]

you're right, doug.

i shouldn't have assumed.

nonetheless, i hope you don't bow out.

it's important we all have our say and encourage open dialogue.

i have truly enjoyed bantering with you guys.

we have much to learn from ea other.

and i hope it never stops.

leslie

[dougRN2BE]

you're right, doug.

i shouldn't have assumed.

nonetheless, i hope you don't bow out.

it's important we all have our say and encourage open dialogue.

i have truly enjoyed bantering with you guys.

we have much to learn from ea other.

and i hope it never stops.

leslie

Thanks for your understanding, Leslie. I genuinely appreciate it. In kind, I apologize for assuming what you meant without probing further. The point made by you and the mod are valid and I see your perspective. My fingers got ahead of my sensibilities.

:icon_hug:

[58flyer]

as miranda suggested, you really need to read the thread (or more specifically, my posts) in its' entirety, before basing your conclusions.

what i am proposing, is (too) many females have remarkable histories involving some type of male assault.

whether it's an isolated rape case or yrs of sexual abuse, it's a stark reality and it's pervasive.

it will not be the least bit unusual, to (unknowingly) encounter female pts with aforementioned histories.

in the event a female pt requests a female nurse, there is a darned good possibility it is r/t a traumatic past.

it may not even be r/t trauma, but maybe it's religious or cultural.

we don't know unless the pt chooses to disclose their reasons.

whatever the patient's reasons are, it's not about you or your competencies.

it is not the time to take it personally.

you just do not know why one is fearful and/or blatantly against care being provided by a nurse of the opposite sex.

moreover, even though i can intellectually acknowledge that a male nurse is equally as competent as their female counterparts, my emotional scars will supersede any 'rational' thought process.

if one can't understand that, then a major disservice is being passed to the pt.

the bottom line is always about the pt, and what will best facilitate their road to recovery.

and we all know that holistic care- mind, body, spirit- is what will heal our pts most meaningfully and appreciably.

leslie

Well said Leslie. I appreciate your input and your ability to articulate what has to be a highly emotional issue for you. Please don't think I was disagreeing with you, I was just trying to understand your feelings on the matter.

It should be recognized that males too can be victims of sexual assault, and that sometimes the perpetrator is a female. Recognize also that such an assault can occur in the medical environment with the perpetrator being a female healthcare provider. That has happened, hard as it is to believe.

A male patient having experienced that will likely refuse personal cares from a female or at least be highly uncomfortable with it. That shouldn't be taken personally either. But sometimes it is.

A female patient is generally in a good position to request care from their own gender as most healthcare providers are female anyway. For men, that may not be the case. In my own experience just once was a request for a same sex provider granted without opposition. On other occasions my request was taken very personally to the point of ridicule and insults, and on 2 occasions I had to terminate care and transfer to another facility.

While I am sensitive to the discrimination issue, I am all for treating a patient according to their preferences. Not granting a male patient's request for same gender care is discriminatory in my view.

What has all this to do with erections? My apologies for getting off topic, but that sometimes happens when folks open their hearts.

[sunseeker]

I really appreciate reading all the different open honest perspectives in the thread. These are sensitive topics and are often awkward and uncomfortable to discuss and I just wanted to say thank you to all who have voiced their opinion, some made me think, some answered questions and some just made me laugh. All are good things.

[rn/writer, RN]

This is really a success story all the way around. Speaking as a mod for a moment, I have to express my admiration and gratitude for the good things going on in this thread.

There have been some dicey moments along with the need to edit or remove a couple of posts, but you guys have hung in there and really made an effort to communicate and clarify your thoughts and to hear each other out. And on such a challenging topic! Moderation can clear the air and remove obstacles and barriers, but in the end, only the members can create the excellence and the learning opportunities this site has become known for.

I read the last group of posts and just sat here smiling.

Thank you.

[twotrees2]

i think that's where i'm a bit disconcerted.

evidentally, this happens in the absence of anything "remotely suggestive".

and even if it did happen because of sexual arousal, it kinda creeps me out that this happens on a seemingly regular basis.

if pts knew this, they would all probably request female nurses.

leslie

men can and often do even wake up with it up - its a natural issue - it isnt somethng they can control all the time - when the joke about men "thinking with the wrong head " came out - i swear any man i know it does have its own mind lol. not creepy - and noone suggested a "regular basis" it may just seem so as so many have admitted yes it happens on occassion. just my opinion.