I cannot stop thinking about nursing...

  1. I was accepted into nursing school for the fall 2006. I was so excited to start. After one month I dropped out stating that it wasn't for me. I am now thinking I made the wrong decision since nursing is all that I think about. Maybe I did not give it enough time since I had never had any patient contact until then.

    I will be finishing up my bachelors in Sociology this spring and fall and after I graduate I may reapply to the school (not sure if they would take me again). This bachelor's degree has been hanging over my head since 1991 (when I started) so I need to get that done.

    Sorry for my ramblings.
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  2. 13 Comments

  3. by   laura11
    hi, I was one of those who advised you to think it over before dropping out. Like you, I had second thoughts after I started and began doubting myself. I was always apprehensive about clinicals, but every week it became easier.I have almost finished my ist semester, God willing and things do not seem as bad as I thought, besides I put in a lot of effort and stress to get in and keep up. Why don' t you try and see if you will be accepted back. You never know. Good luck
  4. by   Kmd317
    Hi, I just want to let you know that I did the same thing at around the same time as you. I read posts often but I don't comment often. I remember reading your posts about wanting to drop. I dropped to after one month. I thought I didn't like nursing but I think now I may have been so nervous about clinicals that I chickened out. I have been kicking myself ever since. My husband knows this and I kind of got an I told you so. He doesn't understand. I was doing fine and passing everything but just freaked. I am debating whether to reapply. But I told my family that I didn't like it because I didn't wan't to hear it. If I reapply and get accepted they will really think I lost it. Oh well! It is nice to know I'm not alone.

    kmd
  5. by   future L&Dnurse
    I also posted in your other thread, and I'm sorry to hear that you are now regretting the decision you made. I hope that you are able to find a solution you feel good about.
  6. by   nurse2btracy
    Thanks - I hope everything works out for the best.
  7. by   jemommyRN
    I know exactly how you feel. I dropped out in my second semester. Three weeks after I dropped out, I was trying to get re-enrolled. Well....it took me two years to get back into school (and still be in the second semester). I often think about woulda shoulda couldas, and I see my old study partners (now ICU RNs getting ready to apply to anesthesia school) often. I'm just glad God pitied me enough to give me a second chance. If I were you, I would get back in. I understand how you feel about not finishing what you started.
  8. by   Lovely_RN
    When you say that you cannot stop thinking about nursing, what is it that you are thinking about specifically?

    What is it about nursing that appeals to you?

    Do you think that you could get over your aversion to touching patients? This is a very real issue because you WILL be touching patients during clinical and during the early years of your nursing career. After that you may be able to go into some sort of administrative position but there is no way to get through NS w/o having to touch people and deal with "gross" situations.

    Let me give you two examples of what I had to deal with during clinicals.

    I was in the ER and the filthiest homeless person I have ever seen was brought in. He was dead drunk and smelled to high heaven. He was combative and before we could do anything with him he hopped off the stretcher defecated and urinated on himself. I along with a tech and one of my fellow classmates had to strip him down right in the ER and wash him before putting a gown on him and getting him back onto the stretcher. There was poop everywhere and when I pulled his jeans down (which were filled with nasty poop) he decided that was the perfect time to urinate on the floor. All the while he was pooping and peeing on everything he was also having ETOH induced hallucinations and was howling and baying at goodness knows what. We also had to work fast because he had been given ativan and haloperidol so he was due to pass out shortly.

    Another fun time was when I got to dress a stinky foot that had pus draining out of the second toe. The nurse was like "How are you going to assess the drainage when you are holding that foot so far away? You gotta get close" she says as she milks it and pus oozes out.

    Those are only two of my experiences as a NS during clinicals. There are also poop, poop, and more poop stories (I will spare you the lower GI bleed poop story).

    I have also worked as a CNA and I cannot tell you the things that I have had to see or deal with working in the hospital and LTC. I think I have seen and dealt with just about every nasty thing that the human body can throw at a person.

    Maybe you want to work in health care but maybe nursing is not for you.

    There are other jobs in health care that are just as important as nursing (I know this is blasphemy) and some of them don't require dealing with as much touching and dealing with gross things as nurses do.

    Please, no one flame me. I am happy to be a NS and I will be very proud to claim the title nurse once I graduate but lets be real...we deal with some nasty stuff everyday, it's a part of the job.
    Last edit by Lovely_RN on Nov 14, '07
  9. by   nurse2btracy
    Quote from Falon
    When you say that you cannot stop thinking about nursing, what is it that you are thinking about specifically?

    What is it about nursing that appeals to you?

    Do you think that you could get over your aversion to touching patients? This is a very real issue because you WILL be touching patients during clinical and during the early years of your nursing career. After that you may be able to go into some sort of administrative position but there is no way to get through NS w/o having to touch people and deal with "gross" situations.

    Let me give you two examples of what I had to deal with during clinicals.

    I was in the ER and the filthiest homeless person I have ever seen was brought in. He was dead drunk and smelled to high heaven. He was combative and before we could do anything with him he hopped off the stretcher defecated and urinated on himself. I along with a tech and one of my fellow classmates had to strip him down right in the ER and wash him before putting a gown on him and getting him back onto the stretcher. There was poop everywhere and when I pulled his jeans down (which were filled with nasty poop) he decided that was the perfect time to urinate on the floor. All the while he was pooping and peeing on everything he was also having ETOH induced hallucinations and was howling and baying at goodness knows what. We also had to work fast because he had been given ativan and haloperidol so he was due to pass out shortly.

    Another fun time was when I got to dress a stinky foot that had pus draining out of the second toe. The nurse was like "How are you going to assess the drainage when you are holding that foot so far away? You gotta get close" she says as she milks it and pus oozes out.

    Those are only two of my experiences as a NS during clinicals. There are also poop, poop, and more poop stories (I will spare you the lower GI bleed poop story).

    I have also worked as a CNA and I cannot tell you the things that I have had to see or deal with working in the hospital and LTC. I think I have seen and dealt with just about every nasty thing that the human body can throw at a person.

    Maybe you want to work in health care but maybe nursing is not for you.

    There are other jobs in health care that are just as important as nursing (I know this is blasphemy) and some of them don't require dealing with as much touching and dealing with gross things as nurses do.

    Please, no one flame me. I am happy to be a NS and I will be very proud to claim the title nurse once I graduate but lets be real...we deal with some nasty stuff everyday, it's a part of the job.
    I will be the first to say that in terms of school I have been very flakey. I keep on changing my mind on my major. Which is odd since I have been at the same job for 19 years. I have been thinking about becoming a nurse between 2 to 3 years. That is the longest amount of time that I have spent on any major.

    To overcome the touching issue I plan on volunteering at a hospital starting in the summer of 2008. I would start earlier but I am taking 5 classes in the spring (3 for my bachelors and 2 for nursing pre-reqs).

    I told my family that nursing is not for me but in reality I was just scared. I just hope BI will give me a second chance.
  10. by   Lovely_RN
    I think volunteering at a hospital is a really good idea.

    I don't want to discourage you from pursuing nursing school again if that is truly what you want. I understand where you are coming from in terms of being flaky about school. I am around your age and it took me a long time to graduate from college. I went to 4 different schools and changed majors three times. When I was finally close to graduating I realized that I was getting a degree that wasn't going to help me financially (what was i thinking?) and then I compounded my mistake by joining the NYC Teaching fellows. That was a HUGE mistake...I didn't last very long at all. I went from this job to that job...made attempts to go back to school but it was hard because I was on my own. It was only once I got married and had someone to help me out that I was finally able to go to NS and focus.

    I still have the problem of wanting to examine all possibilities but I realize that time is finite and that I have to make a choice. I cannot pursue every avenue if I want to actually finish anything. I am kind of ashamed that I have less than 5 years experience in every job that I have ever had and I am in my 30s. So in that regard you are better than me because you managed to stick out 19 years in the same career.

    I think you should take one day at a time and focus. Find out about re-applying to BI and if they say no way then try some other place.


    http://www.futurenurselich.org/

    http://www.touro.edu/shs/openhouseN.asp

    Again, I would examine my reasons for wanting to become a nurse. What is it about nursing that appeals to you?

    Quote from nurse2btracy
    I will be the first to say that in terms of school I have been very flakey. I keep on changing my mind on my major. Which is odd since I have been at the same job for 19 years. I have been thinking about becoming a nurse between 2 to 3 years. That is the longest amount of time that I have spent on any major.

    To overcome the touching issue I plan on volunteering at a hospital starting in the summer of 2008. I would start earlier but I am taking 5 classes in the spring (3 for my bachelors and 2 for nursing pre-reqs).

    I told my family that nursing is not for me but in reality I was just scared. I just hope BI will give me a second chance.
  11. by   jemommyRN
    It might be the challenge of nursing school that intrigues you. It might be the haunting thought of not finishing what you started. It might be that when you daydreamed about getting into nursing school, you imagined you life as a nurse and how it would open up so many doors for you. You've only been in school one month and WITHOUT patient contact. No, you didn't imagine it to be that hard or that much material, but you couldn't have possibly decided which capacity you want to work with patients in because you hadn't been exposed to anything yet. Just ask yourself, what would be different if you decided to go back. Keep in mind the same thing that pushed you away will still be there, you just have to determine if it's worth it.
  12. by   Satori77
    I understand where you are coming from. I am turning 30, and have changed my mind so many times when it comes to school and a major. I started out with Bio, then psych, then took a couple years off. Moved, and got an associates in veterinary technology. I thought I wanted to be a vet. Worked for awhile, then went back to school undecided (I considered art history and anthropology). I got pregnant and took some time off from work and school. I recently went back to work as a vet tech because I am not qualified for anything else. I have been thinking about what I want to do for the rest of my life....something I will enjoy, that is challenging, interesting, stable and I can support my family. And I keep going back to nursing. I haven't started yet, still need to take prereq's. We don't have a lot of money, but I am stalling. I know I am. I am scared. After all this time, I need to stop changing my mind, I know that. So even though I want it, I still have doubts about making that final committment. Take your time and really think about what you want and why you want it. Good luck with whatever you choose.
  13. by   nurse2btracy
    Thanks everyone for your responses. I am still continuing with my plan to finish my bachelors. Things are a little crazy this past week since we think that my mother had a mini-stroke and we are trying to find out the cause. Once we find out the cause I will be in a better state of mind to continue on my path.

    Thank you!
  14. by   caliotter3
    Remember reading your thread when you were deciding to quit and thinking to myself that you were making a mistake. It would be difficult to convince an admissions committee that you were immature because of your age. But you can admit that you made a mistake. If it is an obsession with you, then continue with your plan to finish your degree in sociology. That will be helpful in nursing and you will have reached a milestone. Then really think long and hard about your next step because it really will be difficult to get back into a program. Make a promise to yourself that you will stick it out the second time. If for no other reason, then because you can fall back on a nursing license for a job. You don't know what the future holds. You may need a nursing job. Meanwhile, get a CNA certificate and get some work experience or even try to get an LPN license and attack it from a different angle. You may not rest easy until you have completed both of your goals in life: a degree in sociology and a nursing license. There's nothing saying that you can't achieve both. Good luck.

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