Nursing & Depression - page 47
While visiting in the lounge one day, we discovered that every nurse there was on an anti-depressant. I have had 'Treatment Resistant Depression' for about 20 years--as long as I've been a nurse. ... Read More
May 1, '03ok, overkill responses, to old posts at that! Sorry! But maybe someone can get some use out of them ...
May 1, '03Just so you don't think you might be talking to yourself I have to tell you that your posts are passionate zoeboboey, not overkill. Passionate is something I haven't even been able to muster (for a while now).
I'm still having trouble with the whole priority shift -
"Ok, darlin, list of priorities.
That is all that matters right now, right? "
My friends talk about it, my shrink talks about it, problem is there are days when I just don't know... How do I make me a priority?
Me seems to take a backseat to the roles I have.
May 1, '03Originally posted by PamRNC
How do I make me a priority?
Me seems to take a backseat to the roles I have.
How do you make you a priority?
Practice. Tiny little bites. Like doing something just for you every day. And saying to yourself, "This is for ME!"
Thank you so much for the feedback, after I got to the end of this discussion and saw how many posts I'd posted I was aghast!
May 1, '03Ah, don't worry about what you call overkill. You can never be too caring or have too much insight. If your have things you feel are valuable to pass on, then it is a good idea to do so! As for the old posts, well, it all got me thinking back to where I was then and where I am now. Maybe an update is in order, and I will *try* to be brief about it ! <<<g>>>
In January I changed jobs so I work in the office doing scheduling, setting up things like labs, consults for adjunct services, occasionally take calls from patients or doctors (take orders), assist the other nurses in any way I can. Well, 4 months have passed. It has eased some stresses, such as not having to bring home paperwork or work on call evenings, or work any evenings or holidays. But in other ways it is very stressful, and some days I have just been on the verge on falling apart.
However, my meds have been adjusted, and that has helped a lot. I have bad days, yes. Sometimes they are very bad, sometimes I have them more often than I like, but in general, I feel like I am a normal person. I always bounce back to normal from my bad days. I usually shed my work stress shortly after I get home.
I also recently began to exercise and have more energy. I am eating better and drinking plenty of water. I have lost a lot of weight, which is a good thing. I still have body image issues, but that is improving.
That's the short version. (yeah, right, huh?!) So for once in my life, I have learned, a little bit, to take time for me.....taking the time to exercise for one. I also allow myself time to do this (use the computer). Then I can enjoy my time with my family more.
Keep posting, if you like! Your insights are refreshing!
May 1, '03Originally posted by sphinx
May 2, '03Hi guys and welcome to our new posters! Just wanting to share my life with fellow depressives...
I keep waiting for something to go wrong...anyone else do this? We've felt so bad for so long, hopeless, then when things get better we have a hard time with that...hmmm. At least I find myself waiting for the next catastrophe in my life...guess it's the result of a few very very bad years back to back. ;(
So far so good... tho I'm wary...hehe...off my meds, working PART TIME and digging in my heels with that one despite supersivors' frantic calls daily. We gotta be strong!!! Saying NO has been a big hurdle for me in my recovery...but a very essential one. Now I must learn to do this with my grown child...tough love. It is hard.
At least if I feel the 'old bad thoughts' taking hold again I WILL know what do do this time and can get back on my meds fast. Also can come here and bounce things off the rest of ya'll.
So glad you're here and hope you're ALL having a good day today !! (((HUGS))) to all here! :rollLast edit by mattsmom81 on May 2, '03
May 2, '03amen carpe de em......I hear ya......after 24 years in nursing I am burned out on doctors attitudes...management and their lack of compassion.....and the whole hospital setting......I am on a 10 day vacation as I write and 8 days into it feel wonderful....what does that tell ya?......I've been able to rest...exercise..eat right...spend time with my family and not think about the idiots I work with.....I wish I had some other career at this point...I may move to the south and sell peaches......ba humbug
May 2, '03half of my unit is on antidepressants....half of my unit has irritable bowel syndrome...over half of my unit have FMLA's......to me that speaks volumes.....we are all close knit....it's what manages us and the doctors we work with that make us crazy....anyone else feel this way?
May 2, '03do you think telling a supervisor at athat physically your body can't tolerate night shift is too wimpy and whiney?......do you think they believe that?....I too feel terrible when I work nights and have trouble sleeping on a normal schedule.....I refuse to have to ever work nights again but am afraid at a new job that's all I will be offered....what does one do?...
May 2, '03Originally posted by cindylouwho
do you think telling a supervisor at a that physically your body can't tolerate night shift is too wimpy and whiney?......do you think they believe that?....I too feel terrible when I work nights and have trouble sleeping on a normal schedule.....I refuse to have to ever work nights again but am afraid at a new job that's all I will be offered....what does one do?...
I was terrible on midnights. I was a danger to the patient (sleep deprived)and MN. affected my family also. (I was crabby and couldn't adjust)
Around where I work everythings changing to 12 hours...so I thought I'd have to work MN. if I started a new job. That was not true. If you apply to enough places and also hold your ground you want days...you'll be surprised the responses you'll get.
I had a couple people say nope 12 hour MN's are all we have to offer/another hospital offered me a 12 hour day position basically on the spot/another hospital interviewed me and kept saying are you sure you can't take a MN. position...I held my ground and said no...and two weeks after I was offered a position/ the final place I applied to I was offered a days position...even though 12 MN's is where they needed the most help.
May 3, '03zoeboboey-I'm not sure how far I'd credit my new position in my improvement over the past couple months. It has helped in some ways, such as not working all day then coming home and still having to do paperwork. Yet I still work more than an 8 hour day, but more around 45-46 hours a week rather then 50-60. So that helps. Never on call helps. But it can be very stressful, esp the scheduling aspect. I know what it is like to be on the other side, and am very empathetic, but I still have to make hard decisions-which make me feel guilty. I could make a laundry list of problems, but it would be quite boring. Lets suffice it to say, i usually come home with something new to gripe about. I suppose it's like that everywhere though. The big thing is, I hardly feel like a nurse anymore. I do things only an nurse can do like take verbal orders, and occasionally triage calls, but that's about it. The thought of going back in the field makes me turn green. The thought about going somewhere else is even worse.
A lot more I think is my meds. I now take an antidepressant, Trazadone for sleep, and 2 mood stabalizers. My psychiatrist finally dx me as bipolar, something that's been tossed around for some time now. Finally being on the *right* meds seems to have helped. The meds coupled with exercise and eating right (Mario, if you are still around,lurking or something, are you reading this????) have helped a lot. At the moment dealing with stress is my biggest obstacle.
I also still have a hard time getting up and doing things around the house. There's so much to do, it overwhelms me. This has always been a problem, and has only improved a little bit of late. Now that my mood has lifted some, I wonder if I am just plain lazy. I don't want to be. I try. It just seems there is not enough time in the day, and if I want to rest at all, there is not much time to exercise, wrok, be with my family, then do the other stuff. Tell me honestly, how do others manage the day to day stuff? I can keep the bathroom and kitchen clean between my husband and I, and the laundry, but vacuuming, dusting, gardening, etc-I just can't seem to do? Anyone have any ideas?Last edit by sphinx on May 3, '03
May 3, '03Mattsmom-
Glad to hear you are doing better. Yes, I know what you mean about waiting/expecting things to get worse. But it sounds like you've picked yourself up and gotten on the right track, and I am pullin' for ya!!!!
I still am not quite there-I have not gotten to where I can say no so easily. I need to work on that one. I'll keep you in mind, as an inspiration.
May 3, '03Wow! Where do I begin?
I think I first want to say to Mario. Its okay to be who you are, which in my eyes is someone who is very oriented to what a text book gives you. My fiance is the same way. When we were first dating I accused him of being too "textbook." That you can't get everything about life from a book or a documentary. There are just some things that are explained through human emotion and action rather than something someone wrote on a peice of paper. I had and still continue to get Dave to understand this when it comes to depression. There are days when I lay in bed and I don't want to come out. He says to me, "What can I do to fix it?" You can't. There is no fixing, just let it run its course.
Here is my personal experience:
When I was younger, 11year old or something like this, I was taken to a series of psychologist and psychiatrists because I was presenting some abnormal behaviors (My mom is a well studied Speech Pathologist, who has an interest in psychology). I was then diagnosed with "Clinical Depression." They put me in group therapy for children whose parents were divorced and a perscription for something I can't remember the name of. I did these things for a couple of years and finally when I was a Senior in HS I felt like I didn't need them anymore. Doc says okay. Mom says okay!
Skip a few years to the middle of the first quarter of Nursing School. I was 20 yo. I began to sleep more than normal. I didn't eat as much. I had horrible mood swings (though I kept my composure in clinicals). All around I just didn't feel good. So, I went to my PCP and told him what had been happening. He said that my depression may be a type where there are peaks and troughs. There may be periods in my life where I am okay to be off medications, but then in the same month I may need to go back on the meds for a period of time. Well, I'm 25 now and I have been on Celexa for five years now. I don't feel like I could come off of these meds, but I want to.
My point is this, if I had chosen another field the depression I felt at 20yo wouldn't have been so great as to begin the medication for another 5 years. As a nurse I feel as though we deal with a substantial amount of human emotions everday. More than the average career population. So, in my opinion I do think nurses suffer from a great deal of depression, more so than anyone else.
May our strength reach each other!