Seaghdha

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. I will consider them all.

I registered today to get some insight and guidance. LONG story short. I am a 40 yo who married as a teen, had 4 children, but finally made it back to school. I always dreamed of being a nurse. I imagined a career of caring for others would be fulfilling and worthwhile. The fact that nursing pays well was a nice bonus. SO, after a few years of working toward getting into to nursing school I finally made it! I started a competitive BSN program in Jan . Problem is, I hate it. Now before I go on, let me just say that I do have anxiety (GAD and panic) AND family issues. Two of my four kids have mental heath issues and this takes a HUGE emotional toll. Not only that, but my husband and I are having major marriage problems after 22+ years of marriage. So yeah, I'm stressed. In hindsight, I should have waited a bit longer before starting. My oldest son (21 yo) had just got out of the psychiatric hospital. My husband came back from an overseas deployment because of this. I was accepted at that point and had to start within days, so I did. I earned three As and a B this past semester. I can handle the book work. I didn't love it, but I can do it. My problem is the heavy responsibility of nursing . Life and death, in my hands. It's so heavy. I dreaded clinicals and ended up hating every second of them. To think that this is just light practice is sobering. I honestly don't know if I can handle this. I don't think I can. Here is my problem though: If not nursing, what?? I put all my eggs in one basket and have no plan B. If I'm going to quit, now is the time, but I have no clue what career I'd pursue. I've only been a sahm. I know want to continue my education...I mean I used to enjoy school before nursing school. I just don't know what to do. My 17 yo son is going to start college in a little over a year. I NEED to have a career that can pay for it. I got married as a teen, so there is no college fund. Not to mention my weak marriage. I may have to provide for myself one day. Thoughts? Ideas? Any and all help is greatly appreciated.