Anyone Bipolar???

Liddle Noodnik · Feb 21, 2008

i'm starting to think i should just drop out and do something less stressful and less patient contact. nursing may not be for me, considering my disorder.

how stable have you been in general? how have you responded to periods of high stress in the past?

for me it has been worth it (20 + years) even tho i've had to take time off here and there. and i know it has been worth it to the patients i've cared for. now i am taking a long and possibly permanent break from patient care - we'll see... i still desire to work in it if i can at some point.

good luck to you. may i recommend kay jamison's book, an unquiet mind, she's a doctor (psychiatrist) w/ bipolar and she relates her experiences rather well!

GCS99 · Feb 22, 2008

how stable have you been in general? how have you responded to periods of high stress in the past?
for me it has been worth it (20 + years) even tho i've had to take time off here and there. and i know it has been worth it to the patients i've cared for. now i am taking a long and possibly permanent break from patient care - we'll see... i still desire to work in it if i can at some point.
good luck to you. may i recommend kay jamison's book, an unquiet mind, she's a doctor (psychiatrist) w/ bipolar and she relates her experiences rather well!

i dont believe i'm stable. my moods are still inconsistent. i'm currently in a central service tech externship while i wait for nursing school. my instructor gave me a pre-evaluation and says i need to work on my self-modivation and confidence. he says i'm inconsistent and i think its because of my moods. i've been stressing about continuing nursing school its been affecting my thought process. there are so many red flags why i shouldnt become a nurse. yet, when someone mentions job stability and salary... i reconsider dropping out.

Liddle Noodnik · Feb 23, 2008

i dont believe i'm stable. my moods are still inconsistent. i'm currently in a central service tech externship while i wait for nursing school. my instructor gave me a pre-evaluation and says i need to work on my self-modivation and confidence. he says i'm inconsistent and i think its because of my moods. i've been stressing about continuing nursing school its been affecting my thought process. there are so many red flags why i shouldnt become a nurse. yet, when someone mentions job stability and salary... i reconsider dropping out.

If you are struggling you could just drop one course and see if it's more manageable, there is nothing that says you have to work 40 hrs when you get out, either.

How is your spiritual side? I have found that developing that aspect of my recovery has been essential!!!

NZ_RN · May 14, 2008

i'm a nursing student with bipolar disorder. i am conflicted everyday thinking about if I could manage the physical/emotional stress that being a nurse intails. reading various blogs, i notice many nurses with bipolar have either lost their license or take breaks from working. this might be a self-confidence issue but i'm starting to think i can't/should not be a nurse. i'm worried about becoming symtomatic and possibly harming a patient. anxiety and stress will be a big factor. i have experienced 4 episodes within the past 8 years. i still have yet to grab a grip on control management. i just try to take my meds on times, sleep enough, and don't over-do anything. i truly am tried of getting sick and having to start over and pick up the pieces. i want this to be my last time recovering. i'm starting to think i should just drop out and do something less stressful and less patient contact. nursing may not be for me, considering my disorder.

Hi GCS99,

I am now three years out from completing my nursing education and was diagnosed with bipolar back in 1998. It seems as though you are being too hard on yourself! It seems to be a common aspect amongst BP sufferers. Admittedly every semester of my degree I reached crisis point but I do believe that once you're out nursing it will never feel as hard. Twelve hour shifts allow a good break to rest and recover whilst being a student you never feel like you have time off, or if you do take a break you feel guilty. Also, maybe working in a less stressful area of nursing is a good idea, like in a primary health care centre, or Community Health. What I'm saying is I don't think you should quit your studies, even if you move into a different job your nursing degree will open doors for you, and once you start working you might find you do better because you'll have a more stable existence, being a studnt is so hard! I wish you all the best, you can do it!

Also, a thank you to all on this thread, it's great to know I'm not alone! BP is something I have kept to myself in life to avoid the judgement of people, especially wokmates, and I have felt ashamed of it.

Liddle Noodnik · May 15, 2008

Also, a thank you to all on this thread, it's great to know I'm not alone! BP is something I have kept to myself in life to avoid the judgement of people, especially wokmates, and I have felt ashamed of it.

Nice to meet you and hear from you - check back in now and then, k? :)

inthesky · May 27, 2008

i have bipolar as well. I am a new grad and I have gotten through my first 3 months with good evaluations. im actually pretty good at my job, but working night shift is destabilizing me. I'm going through sleep meds like crazy.. swinging in between stages of laying in bed crying and irritible restlessness and energetic optimism. I think i could handle the stress of the job if i could just have some quality sleep. Handling stress is very cognitive and I've worked really hard..but this sleep crap is something i just cant control! I sleep many hours, but just keep waking up. I really do think that people with bipolar can hold demanding jobs, but i think we should avoid night shift and get regular psych care (even when we feel good!! =P )

Liddle Noodnik · May 28, 2008

i have bipolar as well. I am a new grad and I have gotten through my first 3 months with good evaluations. im actually pretty good at my job, but working night shift is destabilizing me. I'm going through sleep meds like crazy.. swinging in between stages of laying in bed crying and irritible restlessness and energetic optimism. I think i could handle the stress of the job if i could just have some quality sleep. Handling stress is very cognitive and I've worked really hard..but this sleep crap is something i just cant control! I sleep many hours, but just keep waking up. I really do think that people with bipolar can hold demanding jobs, but i think we should avoid night shift and get regular psych care (even when we feel good!! =P )

I always preferred night shift but my shrink was always recommending I get off them - that they wreaked havoc w/ DEPRESSION especially. But also, lack of sleep will certainly set one up for a MANIC state as well... think your advice is wise!

hulahut · Jun 16, 2008

Hi, all. I am new to the site and joined d/t noting the BPD messages. I, too, am bipolar. I have been an RN for 19yrs. and a darn good one, too. I was diagnosed correctly in Fall of 2003. Before that I was only treated for depression because I only went to the MD when I felt like crap. After reading about BPD, I went to a psychiatrist and he agreed I was indeed bipolar. I was placed on new meds and functioned well for the next 4 yrs. with a few med adjustments in between. But, this year everything escalated. I crashed & burned in Feb. and only recovered well enough to return to work in April. I was placed on Lithium in addition to the Lamictal I was on previous. However, within 2 months, I am back on the roller coaster from hell. I have poor concentration & alternately feel like jumping out of my skin or hiding under the covers for life. Geodon was added but I'm unable to tolerate it. The odd thing is I work as a Psychiatric RN! While this does give me intimate knowledge into their feelings, it also makes it painfully aware to me that I may have to leave the nursing profession for the sake of my patients and myself. I am deathly afraid I will come unglued at work and traumatize the patients, not to mention some of the staff. While they (the staff) are aware of my BPD, since this last episode, some of them have taken to "hovering" over everything I do and say. Did I mention my paranoia? (Ha, ha). I guess my question is...how will I know for sure that it's time to hang up the ol' stethoscope? When I'm controlled, I'm great, but I wonder if I will ever again feel controlled. And I don't want to make such a decision if I'm not in the right frame of mind. My MD thinks I can recover again, but I have mountains of bills to pay and am a single Mom besides. Income is rather important for those things. Anyone out there able to give this chick some advice?? All will be appreciated.

Liddle Noodnik · Jun 16, 2008

All will be appreciated.

Have you seen https://allnurses.com/forums/f296/nurses-struggling-mental-illness-94244.html ?

All I can say is been there done that - and keep doing the best you can. I suspect you will know long before anyone else that it is time to hang it up.

Good luck!

inthesky · Jun 16, 2008

Bipolar is technically a medical illness and you should look into emergency medical leave (FMLA --i think =P.. im new at this). Bipolar disorder is also covered by the 1990 American with Disabilities Law. If you still want to practice, I think you should continue 'after' you get stabilized which could take weeks, depending. I'm a psych nurse as well with bipolar disorder. I was rendered unable to work recently due to being agitated and difficulty concentrating due to racing thoughts. As you know, having episodes is the nature of the disorder and i don't think it means you have to quit if you don't want to. If you are paranoid and jumpy, it probably is not safe to practice at the moment.

Let's say you got into a car wreck and had a bunch of surgeries.. you would take a good chunk of emergency leave and then get back to work right? Do you have a psych doc who will work with you?

Recovering from a bad episode myself, i wish you the very best

hulahut · Jun 18, 2008

Thank you both for the advice and sharing your stories. I returned to my psychiatrist and he believes it was the addition of Geodon that triggered the mania and exacerbation my symptoms. Needless to say, I am no longer on that stuff. He raised my Lithium to TID and that has seemed to help immensley. In fact, I am cleared to return to work Saturday. Never ceases to amaze me what a little tweaking of meds can do. Hopefully this will hold me in a stable pattern for quite a while. Things are looking up! I'm just wondering, has anyone else had such a reaction to Geodan?

Liddle Noodnik · Jun 19, 2008

Thank you both for the advice and sharing your stories. I returned to my psychiatrist and he believes it was the addition of Geodon that triggered the mania and exacerbation my symptoms. Needless to say, I am no longer on that stuff. He raised my Lithium to TID and that has seemed to help immensley. In fact, I am cleared to return to work Saturday. Never ceases to amaze me what a little tweaking of meds can do. Hopefully this will hold me in a stable pattern for quite a while. Things are looking up! I'm just wondering, has anyone else had such a reaction to Geodan?

I guess I didn't catch this the first time. I had a horrible reaction to Geodon - felt like I had to jump out a window to make that feeling inside stop. Got very manic. Wasn't suicidal or wanting to self harm, it was like something horrible was inside me. Ended up hospitalized til it passed. (shudder)

Seroquel did the same thing. NOT FUN.