Im a tech in Oncology and we loose patients quite often. Sometimes its harder than others and its easy to get close to them as they live through their last days. Ive learned that each one of them has an enormous impact on how I see life every day. No matter how hard my job is or how rough my day was before that its nothing compared to what they go through.
I truly love hospice and love oncology and it has paved my career path as I enter into nursing school this year. I hope your experience with patient death is a positive influence in your life and career path. I know that sounds weird but it really can be a positive and allow us to value human life and work harder to take care of it.
On of the best pieces of advice I got was from an amazing experienced nurse. I was destroyed by one of my patients just falling apart, his family was falling apart and he was headed to hospice. I was in tears for the first time. She told me all the best nurses and most experienced nurses still cry, and thats ok.