Is your life really theirs?

gonzo1, ASN, RN · Jul 26, 2006

Sounds like you have a good grip on reality. Try it your way first, if that doesn't work then you can always try another way. Nursing is rewarding and worth the trouble it takes, but nothing is more important than family.

KaroSnowQueen, RN · Jul 26, 2006

Truthfully, it depends on you. How truly intelligent are you? How organized are you in terms of time management? Is your family flexible about spending time with you? Can you multi-task?

When I went to school, my family was non-supportive. My parents wouldn't babysit in emergencies. My (now ex-)Dh was a worthless drunk. I had three kids, 3, 2, and a newborn (born after first quarter). I have a clear clear memory of sitting at the dining room table at the typewriter (long before computers were common) nursing the baby, typing a paper with one hand, my 3-year-old at my knee talking to me, and the 2-year-old at my feet playing.

On the other hand, I passed, more than passed without a whole lot of trouble. I had time to take my kids to the park. I had time to go to Sunday dinner at my grandmother's house. BUT I didn't work a full time job either.

My oldest DD has no children, does have a DH. She worked a 36 hour week job, but is a screaming perfectionist, and barely came up for air all during RN school. I would have to call her and nag to get her to show up for twenty minutes at a family gathering.

So, it depends on you. You can make it what you want it, IMHO.

daisyrug · Jul 26, 2006

Thanks so much for the quick reply. I have a very supportive husband and family, so hopefully that will be worth alot going through the process. I'm truly excited for the experience and cannot wait to build memories. I look at the entire journey ahead as a gift, I truly feel I am blessed to have this opportunity in front of me.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Jul 26, 2006

It's great you have a supportive family.

The basic rule of thumb is 3 hours per credit hour of study time outside of school. 30 hours a week may sound like a lot but if you break it up into 7 days it's just a few hours a day, with some days spending many hours and other days just a few.

Nursing school is indeed a family affair. No need to put them on a back burner. However, some sacrifice is going to be expected from all of you. But you can have a life, just prioritize and organize.

Good luck!

Trauma Columnist · Jul 26, 2006

I really love nursing. Haven't always loved all the jobs I've done, but at the time they worked for me.

Your study habits and ability to grasp concepts really come into play when you study. For instance, for whatever reason, science concepts and nursing make total sense to me. I studied things once and did fine.

However, math concepts are still totally foreign to me - I am horrid at math. I spent so much time on math and still only got a C! It was a nightmare. So...studying is an individual thing and that will then free up some more family time.

Good luck.

pod184 · Jul 26, 2006

College is not the military. They do not "own" you.

You all must have taken some hardcore programs. I spent about five hours a week (seriously, at most) studying out of class and doing homework. I ended up with a BSN, a GPA in the mid 3s and the NCLEX shut down on me at 75 questions. Could I have studied a bit more and hit a 4.0? Yup, but I decided early on that I wanted a life outside of class.

You prioritize. School is absolutely important to concentrate on, but there is more to this world than homework and tests.

HitmanCFYA · Jul 26, 2006

It's not as bad as you hear.

I still worked a regular 40 hour/wk job.

Still race and maintain my race car.

Still raise close to 40 cattle.

Still have plenty of time to hang out with family and friends.

Still have time to feel guilty that i'm not studying more.

In 3 semesters so far, I have gotten 2 B's....so there is room for improvement, but I haven't seen a pay scale yet, that asked for your GPA

Ginny516 · Jul 26, 2006

Daisyrug...

I think that nursing school requires different sacrifices from person to person. Whenever I'm stressed out about any school work I think of what I will get out of all the hard work I put in! When it's all done, I'll be an RN!!! WOO HOO! It sounds like you have a great attitude and I think you will do great! Good luck to you!!

NoWaNrN, ASN, RN · Jul 26, 2006

school can be stressful but I think some like to play it up and make it sound harder than it is. The most stressful part for me was making sure all my bills were paid - not school. I think I was in a really great program too and that always helps alot.

FNPhopeful · Jul 26, 2006

All I keep hearing is that your life is theirs (instructors) while you are in nursing school and it's dreadful. Also, that you will not have any time for your family so you may as well let them know now, because if you want to succeed you need to dedicate at least an additional 30 hours aside from clinical/school time.
This seems crazy to me. I know it is going to be difficult, but really, isn't it what you make of it? Sure it can be alot of drama if you let it, but if you take it a day at a time and treat it like a full time job, won't that work?
My family is very important and comes first. I can't imagine putting them on the back burner and I won't. Will I make it with this attitude? Don't get me wrong I plan to study and be extremely focused, but I also plan on being with my family. Thoughts please???!!!! Thanks, just needing some positive words of advice!

They told me the SAME thing at orientation last week, "we now own you". Significant others will be doing the dishes, and to put a picture of yourself on the fridge so they remember who you are.

But I just cant believe that. There's always time for family, and lets face it while house work may slide, we simply cannot live day to day without stopping to do laundry, fix dinner, or do dishes.

Its only 2 years and it will fly by, then I can just do a RN-BSN online.

I would just find really good childcare so even if you have to spend an extra long day at school you'll know they're having fun. I am using financial aid to pay for childcare so they are in the best place possible. Because I dont need that extra worry of how they are faring.

I look at the "we own you now" as a warning to the less disciplined studiers, and since my program was a lottery there are likely many 'C' students.

Imafloat, BSN, RN · Jul 26, 2006

I replied earlier but my reply must be lost in cyberspace.

I wanted to add my 2 cents!

I am almost done with my program and there are times that I was super stressed, but that was only about a week every few months, like when everything was due and the kids were busy and I didn't have an opportunity to do my work. There are nights (not many) I have stayed up until 2 am finishing school work because I didn't want to miss a performance or competition. I decided early on that I chose to go back to school, and I wasn't gonig to let my kids suffer. At times my mostly supportive husband has been a real jerk, but we have made it through. I have managed to pull off a 4.0, although I am fine with B's too. There are some weeks that I don't touch any of my school work. Usually when that happens the next week I have to go sequester myself in my bedroom for a day to catch up, but it has worked. Nobody owns you...you sound like you have the right attitude.