VERY frustrated...

Nurses LPN/LVN

Published

Hey everyone!

I work in LTC, pretty good place w/ a good rep. We have a problem family whose loved one has been in the facility for 10 years now. I say "problem" because they are very unrealistic w/ their aspectations of how the unit should be run and how care is rendered. They have called the ombudsman and the board of health numerous times because the aide assigned to their family member didn't toilet her as quickly as the family wanted. Aides and nurses have been fired because of this woman's family and now she has been transferred to my unit.:uhoh3: The family has already complained about me and asked for disciplinary action because I asked one of them not to follow her mother's aide in to a bathroom while the aide was rendering care to another patient. I do not want to take care of this person any longer. I feel as though I should just hand my license over to the family when they come in and let them decide wether or not to destroy it, that's what they're doing anyway as far as I'm concerned. I asked that I be transferred to another unit, and I was told no, I asked for the patient to be removed from my assignment, again I was told no. Legally if I feel that my livelihood is threatened must I care for this person? MY DON tells me not to bother w/ them at all..hello!! I'm the one taking care of their mom...how do I not talk to them?! What would you do?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Bluntly, start looking for a new job. Management is not supporting you. The family is getting to do what they want.

Between now and a new job, document every interaction you have with the family, provide care with an aide present. Keep a journal at the end of every shift.

In LTC, the family is ALWAYS right.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.

Unfortunately, I also happen to work at a LTCF that caters to unrealistic family members from head to toe. The administration of these facilities do not care for the employees, patients, or family members. Rather, profit is their concern.

Anyway, it never hurts to tell a problem family member, "If you are unsatisfied with the care that is being provided to your loved one, keep in mind that you have several other options at your disposal. You can opt to take care of the patient at home, or have him/her transferred to another facility that will provide the care you're seeking."

Usually, this shuts unrealistic people up. And technically, you have said or done nothing wrong.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Geriatrics,AL,Psych,Detox.
Bluntly, start looking for a new job. Management is not supporting you. The family is getting to do what they want.

Between now and a new job, document every interaction you have with the family, provide care with an aide present. Keep a journal at the end of every shift.

In LTC, the family is ALWAYS right.

I totally agree. You need management to back you up. It sounds like they are letting that family pound you into the ground. It's not right for them to allow you to be treated that way.Good Luck!:balloons::idea:

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in pediatric and geriatric.

Someone in management needs to have a sit down with these people and talk about, As thecommuter stated above, other options for the residents care. Maybe they should hire private duty or take the resident home. Anyway sounds like no unit wants this person. I think they should let you transfer if the family is complaining about you already. They should not force you to choose to leave your job over something they can fix if they grow a backbone. Well I wish you luck and I hope your management gets a clue.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Bluntly, start looking for a new job. Management is not supporting you. The family is getting to do what they want.

Between now and a new job, document every interaction you have with the family, provide care with an aide present. Keep a journal at the end of every shift.

In LTC, the family is ALWAYS right.

I am so sorry but honestly this answer is most likely the only right answer. Another poster advised telling the family if they are unhappy they have other options ie; taking the patient home. Please don't do this. It would be one thing for a director to say this to a family member but quite another for a staff nurse to say that. To Protect yourself the best you can (Since obviously the LTC facility is not going to) DOCUMENT EVERYTHING!!! Also keep a journal for your own records that has the date and time of every interaction so that if you are ever questioned you will have this information at hand.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Bluntly, start looking for a new job. Management is not supporting you. The family is getting to do what they want.

Between now and a new job, document every interaction you have with the family, provide care with an aide present. Keep a journal at the end of every shift.

In LTC, the family is ALWAYS right.

My thought exactly...we have a supportive management team and we would not put up with this the way your management is. You need to find another job NOW while your record is unblemished. Why wait for them to write you up or fire you. It will happen.:angryfire

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thanks to everyone on your great advice!

I've charted on every interaction that I have w/ this pt, I also always make sure that there's someone w/ me when I'm performing care. I have not had anymore interactions w/ the family. They pop in from time and watch me as I do my work @ which point the unit coordinator always come out to speak to them, ask if the need help, etc. The family does not speak to me at all and I have not heard any further complaints from up above. Ironically, the pt all of a sudden is super friendly w/ me. Which makes me wonder if she is using me as pawn to get attention from her family...she has a looong psych hx....

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Mother-Baby, Rehab, Hospice, Memory Care.

It sounds like that family needs to sit down for a care conference for their mother. I would never tell a family member to take their mother or father home or to another facility if they don't like the care. I would think that would only make things more hostile. I would confront the issue with the family with the help of your ADON and DON. Find out what they are real expectations are, what different things the staff can do to accomodate the resident within reality. Then create a care plan from there.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in pediatric and geriatric.

I don't think anyone said the nurse should go over the families options with them. They said management which would be DON or higher. Lets get real here if your staff is being abused by a resident the facility most certainly has an obligation to do some kind of intervention. It may be a tuff job to sit down with people like that, but thats why they are in management-to manage.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Med-Surg.
Bluntly, start looking for a new job. Management is not supporting you. The family is getting to do what they want.

Between now and a new job, document every interaction you have with the family, provide care with an aide present. Keep a journal at the end of every shift.

In LTC, the family is ALWAYS right.

Well said!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment