Quote from judybsn
The woman who runs our facility is on antianxiolytics all the time, even when she had a lower stress job. Anxiety is just something she lives with, but she does a fabulous job in spite of it.
I wish I were confident enough in my abilities to claim the same, but this episode has shaken me up pretty badly and I'm very much aware of my vulnerability now that all the cards will be on the table. My doctor wasn't sure that I should go back to work even now, 2 1/2 weeks later, but I told him that I'm more anxious about losing pay every day that I'm out, and since we switched to a stronger antianxiety med I figured I should be OK after the first day or so.
So he wrote a work-release letter for me and outlined the accommodations he was recommending that I be given for my bipolar disorder and anxiety. Now those words are on paper in stark black and white, and now everyone from the business office manager to the top brass will know something really is wrong with me. That is not comforting. But at least there is documentation proving that I'm being treated and I'm doing what I can to get back to my usual level of functioning, so in the event that I'm termed I can at least draw unemployment benefits, to say nothing of calling on the ADA to back me up.
I'm just sorry to even have to think about these angles. It all sounds so cutthroat, and I'm not that way at all. If ANY of this were my fault, I'd just take whatever karma dishes out and slink off into the sunset; but I didn't ask
to be given this challenge. All I wanted was to stay at this job until the end of my career and give 100% every day, even if all I had to give was 100% of 75%. Maybe I still can. And while I'm still nervous about going in on Monday, I'm actually looking forward to seeing my residents again and using the new systems put in place while I was away.