My husband won't let me do bed baths - page 7

I told my husband that we are doing bed baths in lab on Friday. He looked at me strange and asked me why on earth I would want to do that. I told him that it is just something you do as a nurse. He... Read More

  1. by   MarySunshine
    Let's give this guy the benefit of the doubt...maybe he just has a problem with a healthy, young, NON-PATIENT/NON-NURSE getting to touch his wife when it could just as easily be a female instead. I still totally disagree with him, but that might be the only issue he has...we're assigning A LOT of bad traits to him in this thread so far.
  2. by   mandeeh
    I am in school right now, and we didn't even have to give bed baths to mannequins. The first bath I gave was to an elderly patient in the nursing home and it was actually a shower. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable with a fellow student of any gender giving me a bed bath! We are friends and classmates, the nurse/patient relationship is different. I really hope that I don't have to get that intimate with any of my classmates! My classmates have and I have no interest in knowing anything quite that personal about each other.
  3. by   Jamesdotter
    Regarding bathing each other in class: what I remember of the experience was how COLD it was. The person who mentioned getting the patient's perspective had it right--I always remembered that and tried to do baths fast, warm and as covered as possible. OMG--that was almost 50 years ago!
  4. by   BlueEyedRN
    I'm confused about all the responses to this post. When did the OP say that her husband had a problem with her giving bed baths? From what I read of her posts, he had a problem with her possibly getting a bed bath from a male student. So when did he become an insecure sexist control freak who won't let her be a nurse? I tell my husband he can't do stuff all the time and he tells me as well. It's not a big deal. It's setting boundaries and understanding what the other is and is not comfortable with. It's marriage. My husband probably wouldn't be crazy about some guy giving me a bed bath either. He's protective of his wife and I would be more upset if it didn't bother him at all.

    I was really surprised when I read through this post. It's mean! A nursing career really can put a strain on marriage, especially during nursing school. I don't think the best advice here is to tell him where to stick it. What needs to happen is some serious respectful communication about this profession and helping him be comfortable with his wife's new and unfamiliar life. And for this situation, what would it hurt to say, okay, I'll pair up with a girl since I can see this bothers you. Look at it from his perspective. I'd be confused and upset if my husband came home one day and said that the people in his office were going to strip down to shorts and a tank top and bathe each other, especially since I know that he's hot and some of the girls there are hot. This is not something that he should get used to. It's just weird.
  5. by   Deliasgone
    Quote from RebeccaJeanRN
    Kind of off-topic, but I still wonder why the nursing school does it like this. Ours did it too, and we were just embarrassed to be in shorts and washing each other's cellulite. But seriously, I wondered why we couldn't have just done mannekins? If it was to have real person practice, then without doing the really embarrassing parts (which we didn't- thankfully!!), what new thing did anyone learn? Who on earth hasn't washed someone's back or helped a grandma put cream on her legs, or some such other related experience? What the heck did we learn from each other in shorts that we couldn't have learned on a mannekin? Seemed a silly exercise to me and about as fun and arousing as receiving an enema...but back to husband issue...best that you help him get a better idea of what nursing is all about-SOON. You won't want to be having these kinds of battles over every new skill or real life experience in nursing clinicals!

    We worked on mannequins at my school and I wish we had worked on real people. Giving your first real live bed bath, pt xfer, etc is nothing like a plastic dummy!
  6. by   atrice
    My husband laughed at me when I told him we were doing bed baths on one another in lab. It's practice and allows you to feel partial empathy for the patient. It's not like the client, even being sick and incapacitated, does not have feelings and insecurities about the whole bed bath thing.
  7. by   Nurse-To-Be-Joy
    Quote from BlueEyedRN
    I'm confused about all the responses to this post. When did the OP say that her husband had a problem with her giving bed baths? From what I read of her posts, he had a problem with her possibly getting a bed bath from a male student. So when did he become an insecure sexist control freak who won't let her be a nurse? I tell my husband he can't do stuff all the time and he tells me as well. It's not a big deal. It's setting boundaries and understanding what the other is and is not comfortable with. It's marriage. My husband probably wouldn't be crazy about some guy giving me a bed bath either. He's protective of his wife and I would be more upset if it didn't bother him at all.

    I was really surprised when I read through this post. It's mean! A nursing career really can put a strain on marriage, especially during nursing school. I don't think the best advice here is to tell him where to stick it. What needs to happen is some serious respectful communication about this profession and helping him be comfortable with his wife's new and unfamiliar life. And for this situation, what would it hurt to say, okay, I'll pair up with a girl since I can see this bothers you. Look at it from his perspective. I'd be confused and upset if my husband came home one day and said that the people in his office were going to strip down to shorts and a tank top and bathe each other, especially since I know that he's hot and some of the girls there are hot. This is not something that he should get used to. It's just weird.
    Finally, someone else sees it this way! I still don't see the need for nude bed baths in school. It's not that hard to do and you can easily practice this at home. I would definately be miffed if I came to school one day and the teacher announced we would be performing real bed baths on each other. Sorry, but I am modest. NO ONE sees me underneath my underwear other than my hubby and my doc. And bathing a sick patient who can't do it him/herself is NOT the same as giving one to your very alert, healthy classmate.
  8. by   caroladybelle
    Quote from Nurse-To-Be-Joy
    Finally, someone else sees it this way! I still don't see the need for nude bed baths in school. It's not that hard to do and you can easily practice this at home. I would definately be miffed if I came to school one day and the teacher announced we would be performing real bed baths on each other. Sorry, but I am modest. NO ONE sees me underneath my underwear other than my hubby and my doc. And bathing a sick patient who can't do it him/herself is NOT the same as giving one to your very alert, healthy classmate.
    No one is saying that there are NUDE bed bathes involved, and no one is seeing underneath underwear.

    The bed bathes on classmates are clothed, presumably in shorts and a short sleeved shirt.
  9. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    A spouse can be caring without acting like a parent.
  10. by   IrishIzCPNP
    It sounds like he doesn't want you to be on the receiving end...so I don't think you doing a catheter is going to be an issue (just based on what you wrote). Honestly...don't you have dummies for these? I wouldn't be too keen on other students giving me a bed bath. I've had a bed bath in the past as a patient and I didn't like it then. It's really not a nice experience when you are a young adult and totally relying on others. I wouldn't want to do it. I'll do it on real people on the floor and I will do it on dummies...I will not have a REAL bed bath with fellow students. I will do it to them...I won't get in the bed for that again.

    But is your husband bothered by something being done to you or the male aspect of nursing in general (you somebody having to touch men's privates)?
  11. by   Jules A
    Quote from BlueEyedRN
    I tell my husband he can't do stuff all the time and he tells me as well. It's not a big deal. It's setting boundaries and understanding what the other is and is not comfortable with. It's marriage. My husband probably wouldn't be crazy about some guy giving me a bed bath either. He's protective of his wife and I would be more upset if it didn't bother him at all.
    Lol, maybe I'm just lucky but neither my husband or myself "tell each other stuff we can't do all the time". Seriously though, being a nurse or nursing student is not the same as someone outside of the health care arena choosing to strip down to their underwear in front of collegues.
  12. by   Nascar nurse
    Quote from maryloufu
    Most of the naked parts I see belong in Ripley's believe it or not rather than Playgirl.

    rofl - oh how true!
  13. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    Lol, maybe I'm just lucky but neither my husband or myself "tell each other stuff we can't do all the time".
    Same here.

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