Have you ever cried when a Pt died - page 3

Sorry if there is a thread somewhere on here already about this. I remember the first time one of my patients died on me. I was taking care of her and she got very sick, I was working in Assisted Living at the time so the rules... Read More

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    Absolutely, I've done Acute and LTC and lost patients with both. LTC deaths were hard because I had worked with the patients for so long that I felt I really knew them. In Acute I cried because I lost a 3 year old little girl. I had helped work on her for an hour before she was called. It was later, after everything had settled down that the tears came.

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  2. 0
    when i use to work directly with patients, every time i saw a mother losing a young child my eyes would swell up, however, i don't cry unless is a pt. that i been taking care of for a while and gotten familiar with their family as well. however, several times i have gone to my office and behind doors i have cried like a baby, the last time was when one of our nurses lost her battle with cancer that affected me deeply, since she was my preceptor long time ago may she r.i.p.
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    Yes I've started to but I just gently press on my lacrimal glands and hold it in. Why? Because it's not happening to me. My job is to the the calm in the storm. It's not my experience to have.
    GrnTea likes this.
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    I have & I know I will again it's human nature.
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    I sure have. When I worked ICU and now in hospice. And I have questioned myself on what I could have done differently.

    All normal.

    I am new ot hospice and home health. i was talking to my preceptor about how I take my work home and feel 24/7 responsible for my patients. I had one patient who I set up a nebulizer for the first time. Iw orked in ICU, but the RT's always did it. I was scared I did it wrong. My preceptor said " if she dies, it's not the nebulizer that would kill her, it's the cancer" And she is right. She told me about one time when she gave morphine and the patient died hours later. But the patient was in distress. It wasn't the morphine that killed the patient, it was the disease.

    Crying and caring just makes you human.
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    Quote from wellsjc
    I've been nursing for 25 years in all kinds of settings and my motto is still " when you quit crying when you lose a patient, you need to find a new job". I have always found that my patients' families were some how comforted in seeing that the nurse who cared for their relative or friend cared enough about them to care about their passing. So go ahead and cry, it lets off the anxiety and makes you a better nurse.
    I respectfully disagree. I don't cry and I am an excellent nurse. I have never, and I doubt that I ever would cry when a patient dies. It isn't my personality. I have other ways of dealing with anxiety and it doesn't make a nurse that cries a better nurse. I am guessing you are talking in general terms, but most men I know in nursing would probably feel similar to myself.
    Always_Learning likes this.
  7. 0
    Yes. Many times. Losing those special ones never gets any eaasier. I will give my manager credit though. She gets the death notices first (we work in an outpatient clinic and they dump into her computer) and if she knows one of us was particularly attached to a patient she will come to our office, close the door and break the news to that nurse. And most of the time, when the door opens, all of us in the clinic are wiping our eyes. I cry with families too. Not loud sobs, but I know many families that have seen me wiping my eyes in the hallway. They spend so much time with us - some of my pts have been my pts for over 22 years - we can't help but feel the loss.
  8. 0
    No, I haven't. I just get tearful if when the family cries after the patient's death. I guess my weak point is when someone cries in front of me. Unless the dying patient cried right before death, I won't cry. I do acute care, and I still get attached to some patients every once in a while. However, nobody I was attached to died on me thankfully. That would be a different case.
  9. 0
    I've never cried in front of a patient or family/visitors, but I was a Pediatric Hospice Home-Care CNA for a while, and I broke down in my car many, many times. I'm great in a crisis or other situation, but I fall apart about an hour after it's all over.
  10. 0
    There is absolutely nothing wrong with crying when you lose a beloved patient/resident--it shows that you have a heart. In LTC residents become 'family' to many staff members and they return the same deep feelings towards staff. Personally I spent many hours on my own time sitting with a dying resident, some with family there and some whose family had just left or couldn't be there. I also made it a point to go to calling hours, funerals or memorials and was warmly received by the families. I retired last April after 46 yrs in the nursing field--started my career in LTC as an LPN, had varied experiences both in acute and long term care as an RN and closed the chapter back in LTC. I have no regrets, many wonderful memories and stay in contact with many family members whose loved ones were entrusted to my care. As nurses we face or will face losses during our careers and showing emotion is not a weakness it is compassionate and should be the root of why we chose to be nurses.


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