What's the best specialty for someone who hates small talk?

Specialties Med-Surg

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I'm looking for suggestions from my fellow introverted nurses: what specialties have you tried or heard of that are a good fit for someone who is not so fond of small talk? I am currently working in a med-surg unit on nights and find even the small amount of interaction with families to be incredibly draining. Before I worked in med-surg I actually worked in the NICU, but the long-term relationships with families for 2-3 months at a time was REALLY not my thing (my hospital did primary nursing and picking up one patient for that long terrified me because of running out of things to talk about with the parents after only one shift.) I was hoping med-surg would not require as much small talk as the NICU did, but I haven't found that to be the case. I really admire those who can talk to patients so effortlessly, but for me, that is the most draining part of the job, not the acuity, business, patho, or critical thinking. Would love to hear what specialties are a good fit for us introverts!

how long have you been doing this? I ask because i'm a huge introvert and small talk is so painful for me. My med-surg experience was so busy that i could not have chit-chatted with my patients even if i wanted to (sad, i know).

I'm in an icu now and i have a mix of rapid recovery post-ops that i'm extubating and keeping til the morning, and sedated ventilated patients. If my patients are awake enough to be talking to me (and stable), i can be more helpful to my coworkers so there's less awkward alone time in my patient's room.

Keep in mind the hospital is a scary foreign place for most patients. Small talk is a good distraction for them and helps make human connection. Over time, you will probably feel more comfortable. I think patients and families can sense when conversation is forced or if we are not being genuine, so often if conversation doesn't flow, i'm not afraid to be present and be silent. With those kinds of patients, to increase the sense of my presence, i'd try to do my charting in the room, and even charting for other stuff i need to catch up on, in which i'll say something like "i'm just going to do some charting in the computer here, don't mind me but don't feel like you're interrupting me if you need anything."

i've been with peds a few times, which i found more difficult to interact with parents. I felt 100x more awkward. Idk about your hospital or patient type but parents are around at night just as much.

In summary, i'd try to deal with your introversion and finding ways to make it work with your nursing style, not just avoiding people as much as possible. Even if that would be so much easier :)

i agree with your last paragraph 100%

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I feel your pain. It sounds like you may have a bit of social anxiety in addition to being an introvert, especially when you mentioned your stress level when imagining getting stuck with patients and running out of things to say.

You'll probably find that you have small talk in most fields of nursing since we're almost always interfacing with either patients or providers (for instance in the OR you'll be surrounded by surgeons all day). You may be able to find that perfect job or field eventually, but in the meantime, it may help to work on some coping strategies.

Small talk doesn't come naturally to me either; this is what works for me (in the NICU setting): Work on developing a few basic 'scripts' (you probably already have at least a few on hand, like how you introduce yourself). Try to be aware of what you're saying that works well, and doesn't work well. Trial different scripts and keep coming back to what works. When you're at a lull in the conversation consider steering the conversation back toward the medical condition, the assessments/skills you're performing, or patient education. If I ever run out of things to talk about with NICU parents, I either talk through what I'm doing and why I'm doing it, or I usually start 'chatting' about a tangentially-related education topic (pulling from one of my frequently-used 'scripts,' like preemie stress cues). Also, don't feel obligated to stay in the room any longer than you have to; if a patient is being super-chatty and you're finished with your tasks, it's totally ok to politely excuse yourself to get some space. If you're feeling really stressed out or exhausted from social overload, it may help to take your break or lunch somewhere alone and physically off the unit so you can decompress. In my case these tricks don't make me any less introverted, but they do help me to feel less anxious about patient encounters. You may also consider working with a counselor on similar strategies. If you are experiencing anxiety that is affecting your job or wellbeing, there are definitely resources that can help.

I also agree with Guy (as always) about night shift nursing. I've done nights and days, and I completely understand how days can be more socially exhausting than nights. Most of the time on NICU, the start of the night shift might be busy and overwhelming with parents; however, it usually settles down by about 2200. I can get pretty stressed out when parents stay the night and want to participate in every care; fortunately, that isn't often the norm.

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I was in NICU for a year and a half and I've been doing Medsurg for a few months. I am capable of doing small talk pretty well, I guess I just didn't realize there would be so much of it in nursing.. I think I do make families feel awkward at times but if it's just me and the patient it's a little easier. And I have no trouble connecting with coworkers I guess because I know that it's more of a long term thing when I get to know them. However after a shift I have to avoid socializing for a few days in order to recharge haha! Do you suggest dealing with introversion by just trying to expose myself to more social situations maybe?

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I know for myself, it can be exhausting on top of being exhausted from work to be super social unless it's not a huge commitment and/or with friends I know well, so your suggestion wouldn't be helpful to me and my introversion. But you know yourself better than we do. I just don't want you to stress yourself out more by exerting that energy into practice that might not prove very useful because your social circle would be different from the interactions and conversations with patients and families.

I LOVED adventure_rn's suggestions of having pre-planned conversation pieces. I realized I do this too, and the things I say usually end up being able to be said to any of my patients. I feel repetitive in my head, but my patients don't know I've been saying the same thing to anyone else :) It could be something going on locally (probably not politics or anything else sticky like that) or other random current events stuff. I live in Minnesota so football is the popular subject these days.

Also, the suggestion of filling lulls with you explaining what you're doing is great too. It would be a good idea to try to incorporate any education and assessment for further learning needs, since "discharge planning starts at admission," right?

Idk how long you've been in practice, but I'm pretty certain small talk will increasingly become second nature for you no matter what kind of unit you're with, especially with how conscientious and self-aware you seem by your concerns. Best wishes!

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Extended care clients in the home who are nonverbal, usually children, and the parents are at work during your shift. You take report at the beginning of your shift, give report at the end, and spend the shift alone in the home with a patient who has nothing verbal to say. You would have to specifically ask for this type of case from the agency.

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However after a shift I have to avoid socializing for a few days in order to recharge haha!

Me too!! Even if I'm primarily socializing with my coworkers, I get most of it out at work and then enjoy doing my own thing for a few days. I'm all for enjoying a good book or museum on your own.

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Thanks so much for all of the ideas and suggestions! I am definitely going to make a list of topics for conversation as a starting point, since I don't foresee getting completely away from small talk as long as I'm in nursing. I'm hoping to return to NICU if I can master talking to adult patients first, then parents which tends to be more challenging for me. I'm still a fairly new nurse (less than 2 years) so definitely plenty of room for growth. Y'all are awesome!!!!!!

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Hahaha yep I'm thinking of trying NICU nights to avoid all the talking with parents or giving adult ICU shot. Just no family drama please! It's hard enough to concentrate on a critical pt without the drama!

Beware of ICU-it's all about drama.

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Specializes in Med-surg, telemetry, oncology, rehab, LTC, ALF.

I actually don't encounter much small talk, working nights on a busy med-surg unit. There might be a little bit of small talk and socializing until my patients are all tucked in and medicated. Most of our families leave by 2100 (hospital policy). After that, it's usually pretty quiet. I rarely find myself participating in small talk when I take a patient to the bathroom at 2 am in the morning.

Day shift is anxiety-inducing for me. Even when I'm on my way out out of the hospital at 0730, the amount of socializing going on around me is overwhelming. I don't know how our day shift nurses handle it, honestly.

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OR circulating nurse. Easier to get in at an ASC than a hospital.

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On 7/19/2020 at 4:41 AM, jnks said:

OR circulating nurse. Easier to get in at an ASC than a hospital.

Don't you have to talk with staff then? LOL.  I'd say PACU.  I'm surprised NICU at night would be quieter.  When it comes to babies, I figure that's round the clock drama for the parents.

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My advise is to watch the series "Nurse Jackie", she specifically addresses this problem with her new nurse she is orienting, sorry I don't know which episode,....however it could be the pressure to make small talk that drove her into drug addiction and eventual overdose, which is a good lesson for us all, we should all take heed... Small Talk Is Bad For Your Health, hope this was helpful, good luck.

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