Is anyone trying or thinking about trying to conceive during school?

  1. Hi Everyone!

    Am I out ot my mind CRAZY???? When DH and I first got married, we decided to start trying for a family 2 years after we were married (our 2 yr. anniversary was this past March). Well, about a year after we were married, I decided to go into nursing and we thought it best to postpone the babymaking till I finished school (which makes VERY logical sense!); however, it's been increasingly difficult to accept the idea of waiting till I'm 30 to have our first baby. DH ....like every man...thinks he has super sperm and I will get preggers the very first month we try Anyway, I'm not so convinced!

    When I was 17 I had surgery for dermoid tumors and they removed my right ovary and a 1/4 of my left ovary. My doctor says my remaining 3/4 of and ovary fx's normally and I'll be fine...but that doesn't stop the doubt in my mind! It took a friend of mine two years to conceive and another has been trying for over three year's now and is preparing to start fertility tx's. I just feel that I would prefer my strike-outs to happen while I'm in school and have something else to preoocupy my mind. I think I finally got throught to DH when I told him that having a family is more important to me than nursing and that I'd like to start trying to have a baby now. Don't get me wrong...Nursing is very important to me but I don't care if I finish my nursing program before or after the baby.

    I'm not even sure if I'll be admitted into the nursing program at my school...there's 90 seats available and 250 some applicants! And you better believe I'm not waiting 3+ years (ADN program) to start having a baby!!!! Anyway, DH has finally realized that I'm very serious about having a baby at this point in my life and that if pregnant during school, I would not forget about nursing...only postpone it for a year....he has agreed that we can start trying to conceive when I feel I'm ready.

    We are going on a cruise to the British Virgin Islands in January so I figured we would start right after the cruise! Now keep in mind that this is after 1st semester so even if I did get pregnant just out of the gate I'd still be able to finish my 1st year of nursing school, take off a year and then finish my 2nd year. Now, If it takes a year (like it does for most average people) I would be pregnant during my last semester and be able to grduate no problem (albeit pregnant!).

    So...does this seem crazy? Any input is welcome....sorry this is so long!

    ~Bean
    •  
  2. 25 Comments

  3. by   TeresaRN2b
    Well, I am pregnat now so I know going to school is possible. I am not taking nursing classes though till the Fall. I don't honestly feel it would be a wise idea to take nursing classes during pregnancy unless you are willing to take a semester off when the baby is due. If you are willing to sit out one semester for maternity leave then sure why not. I am sure you will have people tell you that's crazy that a baby will wait, but I truly understand where you're coming from and for me I wanted both.
  4. by   Hooligan
    Thanks Teresa!

    Most of my friends think I'm crazy...but then again...they're not married and having kids is the last thing they want now! OMG!!!! Your due today!?!? Good luck!!!!! I just saw your sig!! So I guess you do know first hand! Wow!
  5. by   USA987
    One of my classmates was pregnant, but she actually had to drop in the middle of the semester. She was so miserable sick with hyperemesis that she couldn't continue. I planned on starting nursing school in January 1996...6 mos. after my daughter was born and I couldn't do it. I couldn't convince myself that it was okay to put my baby into daycare (DH is Navy, so we didn't have any support system around us)!! Needless to say, now I'm FINALLY graduating this June!

    I would check on your schools readmission policies as well. Will you be able to return in good standing where you left off, etc.?

    Children are such an awesome blessing. I wish you much luck with whatever you decide.

    Christine
  6. by   LaVorneRN
    I know exactly what you are dealing with. My husband and I wanted to be married 5 years before starting. Then after 3 years of marriage I started school. Since I worked full time it took me six yrs. to finish(grad.last May). I personally struggled with the fact that I didn't want to wait till I was well into my 30's but I know my brain and capabilities and I knew I couldn't go to school while preggo. My husband is 4 years younger than me so age for him was never an issue. He too has supersperm (are our husbands related?) Now I am 34, a nurse who can't work due to last years carwreck, and because of that wreck we have had to put it off till this spring. Sometimes it bothers me that I will be 35-36 before having this baby I've wanted for so long. Sometimes when you plan, things don't always go as you expect. We had a nice, tidy little plan till the "Wreck of 2002" as we call it. If you think you are capable, do it. I know a girl who went into labor during finals of the last semester and you know what? She got through it and graduated on time and is an ICU nurse right now. It's do-able. To some it may sound crazy but it's between you and Supersperm and I have seen it done. Pray about it and do your thing!
  7. by   babynursewannab
    Well. Our plan was to have me graduate (Dec. 2004) and work 2 years to pay off bills and save money. That didn't happen.

    I just found out last week I am pregnant and due at the end of December. To be honest, being in the program I would say this certainly would not have happened by choice. I am happy as there was concern that I could not get pregnant again and waiting 3 1/2 more years to try was a big risk.

    However, if you do have the choice and do not yet know what your nursing program is like, I, personally would say wait. If you really, really want to have one soon, though, than you need to determine which is more important to you - uninterrupted focus time for school or starting your family. Neither is a wrong answer.
    I lost a child and know what is important in the world now. Yet, still I have concerns with this new one and the course of my career. So, you see, it is such a personal decision and all you can do is take in as much advice as you can so you can make a truly informed decision.

    Good luck and I'm sure you will do the best for you! :kiss
  8. by   peaceful2100
    Well, I have not conceived during school BUT my I know MANY, MANY people who have. My cousin has even conceived during medical school as a 3rd year student and will have the baby in June right before she starts her last year. Go with what you and your husband feels is right. Not what other people try to tell you not to do. Go with your hearts. MANY people start school and/or finish school with children or being pregnant or even both.
  9. by   kimmicoobug
    Oh wow. I went to school while pregnant. It is possible, but so hard. I dropped out after my first quarter (was planned this way). I was fine until I reached my last trimester, then the anemia set in, the moodiness, sciatic nerve pain. I then went back in after having my son, and honestly it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I had some depression because my son was having problems, and I just wasn't there for him. Trust vs. mistrust? My poor son definitely had mistrust. It was very taxing for me until this year. I actually wished that I decided to wait an extra year to go back in, but because of personal reasons, I decided this wasn't the best thing for myself or my kids.

    But, this was just my experience. If you time it right and have a wonderful support system (which unfortunately, I did not have this), it is 100% doable. I know of others who have done this. School should not be a reason to hold off having kids if this is what you want. Good luck to you and keep us posted to what you guys eventually decide to do.
  10. by   marilynmom
    No I dont think your crazy. I knwo a few gals who are in nursing school while preg but having a newborn or young child like that is NOT easy while in school. I am not saying it cant be done but its not easy. My first child had horrible colic and was a very "high needs" baby, no way could I have studied or evern worked outside the home when she was that little. I also suffered from post partum depression. But my second baby was the total opposite and I am back in school full time right after she turned a year old!

    I dont blame you for wanting to have that baby! Go get preg and it will all fall into place. Sometimes it may change the timing of things but it should not stop them from happening. I hope my post made sense. Its not something you can really "plan", you might have an easy preg or you might have a hard and painful achy morning sickness everyday one....you just never know. But if you want a baby that bad I would say go for it and see how it all works out! A a good support system to help with the baby and watch her for you so you can study, etc is a plus as well.

    Good luck, there is no right or wrong answer with this I dont think.

    Marilyn
  11. by   Hooligan
    I just wanted to thank you all for your responses!

    I told DH that I think I'd like to start in January but I'm going to explore the idea a little more when we're a little closer to the date. By that time I will (hopefully) have been admitted into the program and have my 1st semseter under my belt. I'll also have a better idea of what the program is like and if I think I can realistically handle going to school while caring for a baby. Not to sound cocky or arrogant (I've never had a baby or gone to nursing school so what do I know?) but I think I'll be able to handle it.

    I'm just really worried that I'm going to have difficulties getting pregnant and I'd rather not wait for a year or so AFTER I graduate to start doing fertility treatments. I'd prefer my year or so of trying unsuccessfully to happen while in school... then start fertility treatments if needed, after graduation. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm willing to take the chance that I may be a fertile mertile and end up preggers a little early! Perhaps if I'd never had any problems with my ovaries, I wouldn't mind waiting another year...but alas, I have and I think I'm going for it!

    Anyway, thanks you all so much for your replies!

    ~Bean
  12. by   nursing 101
    All I can say is that everyone has given good advice. Now the only thing I can add is that school will always be around. But your body might not. When you start hitting the 30's it gets harder to conceive. You can always have a child and go back to school. But they day you can't have a child... that's it!
    Follow your heart...
  13. by   PowerPuffGirl
    First of all, whatever you decide to try, best of luck!

    My main concern is that nursing school is stressful enough, do you want to add the additional stress of trying to concieve, perhaps thinking you are pregnant, and finding out that you are not? Or possibly having a miscarriage?
  14. by   Hooligan
    Originally posted by PowerPuffGirl
    First of all, whatever you decide to try, best of luck!

    My main concern is that nursing school is stressful enough, do you want to add the additional stress of trying to concieve, perhaps thinking you are pregnant, and finding out that you are not? Or possibly having a miscarriage?
    Thanks for your concern...and you bring up a valid point! I really don't think I'll have too much of a problem here...I'm going into this thinking that I won't be able to get pregnant right away so wondering about it or finding out that I'm not prego won't be too much of problem. As far as having a miscarriage goes...that would be tragedy at any time...and I think school would actually be a good outlet and place to focus my attention. I don't plan on my trying to conceive as being a stressful senario...quite the contrary...I feel that there would actually be less stress in actually trying to conceive because I would not be crushed each month if I find out that I'm not pregnant because I still have to finish school. However, If I wait till after graduation to get started I'm going to be so desperately hoping to get pregnant that it'll be a huge let down each month I don't conceive...Does this make any sense?


    All I can say is that everyone has given good advice. Now the only thing I can add is that school will always be around. But your body might not. When you start hitting the 30's it gets harder to conceive. You can always have a child and go back to school. But they day you can't have a child... that's it!
    I guess ultimately this sums up how I feel! Thanks!

    ~Bean

close