Need advice about parents

renerian, BSN, RN · Sep 25, 2003

As a mother of 5, four in college you sound very unhappy at home. Why don't you move out on your own? It is possible to work full time and go to school. I did it, three of my kids are doing it and all three live on their own.

Try talking to you dad and if he keeps riding you, move out.

JMHO,

renerian

AmyLiz · Sep 25, 2003

Sometimes you just have to ignore what people say & stubbornly go forward with your plans. This seems to be harder to do when you're young & living with your folks. I know I was not the strong, independant, head-strong person then that I am today.

As for you walking away from Sinclair...maybe you did, maybe you didn't. But I know that it seems like at Sinclair, if you go back, you can always "start over" in a way with them. Sure, you'll have to work at raising your gpa, but you can do that. And if you go to Kettering...same thing applies. All you have to do is put your nose to the grindstone & work your rear off to make good grades. That would show your dad...if you brought home your grade card with a high gpa!

Good luck! It'll be worth it in the end. :)

bonjovigirl · Sep 25, 2003

Oh man can I hear ya.

All I can say is this. I used to hear it about every little aspect of my life (down to the amount of mousse I used in my hair) and one day I looked at my older brother who did everything they told him to and cannot make a single decision in his life. He has no control over anything and he is 35.

That made me look at how I reacted to the things I heard. You cannot stop certian people from saying what they will. THey are who they are. You can only control YOU, and your decisions, and the way you take what they say. I know this is a hard thing to learn to do, but once I was able to say and MEAN "I don't hear you" then my life changed dramatically for the better. It is a skilll that has served me well in life. At the end of the day you have to do what makes you happy, or whats right for you. And I heard it in your voice (type) when you said you'd show them when you succeeded. Thats a great way to look at things, but don't show anyone anything. Do what you want to do, whats best for you and your child, don't worry about proving yourself right. If they don't believe your decision is right, then that *may* never change. DO NOT base your level of success on anyone.

I am so sorry for being longwinded, and preachy but I was where you are (minus child) and it was a hard road to change the way I looked at the world. Your main goal should be to break away from them, either physically or emotionally. (oh and study the rest of your world will be alot easier then. No ones voice in your head but your own.

Good luck. You sound like a very strong person who knows what she wants.

Oh and I do second the vote, if AT ALL possible move out. If need be, make it possible.

goober4699 · Sep 27, 2003

Gosh this must be awful, I too am a young mom (21 with a four yearold!) however I have recieved overwhelming support from my mom and my fiance. My mom is a nurse and has been so for around 20 some years. When I was eighteen I expressed interest in Nursing and so my mom set me up to work as a unit clerk at the hospital she works (i am still there three years later) She told me not to work too much and just to sign on per diem this way I would not be required to work and yet could get alot of time if need be. She indicated that the number one thing I should focus on is bettering my life for my child and also very imporatantly my self. My daughter and her dad have dated forever and so he has always been 100% supportive of whatever I need whenever I need it so he ensured he would have a confy schedule so that I could attend school full time (dosent hurt that his dad is his employer) I read posts like this and am reminded of how lucky I am to have the support that I do, it is very important especially when your young, driven and trying to raise a child without going into debt. My only advice would be to try and discuss how you are feeling with your dad in hopes that he would listen. My dad passed away when I was very young and I was left to be raised by my mom and his dad (affectionality known by everyone as POP) he gave me everything I ever wanted and since I still had a year of highschool left after my daughter was born he watched her every day and still ended up giving me money for things. If you ever need to talk just Im me! I would be happy to try and cheer your day up, I am so sorry that your family dosent seem to be very supportive of your very noble decision to be a nurse and start out as an assistant! I have to admit while in school I sure am enjoying my comfy nurses station job LOL!!! good luck with everything I am sure you will make it through!

NuyoricanSoul · Sep 28, 2003

Do what your heart tells you. If it's nursing all the way then strive for it and you'll make it and prove them wrong. Remember that you are doing this for you and your child's future. Save some money if you can and try to move out but don't do it if you will be stressed over money. No extra stress needed while in school.

My boyfriend is so supportive he pays for classes and I pay for books. My father is supportive but my mom is iffy about me being back in school. Have to ignore her and follow my heart.

MandyInMS · Sep 28, 2003

The best revenge is SUCCESS!!!

Whether the person putting you down is a parent,husband/wife,friend or foe....prove 'um wrong

lashon20 · Sep 28, 2003

Thank you all for such encouraging words and advice, I really appreciate it.:)