Venting here about clod of a husband

suzannasue · Dec 6, 2002

Ummm....yeah !!!!

Whatever you do, DO NOT COOK ANYTHING FOR HIM/FRIEND....

Take kiddies to get a burger or something....so very typical of some men....I hear there are a few who are different,but I have never seen evidence if this....will keep you close to my heart this weekend... just don't kill him...NO man is worth a prison sentence...

KC CHICK · Dec 6, 2002

Well, you could go away for the weekend yourself....to study and have some peace and quiet.

After all, your hubby invited this person...HE should clean the house to prepare for HIS guest.

Also, if you're not there, you won't have to explain why the house is a mess when he doesn't clean it.

Is there a friend's home (perhaps a fellow student/study partner) you can take refuge in??? A relative you can take the kids to for the weekend? You should not be expected to entertain his business associate when you have so much to prepare for. Doesn't he remember what finals week was like?!

Just a few thoughts.

Anne

NurseWeasel · Dec 6, 2002

I do it to myself all the time, lol. I'm the one with the "open door" policy, and then sometimes I just want to scream when there are teenagers lolling all over the filth-encrusted, candywrapper-littered living room, dirty dishes all over the kitchen, sticky floors and skanky bathrooms to boot.

That's when I take a deep breath, go light an incense and chill for a few minutes. I figure if the mess bothers them they'll quit coming over... and if they're so shallow as to do so, we don't need 'em anyway. Then I get a reality check, get up, and go start cleaning.

Yes, it does say "Sucka" on my forehead. But it's my choice and these are my compromises. =) I just wanted to chime in to say that I know how frustrating it is, having guests when you have other priorities and feel forced to clean for them.

Try the incense thing, maybe a bath (even if you have to descum the tub first) with candles. You might feel better enough to tackle a minor cleaning afterward.

If you haven't yet, check out http://www.flylady.net - she's got a GREAT program for quick & dirty cleaning and maintenance, especially good for busy people.

kimtab · Dec 6, 2002

Tell your husband he can clean it up himself, ask your Mom/sister/cousin/babysitter to watch the kids and disappear so you can't possibly be embarrassed into cooking or cleaning.

Ya' gotta do what you gotta do!

Kim

Peeps Mcarthur · Dec 6, 2002

Let me begin by apologizing for the rest of my gender:imbar

I wanted to offer the compromises that my wife and I agreed to before the semester started. I have been in about the same situation before with my wife trying to get me to go somewhere(like Thanksgivig across country:rolleyes: ) during the week that I must devote to study.

Here's how it went down:

I do dishes/she cooks

I recycle laundry as much as possible/she does it when she can

If she can't do it,technicaly I know how.

The house gets picked-up by whomever is home before the scheduled occurence. The master bathroom is qurrantined for the visit so we can use it to dump everything efficiently.

It is agreed that nothing will get scheduled without first consulting my calendar, and getting my input.

When I first brought this up, there was resistance. I used the argument that to go to school and not get the best grades possible is throwing our money away. For $1300 every 4 months I could just get a countryclub membership. I could play golf for 12 hours a day instead and just be a trophy husband!:chuckle

Seriously, marriage is a commitment to eachother, not traditional gender roles. If he's too much of a neanderthal to help you, hire a maid service, leave the kids with a sitter, and tell him to call for pizza....................but don't do it spitefuly, you should get him to see that you are offering a solution. If he doesn't like it, he needs to make a plan that is beneficial, and acceptable to you as well.:kiss

2banurse · Dec 6, 2002

KC Chick hit it right on the head...get out of there...whether it is with a fellow student or even just a motel room, you have to do what is good for you. Maybe that will make your husband open up his eyes and see that his actions are very selfish, especially at this time of the year.

prmenrs, RN · Dec 6, 2002

Now, THERE's a husband who wants to be celibate for a while! lol!

Peeps has a great point--The cost of you going to school! I'm sure his business associate would be UNimpressed by him not taking care of THAT investment!

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · Dec 6, 2002

I say just clean the bathroom, to keep your dignity, and order out.

Or find a babysitter for the kids if possible, then vacate the premises. ANything else happens after that it isn't your problem, after all you weren't even there right?

BadBird, BSN, RN · Dec 6, 2002

Sounds like you need to check into a hotel for the weekend, order room service and study. Let you husband and his friend tend to the kids.

tonicareer · Dec 6, 2002

Study and sleep and pretend he and his friend don't exist. This was your husbands sabatage attempt.

amblessing · Dec 6, 2002

Peeps - you need to clone yourself and send one to my house

Thanks everyone - I promise not to poison, kill, or provoke my husband and his house guest - BUT if he EVER does this to me again . . . I just may change my mind :devil: I have 3 MORE semesters before graduating!