Appropriate?

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    All right guys, I have a question for us all to consider. I know there will be opposing answers, but I wan t help analyzing this.
    So, I am 47 (age won't matter), married> I went back to school full time in Jan of 2007, one more semester of RN school to go after the summer.
    Ever since starting back to school I have been in the presence of girls. Considering my DIRECTION which is NURSING it is predominately FEMALE, and I work in local hospitals as a CNA > AGAIN females. I do not have a problem with this. Without overloading the post at this point with details I would like help thinking through a few details, or points. Here they are:
    Is it wrong for me to have MANY female friends on Facebook? co-workers, classmates etc...
    Is it wrong that the bulk of my text messages are from co-workers, fellow nursing students? again FEMALES...

    I have seen some opinions from women on some posts that have stated that this is absolutely wrong.
    Now, have you put yourself in our (mens) shoes? ( Silly question, because I know there aren't any women reading this post ;-)
    Are we to have a career and be antisocial and a loner because we are afraid of friendship with the opposite sex?

    I totally understand, or try to put myself in her shoes. I would not want all of her friends to be men...
    ready...GO_______________
  2. 11 Comments so far...

  3. 0
    Is it wrong? Well I guess that depends on the person. Interesting enough though, I just read a report a couple of days ago that says Facebook is now cited in one in five divorce petitions. wow, thats alot of people getting divorced over facebook.
  4. 1
    My opinion is that this is an subject that must be dealt with on a marriage-by-marriage basis.

    Is it wrong? That's totally dependent on your wife/SO. It's logical that you are surrounded by females, thus you are forced to either be anti-social or have many female friends that are facebooking, texting, and talking to you in general. The real question is whether or not this is upsetting to your partner. If it is, then the answer to the original question is maybe.

    I won't say that you should distance yourself from your classmates or co-workers just because you are a married man and they are all females.

    But your wife might.

    I think you both need to consider a few things: 7% of the nursing population is men, so you will have far more female co-workers than male ones. Of course that will be uncomfortable for her, but maybe if you focus on not bringing so many of them home (figuratively) it won't be such an issue.

    You don't need to be antisocial to keep your wife happy, you just need to be more mindful of her feelings. Similarly, your wife should understand that it's the nature of the profession to be 93% female, and that isn't your fault.
    caregiver1977 likes this.
  5. 1
    I too am a male nursing student, I will be starting in the fall of 2011, and I have done some CNA work in the past. I feel that, as long as the contact between yourself and the other females is strictly friendly or professional, then no, it is not wrong. Of course, you wouldn't want your wife to be talking to a ton of men you didn't know all the time either. So the question also becomes how often do you talk to these women, how much does your wife know about your relationship with them, and is she ever included in a group if you go out with them? I feel like as long as you and your wife have an understanding, and she knows that you are just being friendly and trying to be outgoing and sociable, then it shouldn't be a problem.
    caregiver1977 likes this.
  6. 1
    Write to Dear Abby.
    CoffeemateCNA likes this.
  7. 0
    Sack up. You can have whatever friends you want to.
  8. 0
    I wouldn't worry about my personal life over my career. When at work...., when at play....., when at home.....
  9. 1
    I have worked as a nurse the last 23 years in many different settings. My wife is also a nurse. We met before attending nursing school. She hasnt ever verbalized any jealousy because of trust. So be sociable in a manner which doesnt provoke a jealous response. I have been married the last 27 years also.
    Good Luck,
    Skip
    caregiver1977 likes this.
  10. 0
    I am the wife of nurse, and currently a CNA. My husband and I have been married for 6 years, togeather for 10(we are 28y/o). I think it's compleatly unrealistlc to expect you to have an entire carrer with out any friends. You do need to be aware of your wifes feelings on this though, and you do need to be a bit more careful then you would if you were hanging with the guys. Hopefully your wife is understanding that just because your friends with a woman doesnt mean you're sleeping with her, or want to. It is easier for me, because my husband I work in the same hospital (he's ICU, I'm a float) I knew everyone he works with long before he did. They are facebook friends, they'll comment on his comments, pics of the kids, ocassionally write on a wall... He emails some coworkers who left the unit, mostly because they just finished CRNA school, and he was just accepted... They don't text eachother often, only "can you pick up a shift?" There were a few more during the possible strike here in MN last summer, but he won't spend forever on the phone. A few of them may have a beer after work, but the only person he hangs out with outside of work is honestly the only other male nurse on the floor. They happen to be the same age, and get along great, but not all you guys are so lucky. His friend though, ended up cutting off most of his friendships once he got married (but she's nuts, so no one should expect anyone to do that.) He chooses to keep a line drawn, because it makes him more comfortable, and because of that, we have never had a problem. You need to find what is a good balance for you and your wife, and not cross that line. "Work Wives" though, I do believe are not appropriate. even if this term is toung in cheek, I think a relationship intimate enough to use the term "wife" would make your real wife uncomfortable.
  11. 0
    Quote from That Guy
    Sack up. You can have whatever friends you want to.
    Um, yeah, that's only going to get you in trouble. I'm guessing not married?


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