If not a BSN, then what?? Thinking of quitting>>>>

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I registered today to get some insight and guidance.

LONG story short. I am a 40 yo who married as a teen, had 4 children, but finally made it back to school. I always dreamed of being a nurse. I imagined a career of caring for others would be fulfilling and worthwhile. The fact that nursing pays well was a nice bonus.

SO, after a few years of working toward getting into to nursing school I finally made it! I started a competitive BSN program in Jan .

Problem is, I hate it. Now before I go on, let me just say that I do have anxiety (GAD and panic) AND family issues. Two of my four kids have mental heath issues and this takes a HUGE emotional toll. Not only that, but my husband and I are having major marriage problems after 22+ years of marriage. So yeah, I'm stressed.

In hindsight, I should have waited a bit longer before starting. My oldest son (21 yo) had just got out of the psychiatric hospital. My husband came back from an overseas deployment because of this. I was accepted at that point and had to start within days, so I did.

I earned three As and a B this past semester. I can handle the book work. I didn't love it, but I can do it. My problem is the heavy responsibility of nursing . Life and death, in my hands. It's so heavy. I dreaded clinicals and ended up hating every second of them. To think that this is just light practice is sobering. I honestly don't know if I can handle this. I don't think I can.

Here is my problem though: If not nursing, what?? I put all my eggs in one basket and have no plan B. If I'm going to quit, now is the time, but I have no clue what career I'd pursue. I've only been a sahm. I know want to continue my education...I mean I used to enjoy school before nursing school. I just don't know what to do. My 17 yo son is going to start college in a little over a year. I NEED to have a career that can pay for it. I got married as a teen, so there is no college fund. Not to mention my weak marriage. I may have to provide for myself one day.

Thoughts? Ideas? Any and all help is greatly appreciated.

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Hi,

I would like to start out by saying how proud you should be of yourself. With all that you been through is a testimony for what type of woman you are; strong and resilient. I think if you give up on your dream, it would really hurt you since it is your dream. I do also feel with your personal experience, you are a natural caregiver. You have the life experience to get people through similar things. You CAN do it. Your family would benefit from it in so many ways as well.

Kadeem

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Specializes in L&D, infusion, urology.

I think the realities that hit in the first semester happen to A LOT of people, especially if they haven't worked in acute health care before. However, once you're able to swallow that pill a bit, you may be able to shake off the fear it's currently instilling and focus on your original reasons for doing this. Those reasons will shift a bit as you get more and more familiar with the scope of nursing practice, and that's okay. Even having been in health care for several years, I didn't totally grasp what all nurses really did and knew until I started nursing school, and it was like, "OH HOLY CRAP." It's overwhelming!

Then there's the reality that life doesn't stop just because you're in nursing school. I can relate. I almost got divorced (VERY common story among nursing students, BTW), my son had some behavioral issues (and now has a psych diagnosis), we had major health problems with family, my grandfather died... Let's see... Yeah, for some reason, life really chooses to dump on us when we're already maxed out. Is it possible that everything else is wearing you down and making your feel this way about nursing school? Like it's all just too much responsibility, because you (legitimately) have SO much on your plate already?

You said you should have waited, but, like starting a family, there's really no "perfect" time. You just make it work.

What kind of nursing do you want to get into? Have you looked that far out? You don't have to get into med/surg nursing, remember.

Have you spoken with classmates to see if they feel any of what you feel? Sometimes just knowing others feel the same way can be reassuring. I would have to guess that nearly all of us felt like it was too much and too much responsibility at some point. I have classmates who cried on the way to clinicals every time. But we all made it to the end, except for one.

Nursing IS a huge responsibility. It's not all sunshine and rainbows and holding babies and holding hands. But for the right person, it's INCREDIBLY rewarding. Only you can determine if you're that person. It doesn't have to be a calling. For some it is, for some it's not, and either one is okay. Take some time for some introspection, write out your thoughts (do it privately so you can be brutally honest with yourself), and see what comes out. Sometimes it helps me to do a free write, where I literally just write whatever enters my head, whether or not it makes sense or is related to what I wrote in the sentence prior. It just gets all of that stuff out of my head and onto paper, and I can sort it out later.

Best wishes whatever you decide to do! I hope you can move forward with confidence, in whichever direction you head!

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Well, you have what it takes to get in and make it. I can't tell you what is right for you, no one can. That is a question that you have to answer for yourself. If you decide that this is not for you, then consider any of the medical specialties. Many of them pay well and do not have the level of responsibility that nursing does. There are the various radiation technicians, medical technologists, physical therapist assistant, occupational therapists, speech therapists, respiratory therapists just to name a few. I wish you the best on your journey.

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As a person who put myself through school the first time and in not the best of circumstances I think I get where you coming from. Clearly, you have all of your basics out of the way, so now it's deciding on the track and getting out as quick as possible without wasting time or money. Could you see yourself teaching, working as a social worker? Getting a biology degree? I would not pursue nursing just because you got in and made good grades. You are old enough to know what you like and don't like. We can hate nursing school, but see through clinicals we will enjoy the work one day. Best of luck to you in your journey.

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Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. I will consider them all.

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Specializes in orthopedic/trauma, Informatics, diabetes.

Nursing school is tough. Get through it and then you can look for a job in a less stressful setting. I work on an ortho unit. We rarely have an RRT and in almost 2 years, never a code while I have been on. I have desire for ED or L&D. Just get through it. I suffer from some anxiety and I had younger kids-elementary age in my 40s-one with special needs. You can do it.

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So here're my thoughts...

1) The "life-and-death" concerns get easier over time... partly due to increased knowledge and experience and partly due to the recognition that it's fairly uncommon to be a "seconds-to-minutes" emergency where your failure might injure somebody. It does happen in certain fields but it's not typical.

2) So you don't love it... even hate parts of it... go back to why you're doing this... you say that the pay is just a nice bonus but then go on to describe how much you need the pay... kid going to college, possible divorce... medical costs for psychiatric care... believe me, as a 50-year-old, money counts and it counts A LOT!

Straight up, you're not going to find a better paying job with better job security with as low a barrier to entry as nursing.

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Specializes in Emergency.

Don't quit!!! Like you mentioned, in some cases life and death will be in your hands but you will have a team around you. Nursing school has to be hard and miserable for this reason. Many, many people consider quitting or do quit during their first semester. Did you have previous experience with patients before beginning the program? Many people find it to be an easier transtition into the clinicals if they've already been exposed to the crazy setting (and patients lol) and know a little more what to expect. If you didn't have that, use clinical to get all your fear and anxiety and hesitation out. You won't come out of nursing school fully prepared and will be scared to death but it WILL wear off. You have enough, you do enough, you are enough and you don't need to be perfect, you can handle clinicals. Getting into school is half the battle sometimes so think very hard on this. Like someone above said, get through it and you can get into a setting you enjoy more. You're very intelligent to be pulling those grades off in nursing school, don't let YOU psych yourself out. Now with that said, if you're truly miserable and can't see yourself in this setting AT ALL now that you've started, there's no use spending time and money. I think people have an idea of what nursing is and find out it's not picture perfect (not saying that was you) but if it's not close enough to what you wanted out of it and you don't want to deal with the BS, there's something else out there for you. It IS very stable and good pay and has room for growth to other areas. But like another person mentioned, if you really don't like the pace of nursing and don't think you'd find a setting you'd enjoy, there are other things like occupational therapy assistant. It involves creativity to help people figure out how to live their lives with independence and functionality again and it's slower paced than nursing and probably more time spent with the patient if thats what you prefer. You won't get away from being scared during the clinicals because you simply don't know what you're doing yet but it's a little less invasive. Best of luck to you, you're in a delicate position but you WILL make the best choice for yourself and have faith in that.

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Specializes in Prior military RN/current ICU RN..

you may quit or not quit. That is your decision. You could look at other medical careers. There is cytotechnology. I know a few and they work days and look in a microscope and make as much as me. I will add I don't know a single person who really "loved" nursing school. I thought it was a pain, but that is the point. If it was easy everyone would do it. If you hate it then you have to make the best decision for yourself. I don't tell people to quit or not quit. It is a decision and people make them every day.

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

Don't give up yet. Yep, short and sweet, but I think others have eloquently expressed what I would have. Honestly, it was touch and go for me until I knew I would have to pay my loans back whether I graduated or not. I can't tell you how glad I am that I didn't let my fears, anxieties and myriad discomforts rule the day. Best wishes to you!

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Specializes in Emergency Department.

Don't give up quite yet. While some of what you'll do involves life/death issues for you, it's NOT very common at all. While there can be a LOT of responsibility within Nursing, throughout your program, you'll be slowly introduced to it and not have it all dropped on you all at once. It's doable. When it gets tough, remember that Nursing is doable. Whether or not you can integrate those demands into the rest of your life is up to you.

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