Never live with a fellow student!

JillyPlot · Oct 2, 2012

I know you're here to vent, but I had someone like that in my first degree. I began doing my homework in the library and with other classmates. When my roommate asked for my work, I began intentionally giving her misinformation so she would realize I'm not there to do her work for her.

ashevilleboxer, BSN · Oct 2, 2012

The problem is, is that she's completely oblivious to how she acts. She'll always complain about how she doesn't get why she's single or has no friends.

Maybe that is the problem no one has told her how she is acting, instead of trying to spare her feelings maybe you should tell her yours. Not necessarily put her in her place just let her know how you feel about the situation.

zoe92 · Oct 2, 2012

It stinks you are living with someone like that. I agree with JillyPlot: tell her your recorder is busted, spend more time in the library, and give her misinformed homework.

itsmejuli · Oct 2, 2012

Stand up for yourself and tell her how you feel. Don't be mad when you do it, be calm and assertive.

You shouldn't have to go to the library to study, close your bedroom door and lock it. Tell her flat out that you have your own studying to do and you have no time to help her.

allnurses Guide · Oct 3, 2012

Do not give her misinformation! Deliberate sabotage is dishonorable.

But you do not have to let her have your recordings. Or your notes. Or study with her. The word is "no". If you feel you must explain, say you are not comfortable with enabling her to miss class, which you are in fact doing. Tell her your study habits are too different from hers, and you need to concentrate without distraction, also true.

If the drama becomes too intense, find a different living situation for the next semester. Stand up for yourself, as you will have to be able to do for your patients when the time comes.

JillyPlot · Oct 3, 2012

JBudd, I used the wrong word by saying misinformation. I would give more like the bare minimum and make sure to give No details and sometimes just sort of turn what was being asked into a statement so I didn't really give wrong answers. At times I also would say I didn't have the assignment done yet.

zoe92 · Oct 3, 2012

I think that's where it is hard to determine how you should handle the situation. You need to stand up for yourself without making your home life any more unbearable. There is a fine line in between the two.

Devochka · Oct 4, 2012

Venting is awesome, but you are missing out on a good nursing lesson: How to deal with difficult people. Have you ever taken a minute to sit down with her and tell her how you feel and that it would work better for you b/c of your adhd to be able to study by yourself? If she doesn't know that what she is doing is bothering you and you haven't told her, she is not able to address it. This is also a leadership skill. Don't necessarily put her in her place, but have an open and honest, non-confrontational talk. Maybe invite her to a coffee shop and discuss it with her to make it seem less confrontational and more friendly. Good luck. :)

Streamline2010 · Oct 5, 2012

Just say No to the recorder. Tell her you're though with lending that to her and she needs to go to class becuse sitting for the NCLEX requires a certain numbre of hours of classroom instruction. She needs to go if she wants to find out what is begin taught there. Most schools have a maximum % of lecture hours that you're allowed to miss. If she never goes, she can probably be kicked out, I would imagine.

Then go study in your room. Just tell her that it's more efficient for you with your ADHD and these are the new rules: She goes to class, and she does all of her own work. If she is noisy or disruptive, go to Lowes or Home Depot or a hardware store and buy some earplugs.

NightBloomCereus · Oct 5, 2012

It's irritating just to read about what you're going through. I'm so sorry to hear this. Your roommate is bringing you down emotionally and eventually it could affect your grades as well, so you have to be direct and assertive for your own good (and hers, too). Don't let her take advantage of you. If it doesn't work, look for another living arrangement for next semester. Let us know what happens.

SENSUALBLISSINFL, BSN, RN · Oct 12, 2012

First I am sorry of your living situation, it must be very uncomfortable for you.

I do agree with most previous posts. You must tell her how you feel and yes, say NO. You are doing a diservice to her and to our profession. She will not have the right foundation to sit for boards and if she is lucky enough to pass (I can imagine how she will hunt you to study for NCLEX as well), what kind of nurse is she going to become? She will not be a safe nurse because she will be cutting corners.

The way I see it, if you put the effort to make it and sit for class, tape lectures and such, so should she. And be honest to her too about the way you study, your learning styles are different and you find her style confusing. Be honest and diplomatic about it, but do not short change yourself.

Hopefully, you will accept our advise, though you came only to vent.