I need encouragement or i may quit school - page 2

Ok im am very upset with myself to the point of feeling i should drop out of nursing school. Although my grades are great, i have had a difficult time with my clinical instructor (i wrote about him... Read More

  1. by   nj1grlcrus
    Do you want to be a nurse, or do you want this guy to name you student of the year? I think you want to be a nurse, and you are well on your way. C+=nurse, I am only saying this because i have found that all the nursing students I know are such high acheivers and nursing school isn't a straight A kind of place. You want to learn, you want to pass, and you want to be a nurse. And you are doing all that, so be PROUD of yourself
    PS I also beat myself up for that kind of stuff, but i am gettting better
  2. by   Psqrd
    Quote from nj1grlcrus
    Do you want to be a nurse, or do you want this guy to name you student of the year? I think you want to be a nurse, and you are well on your way. C+=nurse, I am only saying this because i have found that all the nursing students I know are such high acheivers and nursing school isn't a straight A kind of place. You want to learn, you want to pass, and you want to be a nurse. And you are doing all that, so be PROUD of yourself
    PS I also beat myself up for that kind of stuff, but i am gettting better
    I totally agree with the above post...As I am a student nurse going into my 3rd semester of my ADN program I understand how when you put your heart and soul into something, that something like this can put you on a low. This CI is one person and you should not base whether or not to be a nurse on this one CI.
    Afterthought, you could always ask that your eval be re-done, whats the worst thing he can say "No"...
  3. by   Daytonite
    Quote from sn bbgrl
    ok im am very upset with myself to the point of feeling i should drop out of nursing school. although my grades are great, i have had a difficult time with my clinical instructor (i wrote about him previously). in short, this man teaches through humiliation and intimidation. i didnt think i could bear with him, but i did stick out the semester. well, until the last day when he gave us back our clinical evaluations. granted, i made a big error because i incorrectly closed an unused syringe - my bad, i will accept the blame. however, he did this same little "test" on my entire clinical class of 10 people, and 7 of the 10 closed this same syringe incorrectly as i did. the problem? he chose to put this on my evaluation in the "safety" threads and say that because of this, i "minimally" fulfill the expectations. i felt absolutely horrible. as i said, i earned this but the catch is, out of the 7 of us who did this wrong, i was the only one who had it brought out on her clinical eval and i now fear that my future clinical instructors will judge me incompetent. anyway, i needed to vent because i really feel terrible right now and i feel like i will never redeem myself. any thoughts, suggestions, words of encouragement? i would really love the support. thanks all!!!

    b
    well, i can guarantee you're not going to like my thoughts. no one ever does because i think like a manager, but here goes. first the good.

    you passed, so you move on to the next semester. feel horrible today. make a plan on how you're not going to make this same mistake again. move on. that's the only thing that's important here. this is not the end of the world. the end of the world is more like when you get failed out of the nursing program, get fired from your job, or worse, get reported to the state board of nursing for not practicing as your license says you should. even worse is going doing something that resulted in hurting a patient or going to jail for deliberately injuring or killing someone. incorrectly closing an unused syringe? you're going to laugh about this years from now after you've dodged even worse bullets.

    however, i'm more concerned about someone who went out of their way to find out that "out of the 7 of us who did this wrong, i was the only one who had it brought out on her clinical eval". that took a lot of energy and investigation to discover. what is the motivation for going around to seven other people to question them about this? i get that you feel hurt by it, but to take it to that level has a flavor of rebellion, insubordination and retaliation to it. what gets put on a person's evaluation is confidential information. if you want to share your indiscretions with the rest of the world--fine. perhaps you don't realize how these actions make you appear to others, but it is very much like a child who has been disciplined and is acting out about it in front of the other kids. you're not a child anymore. but, to dig around and attempt to elicit information about what went on other people's evaluations is pretty intrusive and goes way beyond childish acting out. i wouldn't have admitted to anyone who was asking that i had received this kind of ding on my evaluation. it's none of their business. so, it has to make me suspicious that some of your fellow seven students were even honest about admitting the truth to you during this little investigation of yours. i've had to deal with problem employees who did this very kind of thing following an unsatisfactory evaluation or a disciplinary meeting as a manager. and, that's what they are--a problem employee with a huge authority problem. and, they were back in the office to answer for this behavior because it undermines the esprit de corps of the group. it's quite possible that your instructors have already determined that about you. if i were the instructor and i became aware a student was going around and questioning all the other students about what had been written on their evaluations, that student would be in much more serious trouble than failing to close a syringe. you need to think about that. you better hope than none of the other students went to the instructor and narc'd on you about your inquiries into their evaluations because it was very, very unprofessional and you had no right to do that.
  4. by   Heloisea3
    i now fear that my future clinical instructors will judge me incompetent
    I am not starting nursing school until this fall, but I taught school before deciding to become a nurse. Here are my thoughts on this. Any teacher who has been teaching more than a year will tell you that what one teacher thinks about you doesn't really influence their attitude towards you. I once taught a student that my husband had taught the year before. For some reason, he drove my husband crazy, and my husband said that he was the worst student he had ever had. The next year, I had the same kid, and he was one of my best students. I really liked him a lot. The same kid barely passed my husband's class, but he made an A in mine. Every teacher views students differently, and every student reacts differently to every teacher. There are just too many elements involved in regards to personalities, how the student views the teacher and class etc. for them to put labels or targets on particular students. That is just the way it is. Personalities can compliment each other or clash. This is true in all aspects of life.
    Secondly, I agree that your clinical instructor did not see you as incompetent. This would have been far worse than indicating that you barely meet standards. You should take this the same way that you take any type of criticism. Always consider the source and the criticism itself. If something applies to you, and you can learn from it, then accept the criticism as something that will only make you a better person. If it does not apply to you, let if go in one ear and out the other. Also, don't ever compare your evaluations with those of other people. The only thing that accomplishes is to show you that life is not fair. Yes, it sucks, but that is the way life goes. You will drive yourself crazy doing that. There will always be differences between the way students, coworkers, peers, etc. are treated.
    Ok im am very upset with myself to the point of feeling i should drop out of nursing school
    Don't ever let the actions of someone else determine the course of your life. What will this prove? You can't change your life and quit every single time someone says something negative about you. It will only make your life more miserable down the road and you won't accomplish anything. Be glad that you are finished with this class and put it behind you. As my dad says, "20 years from now, it won't make a difference." You will be nursing and enjoying your life while he is still knocking folks down. I know this is discouraging, but just pick yourself up and go on. Enjoy the rest of your time in school. Good luck with the rest of your classes.
  5. by   allthingsbright
    To be fair to the OP, my clinical group talked in pre-conference, post-conference, and off the floor about skills we were learning, mistakes we were making, etc. I can definitively say that we all knew each others business, as it were. Even after evaluations I had clasmates who shared with me what was on their evaluation--word for word sometimes! AND I have been asked over and over about my own grades, etc, etc. People in nursing school are NOSEY! And I am sure that doesnt change out in the real world of nursing.

    To the OP, hang in there. Don't play the comparison game and really think about why you are in school--to be a nurse. Do what you need to do to get there! Crappy instructors come and go--learn what you can and move on.
    Last edit by allthingsbright on May 24, '07
  6. by   MySimplePlan
    Don't let ONE person stand in the way of your goal. Why would you give him that power? Don't you dare quit.
  7. by   cardsRN
    DO NOT QUIT. nursing school is such a bummer. really. we all stressed out big time, i know i made my life hell trying to get everything just so... but try as hard as you can to let some of the obsessive stuff go and JUST MAKE IT THROUGH. learn. pass. study. get your license. you will look back on this when you are a practicing nurse and laugh. promise.
  8. by   SN bbgrl
    Dear Daytonite - i appreciate your input, but let me clarify - i did NOT go and ask everybody what they got on their evals, nor did i mention what i got on mine. This information was shared in our carpool (i kept my mouth shut because i did not want anybody to know). I also want to point out that this instructor has bad-mouthed other students to me - which again, i have kept confidential. Also, the instructor spoke about his "test" and who passed and did not pass at post conference, so we all know who did what.
  9. by   Natkat
    Hey, be glad you passed. I understand that you feel bad, but why throw away your future because of a bully? You'll run into more like this once you are a nurse, so learn from the experience and move on.

    Congratulations on passing!
  10. by   pengoo2008
    My 1st semester CI was not very encouraging and neither were the nurses on the floor where we were. I felt very discouraged and seriously thought about quitting. Fast-forward to 2nd semester and my CI was a dream, the nurses on the floor were very eager to work with us (as was the rest of the staff) and I am starting an internship this week!!
    I had the exact same experience as this. I was so discouraged by my first experience in the hospital, but the next semester everything went RIGHT instead of WRONG.

    You are competent, you passed. Granted incorrectly closing a syringe is a mistake, but it isn't a fatal error! Everyone makes mistakes, especially students like us. You just have to do your best and be vigilant, even so you are still going to make mistakes, everyone does.

    I think your CI is just a bored bully who has forgotten that he was once a student too.
  11. by   newlife30
    I understand where you are comming from. My first semester was a dream, wonderful clinical teacher, however, this semester, the teacher is " challenging". However, the group that I'm assigned to is the same from last semester and we developed a bond. So we help each other out, watch each other backs and if we see one of us is getting 'testy" with our new teacher, we have cues, slaps, diversions to diffuse the situation. I agree with most of the posters, you passed and ironically enough, you will never make that mistake again, because you will always remember this experience. Don't quit, but remember this, your clinical teachers are just a handful of the different personalites that you will encounter when you start working in the field. You are fortunate, you may not have him next semester, but can you imagine working in an environment where a charge nurse may not like you, it may not be that easy to walk away! So be proud how you handle it, you survived, so I guess it made you a little stronger.....good luck!
  12. by   success1
    SUCCESS= 10% Inspiration 90% Perspiration
    Keep your head up you can do it!
  13. by   Daytonite
    Quote from SN bbgrl
    Dear Daytonite - i appreciate your input, but let me clarify - i did NOT go and ask everybody what they got on their evals, nor did i mention what i got on mine. This information was shared in our carpool (i kept my mouth shut because i did not want anybody to know). I also want to point out that this instructor has bad-mouthed other students to me - which again, i have kept confidential. Also, the instructor spoke about his "test" and who passed and did not pass at post conference, so we all know who did what.
    The term is over. You passed, right? Enjoy your time off and get ready for the next term. If you feel this instructor needs to be reported to his supervisor, then report him.

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