Not sure how to deal with this future classmate... - page 4

Hi all. I start nursing school in January. I'm a member of a facebook group for my nursing cohort in order to keep up with new information. I also use it to befriend future classmates. In my personal... Read More

  1. by   NotAllWhoWandeRN
    Trust. Your. Instincts. At the very least, he is ignoring your passive disinterest and that's not a good thing.

    Be direct. If you do not clearly communicate that you're not interested in a social relationship he will twist that into plausible deniability if it turns out he's a major creep.

    If he is not a major creep, your saying "I'm not interested in contact outside the classroom; please do not contact me" might embarrass him a little, but it might teach him to pay attention to cues that he's giving unwanted attention, and he will not turn it into classroom drama. If he IS a major creep, you will have established proof of a clear boundary if he should violate that boundary in the future. If he approaches you in person, send e-mails on your school account describing what he did and tell him he should stop because you're uncomfortable. If that isn't enough to stop him, then it is reasonable to get the school involved.

    You do not need to tolerate bad behavior in the name of keeping peace; that's how the truly awful people are able to continue operating without consequence. If he's a sophisticated creep he's checking how you react to having your boundaries pushed - and if you are passive or give him friendly responses he will take that as permission to keep pushing.

    You should not need to communicate ownership by another man (describing boyfriend as jealous, etc) and frankly my concern is that type of statement suggests that if you weren't in a relationship you might be interested.
  2. by   direw0lf
    So when you go on a job interview for a pca or nurse you are going to be asked scenario questions or if you take a nurse battery test for a job, also asks scenario questions. Some of those questions pertain to how you would handle coworkers/team members you do not get along with or who's style you dislike. If you answer "go to the manager!" That's not the right answer that a hiring manager wants to read/hear at all. So apply that to this situation you are going through now. You may not like this guy's style but he's done nothing wrong, especially since you never mentioned having a bf. Im not saying it's your fault. From an outsiders opinion, I do not see anything wrong. I wouldn't jump to conclusions like about if he really meant to text you happy thanksgiving or not. If it really bothers you, block his number. For the future, getting along with people in your cohort and whereever you end up working is going to be a lifesaver one day so I wouldn't want any enemies.

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