Depressed, or just "Life?"

JDougRN, BSN, RN · Mar 17, 2012

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Could it BE? a 100% consensus on AN???????? UREKA!!!!!! I've done it (Insert maniacal laughter here.....) Just kidding, but it is very interesting to me that almost everyone on here is seeing/feeling the same thing, but nowhere have I seen it addressed in the media. MOFOMEAT- that was a wonderful description, and perpetual student, I LOVE the idea that ppl put on their big girl/boy panties!!!!!

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Mar 17, 2012

The responses have been interesting. :)

I was born in the early 1980s and am in my early 30s, so I was probably born at the very beginning of what most people would call 'Generation Y' or 'the entitled generation.'

However, I did not have the easy upbringing that many of my peers enjoyed. I got to see the uglier parts of life in early and middle childhood due to a destructive father who drank to excess, used crack cocaine, occasionally hit my mother, refused to work for several years in a row, and so forth. Unlike my peers, I was not showered with praise or told that I was a winner. In fact, it was the opposite: I was frequently told that I was stupid.

Since I experienced the hard knocks earlier in life than most in my cohort generation, I possibly might be a bit more resilient than many people in my peer group. After all, a person has to stand on her own two feet to avoid the pervasive dysfunction and financial issues that my parents faced.

I admit that I withdraw from the world when the going gets tough. I also have problems with interpersonal relationships. I use defense mechanisms to get through life. I am an emotional overeater. However, I also must admit that I have been blessed up until this point.

GitanoRN, BSN, MSN, RN · Mar 17, 2012

admittedly, i am very sorry that you're friend is going through some difficult times. with that said, depression is an illness that covers a large spectrum. following this further, everybody gets the blues as they are referred to once in awhile,this is view as normal part of living. however, serious clinical depression can last for many months, involving excruciating and debilitating symptoms that can cause a loss of contact with reality. depression as we know it, brings distorted perceptions, everyone copes with life in a different manner, some better than others. however, depression involves abnormal alterations in bodily functioning, for example: mood swings, lack of appetite or excessive food consumption, alteration in sleep, lack of energy, lack of hope and despair, disinterest in life itself. moreover, depressed patients are either unable to sleep or sleep too much. in conclusion, depression is a highly serious in balance of the brain, which left untreated it could claim the life of its victim. therefore, what you have described could be “life coping” and your friend is very lucky to have you in her life, at a time when she needs all the understanding and support that only a friend can offer. wishing you and your friend the very best of what life can offer…aloha~

Pudnluv, ASN, RN · Mar 17, 2012

What blows my mind, is the number of teens coming in on anti depressants. It seems that there is a trend to put the label on every young person who doesn't get good grades or is a star athlete as depressed. Remember the days of teenage angst. We all went through it. Now a days, it's "I got in a fight with my boyfriend, I'm depressed", so we give them a pill. Or my child is doing poorly in algerbra, I think he's depressed. C'mon, folks, all teens are moody. It's normal. We are definitely becoming a society of the quick cure. Sometimes, the best cure for depression is to get up off your fanny and get out there. Put down the video games and go have some real human interaction.

That being said, I understand true depression. When every day is a struggle, and you just don't care about anything anymore, in spite of the fact that you are still going to work, still taking care of your family, still basically functioning in autopilot, maybe it is time to talk to someone about it. I myself was in that situation. I went to work, smiled and laughed, but inside felt completely broken. I loved my job, loved my family, but could not shake the emptiness inside. I started on an antidepressant and what a difference it made. I finally feel that my brain is working normally and I can actually think clearly again.

So all in all, I understand the need for anti depressants, but I still maintain that too many people are quick to use the label depression. Sometimes life is hard, sometimes things don't go your way. Pull up your pants and deal with it.

Silverlight2010 · Mar 17, 2012

But some adolescents do genuinely have a major depressive disorder. Depression or other mental health disorders don't always wait until adulthood. The feedback I've gotten from some mental health professionals is that some adults they are seeing in their practice might be doing better if intervention had begun earlier.

netglow, ASN, RN · Mar 17, 2012

Well here is how you assess: Is it a normal response to her life situation? Is this an abnormal response?

I think it is normal. Having a baby means you have to make money. You can't just cut it short for yourself and deal. You have to make money and make a home to support that baby. This is a huge shock if not really understood before becoming pregnant and suddenly realizing neither parent has firm income. This is stress that will stay until money comes in.

Here's what will help. Both parents getting some money coming in. It does wonders for everything. Husband might still be a drag, but, if she were to get a job and make some decent money she could also "know" that she could dump him and be OK with baby. That, for a woman, even if the hubby isn't a loser is HUGE.

Simply Complicated · Mar 17, 2012

First, I think there are different levels of depression. Being depressed doesn't have to mean the so depressed, can't get out of bed type that someone else referred to. But there is also a huge difference between feeling blue, frustrated and overwhelmed with your life, and having trouble coping with the stressors in your life, and actually dealing with depression.

So many people want a quick fix, so it's easy to turn to medications. Dr's don't have time for therapy, they want you in and out, so again it's a quick fix to prescribe a med, the patient is in and out, and generally feeling content and satisfied their Dr. met their needs.

I'm sure it also affects it, that so many people's lifestyles have become so much more sedentary. People are not getting the fresh air and activity they used to get, which helps improve the mood. People would rather sit and watch another TV show after dinner, rather than go take that walk as a family.

mazy · Mar 17, 2012

I'm not sure that the percentage of the population with depression has changed. It's just that we are much more open to talking about it nowadays; there is less of a stigma.

Also, now with all the meds available, it has become perceived of as a something with medical basis, that can be treated, managed, and cured, rather than just a lack of moral fortitude and self-involved mushiness that is shameful. Which is the way it was perceived many years ago.

So, I'm not really sure that we are seeing more depression per se because of the changes in culture, technology, or society. I just think we are more aware of it, and more willing to take a clinical approach to it as a quality of life issue that can be fixed.

Wrench Party · Mar 17, 2012

I'm in my late 20s, so I was fully a 90s baby. It boggled my mind that I was the only one of my friends in high school

NOT on anti-depressants. It made we wonder what was wrong with me that I wasn't diagnosed. (My mom being an

RN and actually seeing mental illness as it was, probably had a huge hand in that factor).

Still, we grew up with the concept of "go outside and play" because PCs were not a common occurrence yet,

and we were expected to keep ourselves occupied, socialize with other kids and exercise.

The Internet generation (born late 80s onward) is mentally toast, IMO. They've been deprived of the chance to

be kids and experience the outside world, and use their imaginations. Huge factors I think in battling obesity,

boredom and lack of creativity.

romie · Mar 17, 2012

Thanks Jdoug and all of the poster on this intriguing thread. I had prepared a very long and winded response which I immediately deleted and opted for the following:

Sounds like the first and foremost thing she needs is continued friendship and emotional support that only people like Jdoug can provide. As far as meds are concerned--hell maybe she needs ECT or TCM therapy or new cocaregiver. There is even stem cell replacement therapy in the works for depression. Does she need this or just regular lunch dates with a listening ear?

romie · Mar 17, 2012

and now for the long response:

I thank Jdoug (the OP) and the respondents on this intriguing post. I have a lot of ideas churning in my brain about the whole depression thing (thanks to 10+ years of liberals arts education) so I'm speaking from not only a clinical perspective, but a socio-cultural-what-the-f-is-the human-condition perspective.

Jdoug's friend should probably, because I am assuming that she lives in the United States and we are a very competitive country-seek some professional advice that will not be found on this forum. No offense to any of my fellow nurses but what we say here ain't going to reimburse her insurance company like a few strokes of a psychiatrist pen will. Also, I couldn't sleep knowing that the new child is being taken care of in that type of environment, while it's okay right now, could become bad very quickly.

There is the whole East/ West perspective on depression. Fact is that I'm assuming most forum members are participants of the western society and therefor have to appreciate depression from the Western perspective.

According to the WHO, by 2020, depression will be the number one cause of disability. It's cost to society is not measurable. And depression happens to be the number one lethal type of mental illness. Few people kill themselves due to schizophrenia or dissoaciative fugue. Depression causes more deaths than any other mental illness. Jdoug obviously knows that depression is a real and deadly affliction.

On the other hand, can I tell you how sick I am watching ads on TV for medications that are designed solely for the purpose of growing out your eyelashes and eyebrows? Ever heard of mascara? Gosh, even I have used mascara a few times in my life.

You also get the case of people who are not really clinically depressed who are just really competitive types who will get a fluoextine prescription just for the extra edge on the competition. That issue I haven't even begun to get my head around.

From a liberal arts perspective I'm reminded of novels and movies like Blade Runner and Johnny Mnemonic where people have debilitated from too much information. We are given entirely too many options and have too much information and are overloaded by choices, pressure to succeed. My parents were considered successful if my father got a job straight out of highschool and kept it, bought a house, a car and got a pension. Today, you have to have a masters degree ( I have one, but little good it does) and you will change jobs 100 times and there will be no pension and you wont be considered successful unless your child gets accepted into the most exclusive Montessori School, you win a Pulitizer or are deemed better looking than Paris Hilton by the latest reality TV show or You Tube channel.

So I would say that it is really tough these days. I cannot imagine being a child in this day in age when I spent my summers swimming in the lake all day and lollygagging with my best friends on my bike instead of taking Sullivan courses in order to ace not my SAT, but my PSAT!

I think we have too much artifact in our lives that are causing real medical and psychological problems. Remember that stress is a real cause of heart disease. I'm under 35 and grew up with a rotary telephone, can operate a computer running on BASIC and know how to use a can opener that isn't attached to the underside of a cabinet. This is not the way that life is supposed to be and I don't have any answers.

Again, I would suggest a lunch date and strong shoulder to cry on. From there, who knows.

(steps off the soap box)

romie · Mar 17, 2012

Your last paragraph was concise in a way I can only dream of. I was born in 78 and stayed outside in the summers playing in the yard or the lake or the woods until it was dark. Too bad our last generation of parents have only raised kids who only want to be pop stars.