Funny & Cute Things Our Demented Patients Say - page 5

by TheCommuter 21,285 Views | 76 Comments Senior Moderator

Anyone who works around the demented elderly population can attest to the fact that they sometimes say the darndest things. Mr. Rider is a pseudonym for the slightly plump octogenarian nursing home resident who had some... Read More


  1. 8
    A patient with dementia sings to his bedside sitter:

    "Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I love your fat a$$
    But I'll still cheat on you!"

    He had us all rolling on the floor with laughter.
    NutmeggeRN, LTCNS, nightnurse28, and 5 others like this.
  2. 0
    The thread next to this is how the elderly are devalued. This kind of thread seems to add to that attitude.
  3. 8
    Quote from CapeCodMermaid
    The thread next to this is how the elderly are devalued. This kind of thread seems to add to that attitude.
    I'm the one who wrote the article about how the elderly are devalued, and I am also the author of this article.

    I do not feel that sharing the funny, witty, and cute statements made by demented elderly residents devalues them in any form or fashion. I've previously mentioned that the healthcare workers who care about the welfare of this population are laughing with them, and not at them. There is a significant difference.

    We can either recall their statements with fondness for the elder and a healthy sense of humor, or we can recall them with sheer horror and sadness for their declining cognitive function. The former, in my humble opinion, is milder for all involved, including the residents.
  4. 5
    Quote from CapeCodMermaid
    The thread next to this is how the elderly are devalued. This kind of thread seems to add to that attitude.
    Someone needs a sense of humor injection! Stat!
    NurseQT, LTCNS, SoldierNurse22, and 2 others like this.
  5. 0
    I have a sense of humor, thank you. There is a fine line between laughing with someone and laughing at them. Perhaps I am a bit over sensitive today since it was my 11th day of work without a break AND I had to talk to the staff about NOT calling residents who can't hear deaffies.
  6. 4
    I wasn't there when your staff said that, but I'm guessing there was no real disrespect intended. As long as there was no malice and they were talking only amongst themselves, I don't see the harm. I've heard residents referred to as "walkie-talkies", "tube feeders", "totals", "drugies" etc. And not just in LTC. It's even more prevalent in hospitals. They're just labels we use. No, it's not the most professional way to talk, but we're only human. Trust me, doctors talk like this amongst themselves, too. Not that serious. If you go around *looking* for something to be upset and indignant about, you'll find it every time. Focus on the stuff that *really* matters and let the little stuff go. JMHO.
    LTCNS, DeLanaHarvickWannabe, TJ'sMOM, and 1 other like this.
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    Yesterday, I had the sweetest patient with dementia, in her 90's. Every once in a while she would look at me with pursed lips and narrow her eyes and say "you.....are a wicked, wicked woman." She didn't like me to do anything to her, bp check, She said this to me when I changed her iv transparent dressing. She really was the sweetest lady when her family was with her.
  8. 2
    I worked in a LTC facility as a CNA for a short time before being accepted into nursing school. I was on the floor below the dementia unit but there was still some spillover to our floor and a LOT of borderline elders. I not only got to observe a lot of these amusing things going on but heard many stories from seasoned aides. I'll never, as long as I live, forget the story about Mrs Z:

    Mrs Z was 98 years old and really shouold have been on the dementia ward but there was no room. She was, well...ENTHUSIASTIC about the opposite sex and propositioned every elderly gentleman on our floor as well as the few male nurses and aides. She even started flashing residents in the dining room so after that they started putting her shirts on backwards. She was frequently caught masturbating and would moan quite loudly. And she would tell anyone at all who would listen about her late husband's lovemaking prowess, extolling the virtues of his, well...ya know.

    One night she said to her nurse that all she wanted was to have sex one more time before she died. Just one last lay and she could die happy. The nurse was moved by how sincere Mrs. Z was, and she went out the next day and bought her a vibrating "implement". She gave it to Mrs Z who was as ecstatic as all get-out. She left Mrs. Z to enjoy her present, and that very night Mrs. Z passed in her sleep with a huge grin on her face.
    tayloramaRN2be and CloudySue like this.
  9. 0
    Quote from GrnTea
    I had a lady in the throes of the DTs yelling and screaming about who knows what, and not responding to any quiet words, tocuh, or anything else. The rest of the ICu was getting a little edgy about it. So I said to her, sotto voce, "Barbara, you have to be quiet, you'll wake the baby." And she looked me right in the eye and said, calmly, "There's no baby here, I'm in the hospital," and went right back to screaming about who knows what.
    Hilarious.
  10. 0
    The other night I went into one of my rt's room to flush her G tube.
    She looked at me and smiled and said "HIIIIIII! Yer sexy!!" =)
    I laughed and then said "I like your babies" (she has these two baby
    dolls that she cuddles and sleeps with.
    She said "Thank you.... they're sexy TOO!"


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