Do you help other students out?

[lampard]

Ok, maybe the question should be reworded like this:

Is this girl using me to teach her?

I met this older student, she's 32 years old and she has like 2 kids to look after. I was originally friends with another girl, but this 32 year old woman decided to join our group. I only wanted to make 1 friend, instead of sticking to groups, because I have my own study schedule, work schedule, and life etc.. and I didn't want to get into this group pressure thing..

Anyway, this 32 year old woman asked me if I was heading to the library after class, and I said "yes" and she followed me. She then sat next me to in a group table, and then started asking me all these questions on A&P, and BASICALLY RELYING on me to teach her.. I ended up explaining to her all the concepts, and she did not contribute at all, basically she is LAZY to do the READINGS on her her, so she's pretty much reliant on me to teach it to her? lol..

I also felt that it was a waste of time, I could have been working on my assignment or reading my textbook.

I thought that she would study on her own, once we got to the library but NO..

The thing is it feels like she is using me, to teach her. She doesn't even sit next to me in class, and then asks me if I'm going to the library.

I don't know if I have an obligation to TEACH HER and make her pass the course even though she's my classmate.

Today, she asked me again, if I was going to the library...

I'm now thinking that, I can't get INDIVIDUAL STUDY done, because she's basically relying on me to "teach" her the materials, so that she can study them at home.

Am I being selfish or reasonable here?

What do I say to her the next time she asks me if I want to go to the library?

Do I just say " I want to work on my assignment, or I want to study on my own..."

I don't want to tell her at her face that I don't want to study with her..

[sueall]

A passive-aggressive approach isn't going to work with this person, and you need to define the limitations clearly and NOW before it drags on. Be up front and tell her that you are going to the library to study on your own. Does the library have individual study carrels anywhere, instead of group tables? Or a "quiet room" where talking isn't allowed? Your willingness to help a fellow student is admirable, but not if it jeopardizes your own study time and not if she is taking advantage of you. You are doing her no favors in the long run by continuing to do the work for her. She will never learn to think, nor will she develop critical thinking skills, if you continue making this easy for her.

A study partner is just that -- a partner, someone who gives as well as receives. So, unless you truly enjoy this rather one-sided situation, change it. And the longer you let it continue, the harder it will be to change it. So change it NOW if you want to change it at all.

Been there, done that, have the blood-sucking leech marks to prove it.

[springchick1, ADN, RN]

Some I help and some I don't. The girl who sits in front of me and leaves after test, I don't help. I'm not giving her my lecture notes or any test hints that were given. If she wants that info, she needs to stay for lecture (when we have it). The girl who was sick and missed class, absolutely I'll help her. Being sick is one thing. Skipping class every week is another.

[vintagemother, BSN, CNA, LVN, RN]

I help people out. I don't mind going over information with someone because I fel like it's another way of studying. If I explain it to someone it helps me to remember it better. I can only do that if I have studied alone first. I don't think age or kids have anything to do with it. I'm 37 with 4 kids. I have passed nursing class studying alone.

Me too! I led lots of study sessions in which people asked me questions and I explained concepts. We all earned excellent grades! I'm a social butterfly though. I love talking and I love teaching. I was older than most of my study buddies who were childless, while I have 3 big kids.

[cocoluv06]

I would simply tell her (the pest) that you are not trying to be mean or rude, but that you study better alone. Some people do not catch hints. And some people just don't give a damn until you tell them in a blunt manner.

I completely agree with this ! Sometimes you have to be blunt but of course respectfully. Some people take advantage of others and their time even when they do not realize that they are doing so. I can not do group study period. It does not work for me. But I definitely do not agree with anyone trying to leech off of me without at least contributing of some sort. That is just plain rude! I have children as well but there is no excuse why anyone can not take the time to study material on their own. Let her know that you will not be able to "study" with her for whatever reason and leave it at that. If she does not understand then oh well. That's her bad, not yours. Goodluck with your studies!

[cocoluv06]

OOPS forgot to quote Tasha's post... This was in response to what she said in her comment.

Having children has nothing to do with meeting anything. I have children and was able to meet with my study groups whenever we made a designated time to meet. I think your issue was that you thought you had a friend and she obviously was UNGRATEFUL and was NOT your friend at all. I'd rather she said thank you and kept it pushing then to be rude and disrespectful like that. Smh. The nerve of some people! That's why its best to worry about yourself ! But any who I'm glad someone who was grateful came along and appreciated you. That's awesome !

[cocoluv06]

I remember I ran into an old high school friend in my summer school chemistry class. She has two kids and was going through a divorce. I was excited to have someone i knew in the class and took upon myself to email her study tips and things that will help us to pass. I may have went over board because she emailed me back with 'I DONT NEED YOUR HELP." I was a little devastated because I thought we were friends. Anywhoo, later that week a young girl in the class came to me and said "hey lets study." so we would meet twice a week and study. Although I was doing all the talking and reciting the information, i loved it because it helped me study as well. She would say "thank you for helping me." and I would reply back "oh no, you're the BIG HELP." I loved having a study partner , but then again, i love teaching in general lol. In my conclusion, having someone with no children and a lot of free time, like myself, was better for me because we had the same schedule to meet whenever at whatever time.

My last comment was in response to your post. I forgot to "quote" it. Oops lol

[Natasha A., CNA, LVN]

OOPS forgot to quote Tasha's post... This was in response to what she said in her comment.

Having children has nothing to do with meeting anything. I have children and was able to meet with my study groups whenever we made a designated time to meet. I think your issue was that you thought you had a friend and she obviously was UNGRATEFUL and was NOT your friend at all. I'd rather she said thank you and kept it pushing then to be rude and disrespectful like that. Smh. The nerve of some people! That's why its best to worry about yourself ! But any who I'm glad someone who was grateful came along and appreciated you. That's awesome !

Thank you. :) Let me explain the full story and share that beside trying to form a study group with my high school classmate who had kids, I also ran into another woman who came to me with 4 kids and wanted to study. The thing was we never could get her to study with us. She was scoring As and Bs like myself so it wasn't a problem at all. I tend to hear people tell me that "its best to worry about yourself." I just want everyone to succeed...maybe that's a gift and a curse of mines...i need a life..lol

[cocoluv06]

Thank you. :) Let me explain the full story and share that beside trying to form a study group with my high school classmate who had kids, I also ran into another woman who came to me with 4 kids and wanted to study. The thing was we never could get her to study with us. She was scoring As and Bs like myself so it wasn't a problem at all. I tend to hear people tell me that "its best to worry about yourself." I just want everyone to succeed...maybe that's a gift and a curse of mines...i need a life..lol

Nothing is wrong with wanting everyone to succeed. I want everyone to succeed as well. But at the same time it is nothing wrong with worrying about yourself as well. It has nothing to do with anyone having children or not. I know plenty of classmates who have no children but could never find time to meet up with us. There is no excuse for anyone. But at the end of the day to each it's own. I just want to ensure that our focus is on becoming competent nurses! That's what truly matters! Good luck on your journey as well! :) :)

[Natasha A., CNA, LVN]

I respect and understand. Thank you very much and I also wish you the same. :)

[nekozuki, LPN]

As an A&P/bio tutor, teaching others in a study group is the most effective way of passing difficult exams. It's basically the secret to doing well in high-level science and nursing courses. I tell anyone I tutor that they must "teach" the material to another student, a family member, their dog, or themselves via webcam. I always ask them the same questions the day before every test:

Do you understand it?

Do you really, really know it?

Well, can you teach it to me?

If the last answer is no, the first two are also no. You don't truly have a comprehensive understanding of the material if you can't teach it to someone else.

If you still need to learn some material, then tell whoever that you aren't ready for a study group. But definitely take advantage of the opportunity!

[Natasha A., CNA, LVN]

As an A&P/bio tutor, teaching others in a study group is the most effective way of passing difficult exams. It's basically the secret to doing well in high-level science and nursing courses. I tell anyone I tutor that they must "teach" the material to another student, a family member, their dog, or themselves via webcam. I always ask them the same questions the day before every test:

Do you understand it?

Do you really, really know it?

Well, can you teach it to me?

If the last answer is no, the first two are also no. You don't truly have a comprehensive understanding of the material if you can't teach it to someone else.

If you still need to learn some material, then tell whoever that you aren't ready for a study group. But definitely take advantage of the opportunity!

I can't agree more. I'm a walking testimony. I was getting C's in chemistry till I found my study partner and started teaching her. *boom* I started getting A's and B's. I'm taking science courses soon and I will use this knowledge into consideration. First day of class I am harrassing a student . Lol *joking*

[kristina.judie]

definitely agree to an extent :) but it's different if they are trying and just struggling or if they are just being lazy!