Should boyfriend help me out?

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I am attending a community college for an accelerated nursing program. I currently work at a small local restaurant and get paid only minimum wage. My school schedule only allows me to work 3 days a week including weekends; therefore, I am making no money. I'm not qualified for student aid and the school I attend does not participate in any student loan programs. I've tried applying at other restaurants such as Chili's and Olive Garden but I don't get hired because they do training in mornings which I cannot attend because of school hours. My parents are putting gas in my car, but they can only help out so much. I still have a car note to pay and credit card bill. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 3 years. I have several girls in my class and their boyfriend is helping them out. Many girls were even able to quit their jobs because their boyfriend will give them money. I hate to work more hours and start failing school because of it. Do you think my boyfriend should be helping me out? Should he offer to put gas in my car, give me $50 or so? I don't think it is his obligation to help me out, but I feel he should.

Specializes in NICU.
Expect him to be a selfish, controlling tightwad husband.

But only if that's what you want and what you want to put up with.

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Specializes in SRNA.
Wow, I am offended. My boyfriend has been supporting me for the past 2 years and will continue to do so until I finish my clinicals. After he graduated with a BS in Engineering he figured he could make enough money for both of us. And he does. We just got engaged last year and will be married in August.......

Well it seems as if you're in a bit of a different situation, as you are engaged to be married mere months from now and your lives/expenses are already fused together in some way. The OP's situation is not defined as such.

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Wow, I am offended. My boyfriend has been supporting me for the past 2 years and will continue to do so until I finish my clinicals. After he graduated with a BS in Engineering he figured he could make enough money for both of us. And he does. We just got engaged last year and will be married in August.......

So is he a sucker? Heck no. Him supporting me is a benefit to the both of us and our future. I can finish school quicker and without financial stress (Yes, I have a car loan, car insurance, and a cell phone bill that totals up to $800/month), and when I am done we will have a healthy income to allow us to sell our condo, purchase a larger home, and enjoy our life together.

I appreciate EVERYTHING he does for me. I did not ASK for a 2 carat diamond ring, or for him to pay all the bills,etc. I did not SUCKER him into doing any of the things he does. He is a caring, generous and good hearted person who wants to see me achieve my dream of being an RN.

Watch what you say about other people's relationships. Not everyone has had a nasty experience like you have.

Sorry for the rant......but it really bugs me when people say things like that.

Your situation is totally different than the OP's. For one, you are engaged, for two y'all are living together. The OP is not engaged to her "boyfriend", and still living in her parents home and expecting her boyfriend to support her financially. That's a VERY big difference in my book.

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im a guy, so this is from that perspective

i agree with alot of the posters, that he doesnt really owe you anything

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Specializes in Day program consultant DD/MR.

You are lucky that you live with your parents. When I was in nursing school (lvn 12 mos) I learned real quick the differences between needs and wants. You will have to sacrafice alot during nursing school but in the end you will benefit. I would agree your BF does not have any obligation to help you out financially. If you go out and he pays look at that as his treat and getting you out of the house. If he is aware that you are shorton $$ and he offeres to help out it would be nice, but I would not depend on it.

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Wow, I am offended. My boyfriend has been supporting me for the past 2 years and will continue to do so until I finish my clinicals. After he graduated with a BS in Engineering he figured he could make enough money for both of us. And he does. We just got engaged last year and will be married in August.......

So is he a sucker? Heck no. Him supporting me is a benefit to the both of us and our future. I can finish school quicker and without financial stress (Yes, I have a car loan, car insurance, and a cell phone bill that totals up to $800/month), and when I am done we will have a healthy income to allow us to sell our condo, purchase a larger home, and enjoy our life together.

I appreciate EVERYTHING he does for me. I did not ASK for a 2 carat diamond ring, or for him to pay all the bills,etc. I did not SUCKER him into doing any of the things he does. He is a caring, generous and good hearted person who wants to see me achieve my dream of being an RN.

Watch what you say about other people's relationships. Not everyone has had a nasty experience like you have.

Sorry for the rant......but it really bugs me when people say things like that.

First of all, I never said I had a nasty experience, I simply said it just did not work out between the two of us. I guess it's safe to say that is what happens between most people these days though, isn't it? Second, you took my post way too personal. I was generalizing and I did not direct my comments towards you or your boyfriend as individuals. It certainly does make sense what you are doing only IF it really works out between two of you guys, but realize that does NOT happen for MOST people. I haven’t exactly just crawled out of the cave you know, although I do know of a few people for whom it’s been working out just great, most don’t find themselves in the same situation. Love is a beautiful thing but I always try to be realistic about it. I don’t ever plan my life with anyone, if my parents split after 15 years when I was just 10, how can I possibly be reassured it will never happen to me? I’m sorry if you feel offended but I stand where I stand, I can understand a married couple being in it together and supporting each other, but boyfriend/girlfriend of only two years? And you have your life and his life already planned out at what age, 23?

Now here is my rant.

I’m sorry but if you are looking for approval or sympathy from me you will not get it. After my parents got divorced I moved in with my father a couple years later just before I went to middle school. Although I grew up very poor, I never once felt sorry for myself. I never liked hand outs anyway and always looked to work somewhere under the table to make my own money. When I was 18 I graduated high school, I bought a plane ticket, packed my stuff with $600 in my pocket and flew to the other side of the country. When I got there I had no where to go except for a hotel which charged $98 for a 12 hour stay. I landed a job on a commercial fishing vessel and worked my ass off for several really, really cold months before coming back home. I do get tuition assistance but I also pay my rent, and everything that I have in my possession including my car and what’s in my bank account I earned through a lot of sweat and a lot of bruises, and even bled a little too. After that experience I knew that no matter what happens, if I’m ever on my own again without any help, I will be just fine and whatever goals I set for myself I will achieve. It might take me a little longer but it feels damn good to be able to do it on my own and I would never have it any other way.

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Wow, I am offended. My boyfriend has been supporting me for the past 2 years and will continue to do so until I finish my clinicals. After he graduated with a BS in Engineering he figured he could make enough money for both of us. And he does. We just got engaged last year and will be married in August.......

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The OP is in a TOTALLY different situation then you. You are engaged, she is with a highschool boyfriend. You guys live together, she lives with her parents! You are 23, she is 18. That is five yrs different, more yrs to mature. She hopefully just graduated highschool, probably the end of MAy, not even a month ago. Totally different.

I agree with others, Sell your car, get a realiable POS. I know fashion is important when your young, but whats more important, fashion or goals?Your car insurance is probably with your parents since your 18, so it is probably low. You only have a credit card, usually minimal payments are below 40 dollars a month. You dont have a mortage, rent, utilities, groceries, water bill, heat! Get real, you have no clue about financial responsibility.

Most 18yr that dont get finanical aide, get loans, sch. ships, grants. That is normal, plus it is a community college, the most 10,000 dollars. Maybe more but doubt it. I go to one, and pay for it myself. Time to mature and strive to be a nurse.

Sry to sound harsh, but your young, no kids. If your engaged, living together, married, or have kids THEN it is different. From reading your other posts, your only in A&P. or are you in a nursing program or just taking pre-q's? Def, not if your just doing pre-q's I worked 40-60 hrs a week then. Nursing school is a lot harder!

Just my opinion.

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Just wanted to clarify something so that nobody else takes offense. I do not believe everybody should struggle and do everything on their own just like I did. That was just my way because I wanted it to be so that's what i did. It is certainly better to get help and finish school as fast as you can so you can start making the big bucks, nothing wrong with that. I do not intend to offend anybody here, do whatever you need to do to get through but I will always have more respect for those who did it on their own. I will always have more respect for those moms caring for their kids and working full time jobs and going to school at the same time than for those with no kids and money coming in from somebody else's pocket. That is just the way I see it.

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Specializes in DOU.

I think at 18, one of your primary goals should be to learn how to manage money and live on a budget. These are qualities you will need when you move out and become independent. For this (and many other less PC reasons) I think your boyfriend should keep his money in his own pocket.

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Specializes in Pediatric Intensive Care, Urgent Care.

I'm more concerned about how you school doesn't articipate in the national loan program??? no FA at your school...is it even accredited?!?!?

Mex

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

To clear this up, my fiance started supporting me long before we were engaged. Now that we are engaged and getting married in a month, YES it is certainly different. I agree with that.

No, I am not only in A&P. I am actually IN A NURSING program. I took A&P almost 3 years ago.

So, yes...my situation is completely different than the OP's at the present time. I wasn't even referring to that. It was this one particular post referring to girl's boyfriends as "suckers" for supporting them while in school. I thought that was a nasty thing to say.

When my fiance started paying my bills so I could continue on with school at a full time pace, I was 20 years old. Not too much older than the OP.

All in all, I didn't come here to get flamed. I have enough things going on in my life than to get belittled over the internet, just wanted to point out that I felt that statement was an extreme generalization.

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Specializes in Med/Surg.

One more thing, fusion86--- we have been together for 7 years, not two. He has been supporting be financially for a little over 2 years. I am 23 and he is 24....and very happy :heartbeat

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