No friend in nursing school?

Nursing Students General Students

Published

So I just started my last two years of nursing school, for which I had to transfer. I am at a small school an hour away from me, so I am living in he dorms. there are only 150 people in the school, and only 60 in my class. There are about 12 girls from my class also living in the dorms. Since I have to spend all my time at the dorms, I figured I would try to become friends with these girls, but they want nothing to do with me. They were all friends before this, and are a little older than me(Im 19, they are 21-25). I tried studying with them, talking to them, or going on trips with them but they ignore me, leave the room, or talk about me. I feel so alone and overwhelmed with school work, and I am scared of failing out because of a failed social life! I am getting so depressed hearing everyone go out without me, and Im scared if I study alone for tests, I will get lost. Please help any tips? Can I do it by myself?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Honestly, I wouldn't want to have those kinds of friends. Do you study better with a group? I prefer studying alone (less distraction) but I like having company. So I would study with friends who weren't in my major and we would quietly study. It was nice because we would take breaks together and it also provided that social aspect. Don't limit yourself to friends within your program!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Hospice.

Do not surround yourself with people who don't like you. I agree with PP-study with friends outside the Nursing circle.

My best friends in college were a Sociology major, a Business major, my roommate (Nursing, one year ahead) and a friend of the Business major (also Nursing, one year ahead). I also hung with some of the Theatre crowd.

Sometimes it's nice having friends outside your immediate interest. You can learn a lot from them.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in hospice, HH, LTC, ER,OR.

Make other friends, and email your teacher if you are confused. Chances are slim that you will see them again after nursing school, and you don't need that type of negativity in your life at the present moment.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Hospital medicine; NP precepting; staff education.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. I know that isolation and it can wreak havoc on your psyche. But know that this will pass and it won't matter in the long run. Your priorities now need to be your studies. I like the idea of having other groups of friends that may not be nurses, but can support you in study habits.

Don't give up!

Good luck.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Gastroenterology, PACU.

I don't think a two year age gap is going to make or break anything. Maybe it's something you did or a part of your personality that clashes with theirs. Or maybe they're just awful human beings who won't pass the NCLEX anyway. Who knows? And who cares? It sucks, OP, but I'm with everyone else when they say you should just make other friends. I only had a few friends in nursing school, but then, the girls who didn't like me (for being a know-it-all or studying too much, of all things) didn't pass boards. So I went into the working world and have a ton of RN friends from my first job, who I still see, and this current one. And my best friends from college are still my best friends period - an engineer, a Spanish teacher, a computer scientist, an HR rep, and a business woman.

And you know what? They LOOOOOOOOOOOVE hearing my medical stories. It breaks up their days. I like hearing about my friend's students, or what another friend of mine is working on building, etc.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I'm sorry you're having that added challenge... just getting through nursing school is challenging enough! If those gals are acting that way towards you, it's probably for the best to not be included in their circle. You deserve to surround yourself with those who care about you and will help you succeed. With that being said, yes, you can survive on your own. I've had friends go through the program finding that relying on themselves was much better than trying to deal with some of the people in their cohort. Personally, I found that studying for exams was much better done alone, as groups have a tendency to get off topic, and my study time was limited. I purchased Saunders NCLEX book, and whatever topic was discussed in class, I studied it in that book, and did the practice questions that went with it. What a lifesaver that was!!! Good luck to you, and hold your head high. You can do this!!!!! :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×

To be honest, the way they are treating you is so immature.. why are they even going to nursing school?? it definitely has nothing to do with the age group, those girls seem stuck up and unfriendly. i would either try meeting other people outside of the campus or get some guy friends. Guys are so much easier to hang out with no drama. Good Luck!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I have a hard time fitting in and making friends. What I find helps me make friends the best is when I show confidence and show I have some good things to share. I don't know if you do or don't, but speak up in class if you don't, the whole class is going to see you're the one to be friends with. And if that never happens, you'll get through this!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Surgical Cardiovascular ICU.

Hey! Don't sweat it too much. I used to care when people didn't like me because I thought I did something wrong or that I was too shy, but with time I learned that not everybody is going to like you even if you are the nicest person in the world. Do as what other people have said, go out and meet other people from different programs. Maybe join a club or do an activity at your school to meet other people. My mom always says, "you are not made out of gold or diamond for everybody to like you." Those girls are missing out and if they talk about you behind your back, do you really want friends like that? I just started my nursing program and I am very shy but I am putting myself out there. I'm ok with everybody else except this one girl who flat out ignores me and is sometimes rude to me. Idk what I did to her since it is literally our second week of classes, but oh well. You will do well and you will slowly find your niche :) Good luck!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I agree with all the PP comments but another approach could be dedicating yourself to your assignments and studying. If you get lost use youtube or post a question on here. You have a community of people that know what you're going through as far as school so utilize it. It's their loss if they do not want to befriend you. Frank Sinatra once said the best revenge is massive success so ace those tests with the help of youtube and all the available mnemonics!!! Some youtube resources are simple nursing, medcram, khanacademy and many more. :) It's very likely that people will start to notice your success and gravitate towards you and by that point you'll be able to pick who you wish to be friends with ;)

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Early Intervention, Nsg. Education.

One thought is to set up an appointment with one of your professors or CI's for a little extra help with a specific concept you're currently studying. Then, ask her/him if any other students are looking for a study partner; not a study group, just two of you. He/she may have someone in mind. I'm willing to bet that there are students in your class who feel exactly the same as you are feeling, but haven't said or done anything about it due to the complex social structure and hierarchy of The Almighty Study Group.

My mother used to tell my sisters and I, "Don't look for friends. Look for activities and places that surround you with people and activities you enjoy, and friends will find you." She was right. Now, I tell my teenage kids the same things Mom told me, and I think, "Ohmygosh, I'm turning into my mother!" 😱. I just *know* that she's watching me from Heaven, laughing her tush off!

And I hope and pray that someday, Someday, my kids will do the same thing! 😆

Hang in there! This, too, shall pass.

mm

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Add a Comment