Anyone Bipolar??? - page 7

I was wondering if anyone is, or knows of any successful bipolar nurses. I am non-medicated but cope with my symptoms via behavior modification and therapy. I do not want to rely on medication if I... Read More

  1. by   bluegeegoo2
    I describe my hypomania/mania as the "too toos". I am "too" happy, angry, horny (well... I am!) or too sad, too enthused, too excitable, too full of too many ideas, too inspired, too moved, too involved, too alert, I could just go on forever. "Hyperbole" is one word that describes mania - everything is the bEST, the greatEST, the moST, the cutEST, etc...
    Oh how I do agree! It's all or none, never "in between". (Whatever that is). I've been up up UP lately, so haven't spent too much time in one spot. Too busy trying to remodel the entire house all at once... Never fear, I have a med review in 4 days so I'll just ride the tide until then. Maybe I should lay off of the caffeine? :selfbonk:
  2. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from bluegeegoo2
    Oh how I do agree! It's all or none, never "in between". (Whatever that is). I've been up up UP lately, so haven't spent too much time in one spot. Too busy trying to remodel the entire house all at once... Never fear, I have a med review in 4 days so I'll just ride the tide until then. Maybe I should lay off of the caffeine? :selfbonk:
    I'd lay off the caffeine, sure! lol... and when it's me revving up, I find some way to get at least 8 hrs sleep! I take benadryl for that. Once you start revving up it is hard to get back down, or even WANT to - so I make myself get that sleep! I wouldn't wait for an appt, if you can't get it under control - you don't want to fly off the handle (maybe literally).

    Just my humble opinion, I don't know exactly how revved up you are - but I'd use caution! And if you have prns for sleep or mania I'd use them!
  3. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Well as some of you might have figured I am back on bipolar meds. It has been a year and a half and last summer I was hypomanic and barely made it through. I had to use a LOT of behavioral and non-medication techniques to stay grounded. It was pretty stressful and tiring. You KNOW that hypomania is not always unpleasant, so it was very tough. I have friends who tell me NOW that they were concerned at the time, sigh. I had asked them to tell me AT the time - but maybe they tried.

    Anyway this fall I have been super depressed, yes it seems situational too but the bottom line is the anxiety and depression are such that I haven't been able to work since December 9. Pardon me God but DAMN I had hoped I would not be in this position. Part of me feels I have failed spiritually. Anyway - I am back on meds and will be doing a partial hospital program. I am not as bad off as I was, I was having a lot of suicidal thoughts a couple months ago but so dang stubborn... and did not share that.

    So now that I am better but NOT functional I did decide to go back on meds. I don't know how far down I will go or actually am, I decided to get back on social security, take care of my neck after I get the insurance started again (was supposed to see a chiropractor for neck pain since last summer, the MRI was negative...), and then figure out where I am at vocationally. I know I can do SOMEthing once I get better, but I have to quit reaching so far ahead of what my "system" can take, stress wise. Nursing ALWAYS kills me. I would like to re-train to be able to do MDS's, get away from the clinical aspect, maybe I could do that. Hard to get a job in that w/o experience unfortunately. Sigh...

    I wish I was able to just "jump back on" but I know I need to take this step by step and not jump in over my head AGAIN... I need a Mommy...

    Hope all are fine...

    xo
  4. by   blueheaven
    I was diagnosed with major depression back in the mid 80's. Spent 3 lovely weeks in a psych hospital that I worked per diem at for said depression. Stayed on prozac for a long time and tapered off. Took me quite a while but then I started down the slippery slope again. This time I did something about it before it got really bad.

    Anyway, after moving here from another state, I found a PD here who diagnosed me with Bipolar type 2, ADD, depression. It really rang a bell for me. I knew that all my symptoms didn't fit into the depression catagory. Grouchy, irritable, perfectionistic, paranoid YUK! A real not fun person to be around at times. I didn't realize that the days where I felt great, happy and could take on the world was hypomania (BTW I loved those days) Never became full blown mania. I tend toward the depressive end of the scale but I am thankful that I'm on an even keel right now with meds and support.
  5. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from blueheaven
    I was diagnosed with major depression back in the mid 80's. Spent 3 lovely weeks in a psych hospital that I worked per diem at for said depression. Stayed on prozac for a long time and tapered off. Took me quite a while but then I started down the slippery slope again. This time I did something about it before it got really bad.

    Anyway, after moving here from another state, I found a PD here who diagnosed me with Bipolar type 2, ADD, depression. It really rang a bell for me. I knew that all my symptoms didn't fit into the depression catagory. Grouchy, irritable, perfectionistic, paranoid YUK! A real not fun person to be around at times. I didn't realize that the days where I felt great, happy and could take on the world was hypomania (BTW I loved those days) Never became full blown mania. I tend toward the depressive end of the scale but I am thankful that I'm on an even keel right now with meds and support.

    Thank you. It's nice to talk to somebody who gets it. REALLY. I haven't really talked to anyone who gets it for a long time because I was quote "ok"... lol ... so thanks...
  6. by   stevieg
    hi from England!

    I am a student nurse with 18 months to go. I have been reading this thread with great enthusiasm and feel it is very supportive. Firstly I think well done to everyone who have took hold of this condition and used it as a positive to help others. I am 34 yr old male and I have always known i am different to the others since my early teens but could never put my finger on it. I have suffered with hypomanic episodes followed by depressive episodes, i can be at the top of my game but then feel a complete loser. I have had many careers but never exceeded above entry level despite achieving high status popularity and recognition when the goiing got tough I moverd into another career therefore never reaching my full potential but didnt know why i did this. eventually i found i was good as a support worker for people with mental problems and now am training to be a mental health nurse. over time I have wondered if i suffer from a condition and have questioned personality disorder, ADHD major depression ( but where do the highs come in?) and felt i cant be bi polar as no psychotic or delusional symptoms present . also my episodes arent severe enough to be hospitalised. Id go the drs and he would say depression and hand out prozac like shutting a baby up. In the end its only through my studies i came across the term CYCLOTHYMIA which hit the nail on the head. my dr seemed puzzled with this term but agreed and now i will see a psychiatrist for CBT. because Cyclothymia is a mild form of bipolar it means people dont tend to become to ill yet still has big impacts on their life. It is worrying that if i wasnt studying this fied id never be diagnosed and concerns me how many others out there have this condition and suffer in silence accepting it is just who they are.

    I am now releived to find an answer and get treatment but now faced with uncertainty about my appropriateness to practice. I know i am a fantastic nurse but will others see that. when the goings good with me its untouchable but when the going gets tough....well u know the rest!!

    regards from tamworth , England.
  7. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from stevieg
    hi from England!

    I am a student nurse with 18 months to go. I have been reading this thread with great enthusiasm and feel it is very supportive. Firstly I think well done to everyone who have took hold of this condition and used it as a positive to help others. I am 34 yr old male and I have always known i am different to the others since my early teens but could never put my finger on it. I have suffered with hypomanic episodes followed by depressive episodes, i can be at the top of my game but then feel a complete loser. I have had many careers but never exceeded above entry level despite achieving high status popularity and recognition when the goiing got tough I moverd into another career therefore never reaching my full potential but didnt know why i did this. eventually i found i was good as a support worker for people with mental problems and now am training to be a mental health nurse. over time I have wondered if i suffer from a condition and have questioned personality disorder, ADHD major depression ( but where do the highs come in?) and felt i cant be bi polar as no psychotic or delusional symptoms present . also my episodes arent severe enough to be hospitalised. Id go the drs and he would say depression and hand out prozac like shutting a baby up. In the end its only through my studies i came across the term CYCLOTHYMIA which hit the nail on the head. my dr seemed puzzled with this term but agreed and now i will see a psychiatrist for CBT. because Cyclothymia is a mild form of bipolar it means people dont tend to become to ill yet still has big impacts on their life. It is worrying that if i wasnt studying this fied id never be diagnosed and concerns me how many others out there have this condition and suffer in silence accepting it is just who they are.

    I am now releived to find an answer and get treatment but now faced with uncertainty about my appropriateness to practice. I know i am a fantastic nurse but will others see that. when the goings good with me its untouchable but when the going gets tough....well u know the rest!!

    regards from tamworth , England.

    HI Stevie!!

    Glad you wrote.

    Manic episodes don't necessarily have psychosis = mine has but not always. Looks like you are going in the right direction! Check in now and then and let us see how you are doing!

    As to your fitness to practice, if you are in regular contact w/ a professional and some good friends who will tell you when you're off - if you are honest with yourself and others - you may actually be a custom fit to working with the mentally ill. My providers don't disclose all their stuff but it is apparent just from comments some of them make that they know darn well what I am going thru.

    Take care! especially sleep. Don't let yourself go with less than 6 hrs on a regular basis, it's not healthy if you do have this illness. Lots more to watch but sleep is very very important.

  8. by   stevieg
    Hi Liddle noodnik

    thanks for the message as its very encouraging. to be honest its only this week i came across cyclothymia and after hours and hours of scrolling the net i discovered my experience fell into this category like a lock and key. when i read peoples narratives i felt as though i had been reunighted with a long lost twin to the point it has sent me slightly on a high to the point my wife is worried. I have become somewhat obsessed now. problem is i feel my low coming on now. over the last few days the fact that there is an explanation to me being different as overwhelmed me with relief that i can at last get some help instead of just helping others and neglecting myself. Ive even gone off on my usual tangent of silly ideas like " i shall write a book about this " however the reality is sinking in now and im starting to worry about the negatives of having to disclose this, the possibility that this may develop into bipolar type 2 and now i am worried about my young children inheriting this condition. I am now racked with guilt for having ill feelings towards my late father who I was estranged from as I am now beginning to realise he may have suffered all his life but due to his generation probably held his head high with pride whilst battling his alcoholism. hopefully i will wake up tomorrow in my optimistic stage. I will keep readers informed in how i get on when i tell me university. laters from the other side of the pond!(England).
  9. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from stevieg
    Hi Liddle noodnik

    thanks for the message as its very encouraging. to be honest its only this week i came across cyclothymia and after hours and hours of scrolling the net i discovered my experience fell into this category like a lock and key. when i read peoples narratives i felt as though i had been reunighted with a long lost twin to the point it has sent me slightly on a high to the point my wife is worried. I have become somewhat obsessed now. problem is i feel my low coming on now. over the last few days the fact that there is an explanation to me being different as overwhelmed me with relief that i can at last get some help instead of just helping others and neglecting myself. Ive even gone off on my usual tangent of silly ideas like " i shall write a book about this " however the reality is sinking in now and im starting to worry about the negatives of having to disclose this, the possibility that this may develop into bipolar type 2 and now i am worried about my young children inheriting this condition. I am now racked with guilt for having ill feelings towards my late father who I was estranged from as I am now beginning to realise he may have suffered all his life but due to his generation probably held his head high with pride whilst battling his alcoholism. hopefully i will wake up tomorrow in my optimistic stage. I will keep readers informed in how i get on when i tell me university. laters from the other side of the pond!(England).
    No, no no, the expression is "One DAY at a time," not one YEAR! lol... God love ya Stevie. Well it is very exciting to know there is help and your life could be different, and it will. There will be good periods and some rough. The main thing is to know you will not be miserable forever, AND the good days will not always stick around, but the majority can be good if you have the right attitude.

    And ha ha, I am into writing a book about it someday ...

    I am learning, maybe my SYMPTOMS won't always be gone, some days I will have them, but I can learn to function in spite of them, that is the lesson.

    Among others ha ha...

    hey, hang in there and tell wifey not to worry, you are still the same person you were "yesterday". and that you desperately despairingly infinitely love her hee hee
  10. by   phlox
    Quote from Liddle Noodnik
    Phlox did you delete your post?

    re your ? that people are not responding re the Texas organization you mentioned, this is a national and worldwide site and very few of all THOSE members admit to or share about being bipolar - so I imagine you are the only TX'er on this thread.

    Just a thought.

    xo
    Liddle Noodnik, I am still learning this vast site and have posted "Bipolar" questions in several areas on here. I don't remember deleting a post on this thread.

    I have anger issues when I am manic. I get very angry at my husband, the cats, my situation, everything. I become miserable within myself and miserable to be around. It is so real and so deep. It is all consuming. Prior to medication, I was frequently suicidal and made attempts. I was hospitalized a few times. I have been medicated with a cocktail of meds for 14 years now and take them perfectly. But I have severe sleep apnea that does not allow for the sleep I need. However, overall, I am a well controlled Bipolar.

    Also, I would feel more satisfied as a human being if I was working again, just like anyone else, and that may alliviate some symptoms of low self-esteem. I am living below poverty level now and it is very difficult right now to even buy food. Sometimes there is not enough money to make ends meet and that is very stressful when it goes on month after month and just gets worse. It is worse than I can say.

    I simply MUST get my license reinstated. My children and grandchildren need my help as well. Also, my parents are getting older. I feel like I have responsibility piling up on my shoulders.
  11. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Quote from phlox
    Liddle Noodnik, I am still learning this vast site and have posted "Bipolar" questions in several areas on here. I don't remember deleting a post on this thread.

    I have anger issues when I am manic. I get very angry at my husband, the cats, my situation, everything. I become miserable within myself and miserable to be around. It is so real and so deep. It is all consuming. Prior to medication, I was frequently suicidal and made attempts. I was hospitalized a few times. I have been medicated with a cocktail of meds for 14 years now and take them perfectly. But I have severe sleep apnea that does not allow for the sleep I need. However, overall, I am a well controlled Bipolar.

    Also, I would feel more satisfied as a human being if I was working again, just like anyone else, and that may alliviate some symptoms of low self-esteem. I am living below poverty level now and it is very difficult right now to even buy food. Sometimes there is not enough money to make ends meet and that is very stressful when it goes on month after month and just gets worse. It is worse than I can say.

    I simply MUST get my license reinstated. My children and grandchildren need my help as well. Also, my parents are getting older. I feel like I have responsibility piling up on my shoulders.

    it is a HUGE site. Well, I haven't anything to add other than what I wrote on your TX thread. I do hope you get to where you want to be! Please stay in touch! xo
  12. by   Liddle Noodnik
    Phlox and all,

    there has been a lot of recent activity r/t bipolar on the following thread (click here):

    http://allnurses.com/nurses-disabili...tal-94244.html
  13. by   annaRNC
    You are not required to disclose your diagnosis to anyone except for employee health when you start a new job. If you are diagnosed when you are already employed there is no reason to disclose the information at all. When I first became a nurse I disclosed and was required to get a letter from my MD stating that I was stable enough to practice and not be a "danger" to my patients. I had been stable for 3 years by that point and have been now stable for 7 years. To the OP--please don't rule out medication. I can appreciate wanting to do without it (as I tried to do for many years) but it has given me the stability I need to be an excellent nurse. There are a ton of support groups out there as well as NAMI (which is the national assoc. of mental illness) that can help too. None of my coworkers know because judgments are still out there about mental illness. I think BP has made me a better nurse and a lot more understanding of what some people might be going through. anna

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