Hard to focus when worried about $$

  1. I am not currently working so I can focus on school and the children. It is really hard for me to work anyway because my DH is a manager and has to pretty much be available 24/7. But our money is sooooooo tight, seems we are just getting further behind.

    I've been so depressed I am having a hard time studying. All I can keep thinking about is that if I were an RN already I could do an extra shift, make $300-400 and things would be cool. The next 19 months are going to be the longest of my life..I swear.

    My DH is wanting to move to a bigger city if things don't get better so he can get a better job, but then I'd have to quit school because we wouldn't have anyone to watch kids while I'm in school. I just can't quit school..I can't...I am too smart to go thru life broke! But how do I hang on while things are so tight while I'm in school?

    It's sooo hard to sacrifice short term for long term. I have to be awake in less than 5 hours for my clinical day and I can't even sleep I am so stressed out. So now I get to be sleepy at clinical/lab which just affects my mood even worse. I get severely irritable on less than 7 hours sleep.

    I wish I could just take out a big fat student loan to pay off bills. Unfortunately, I go to a small school that doesn't offer federal loans. I can't get private loans because I don't work and my DH has crappy credit.

    Right now I just can't see the forest for the trees
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  2. 10 Comments

  3. by   ZASHAGALKA
    something has to give.

    You have to find a part time job. Or you DH does.

    Or you have to change schools to one that offers federal loans.

    If you can't do this now, you won't be able to do this for months on end. I wish I could say buck up, but something has to give.

    Perhaps you can think up another way to raise money. Selling stuff on ebay, I don't know. But if you don't, perhaps moving to where your husband can make more and you can go to a school that accepts fed loans isn't something to be readily dismissed.

    Things happen for a reason - I believe that. There's a reason here - find it.

    What is worse? Starting over somewhere where you can finish what you start? Or only going halfway down this road and having to try to restart because you couldn't finish and have the class drops on your gpa?

    You have to have not just a plan, but a plan that lets you finish.

    It sounds like you have a perfect storm lined up against that. The questions now, are to examine why - and what to do about it.

    I'll keep you in my prayers.

    ~faith,
    Timothy.
  4. by   Mommy TeleRN
    Timothy..thanks for the straight talk..it helps to write because it helps me see my options. Sometimes people can see things you can't too ya know?

    The only thing with switching schools to one that offers federal loans is there IS no other school anywhere near my house. As it is I have over an hour commute. We could move to another area, but then I couldn't go to school because I would have no family to help with childcare. If we move my DH would work strictly days and I would be forced to be strictly SAHM.

    I hate living in the middle of nowhere... it will be an hour drive if I get a part time job each way. DH does NOT want me to get a job but I am not seeing any other way around it. I can't let us keep getting in deeper because that gets more expensive (late fees..bounced checks etc)

    It sucks I'm a 4.0 student but because I'm non traditional I can't find any extra financial aid. Why can't my inlaws live somewhere better?

    Maybe tomorrow things will feel more clear... I hate feeling this way because normally I'm a very upbeat person... but this has me stressed to my limit which isn't good for anyone.
  5. by   Tweety
    I'm sorry you're going through such a stressful time. Best of luck to you.
  6. by   sjb2005
    Quote from Mommy Nurse2b
    Timothy..thanks for the straight talk..it helps to write because it helps me see my options. Sometimes people can see things you can't too ya know?

    The only thing with switching schools to one that offers federal loans is there IS no other school anywhere near my house. As it is I have over an hour commute. We could move to another area, but then I couldn't go to school because I would have no family to help with childcare. If we move my DH would work strictly days and I would be forced to be strictly SAHM.

    I hate living in the middle of nowhere... it will be an hour drive if I get a part time job each way. DH does NOT want me to get a job but I am not seeing any other way around it. I can't let us keep getting in deeper because that gets more expensive (late fees..bounced checks etc)

    It sucks I'm a 4.0 student but because I'm non traditional I can't find any extra financial aid. Why can't my inlaws live somewhere better?

    Maybe tomorrow things will feel more clear... I hate feeling this way because normally I'm a very upbeat person... but this has me stressed to my limit which isn't good for anyone.
    What are your priorities? Is it your family , your DH or yourself. What sacrifices can you live with? Nursing is a heavy commitment, before, during and after school. Don't fool yourself into thinking your super woman/man. Make your decisions based on your priorities. You know what they are...Make your decision, commit to it and go full force. No looking back. I am all for being a Mommy first, loving wife next, then personnal satisfaction with a career. Although my 3 boys do not seem to have suffered without their mother's focus while I went to nursing school and did travel nursing to make ends meet while my husband was unemployed during their crucial developmental years, I missed those years and regret it. Nothing I can do to get those years back.
    We have one left. He will be 18 shortly and plans to move out to college. My husband and I are suffering from major empty nest syndrome. $$$$ain't everything. I wish I realized that sooner in life. Good luck.
  7. by   SandraJean
    :icon_hug: I know something about wanting to work/go back to school and having a family and husband that are kind of high maintenance. My hubby doesn't want me to go back to work, and as much as I feel I am kind of withering away from a lack of professional environment, it doesn't seem to matter. My kids are getting older, 17,15, and 11. I keep thinking about it, but haven't been able to really make that decision and get out there and apply for a job. Hubby's job always comes first. I'm not really complaining, my life has been good. I've been able to focus on the kids, but sometimes I feel my brain deserves more, you know what I mean? Anyway, I wish the best for you. I hope your dream can come true.
  8. by   Lisa CCU RN
    Quote from Mommy Nurse2b
    I am not currently working so I can focus on school and the children. It is really hard for me to work anyway because my DH is a manager and has to pretty much be available 24/7. But our money is sooooooo tight, seems we are just getting further behind.

    I've been so depressed I am having a hard time studying. All I can keep thinking about is that if I were an RN already I could do an extra shift, make $300-400 and things would be cool. The next 19 months are going to be the longest of my life..I swear.

    My DH is wanting to move to a bigger city if things don't get better so he can get a better job, but then I'd have to quit school because we wouldn't have anyone to watch kids while I'm in school. I just can't quit school..I can't...I am too smart to go thru life broke! But how do I hang on while things are so tight while I'm in school?


    It's sooo hard to sacrifice short term for long term. I have to be awake in less than 5 hours for my clinical day and I can't even sleep I am so stressed out. So now I get to be sleepy at clinical/lab which just affects my mood even worse. I get severely irritable on less than 7 hours sleep.

    I wish I could just take out a big fat student loan to pay off bills. Unfortunately, I go to a small school that doesn't offer federal loans. I can't get private loans because I don't work and my DH has crappy credit.

    Right now I just can't see the forest for the trees
    What state do you live in? Is your school private? Are there no scholarships you can apply for.With a 4.0, you should be able to get something. Go to fastweb.com and look up scholarships. There is always a way to do what you want to do. Is it possible to get your CNA and work baylor on the weekends only? I think if you have finished your first year of nursing school you can take the CNA test. Private message me. I am no expert, but I come up with really good plans for getting through tough times, especially money problems. I will be praying for you. Don't drop out of school at least try to make it through this semester.
  9. by   southern4eva
    Hi,
    My name is Renee.

    Have you thought about going to school at Excelsior College? It is a distance learning college where you study at your own pace then take the exam for the credit. It also accepts whatever credits you have and applies it towards the RN degree. The wesite address is www.excelsior.edu. There is a toll free number you can call and have someone answer your questions.

    Good luck whatever you decide.

    Renee

























































  10. by   adamsmom
    I have 2 young kids, a husband who works crazy hours and 2 part time jobs. Both my kids are in school, and I am just taking my pre reqs at a local college. But I work on the weekends 2 twelve hour shifts during the night and they pay my school. I do have to work for them after I graduate but at least I know I have a job and school is paid for.
    It is hard, my house is not spotless, my nerves do get very frazzeled. ANd we do live pay check to paycheck. But the bills are being paid, and things are going OK. I don't sleep much on the weekends and I do take naps somedays during the week but all is OK. I keep plugging through test by test class by class.
    Good luck with your decision.
  11. by   brwnngj
    I more or less wrote your post a few weeks ago. For me the only option was to take off school for a year. It was a really hard decision but I know in my heart for us it was the right one. my dh is a Truck driver and there is a possibility he will be going over the road soon. We have family support or anything. Anyway I am lucky I have 2 kids in school so depending on the hours of a job I would get I will hopefully need minimal child care for my daughter and even less or none for my boys.

    I am taking a 2 week class to get my CNA License and will hopefully be able to get a job working at the VA home and I am sure things will start looking up for us. Then I am set to begin the RN program in the Fall of 2006


    Good Luck and if you need to talk feel free to pm me
  12. by   SkanauxRN2009
    Quote from Mommy Nurse2b
    Timothy..thanks for the straight talk..it helps to write because it helps me see my options. Sometimes people can see things you can't too ya know?

    The only thing with switching schools to one that offers federal loans is there IS no other school anywhere near my house. As it is I have over an hour commute. We could move to another area, but then I couldn't go to school because I would have no family to help with childcare. If we move my DH would work strictly days and I would be forced to be strictly SAHM.

    I hate living in the middle of nowhere... it will be an hour drive if I get a part time job each way. DH does NOT want me to get a job but I am not seeing any other way around it. I can't let us keep getting in deeper because that gets more expensive (late fees..bounced checks etc)

    It sucks I'm a 4.0 student but because I'm non traditional I can't find any extra financial aid. Why can't my inlaws live somewhere better?

    Maybe tomorrow things will feel more clear... I hate feeling this way because normally I'm a very upbeat person... but this has me stressed to my limit which isn't good for anyone.
    I am also a non traditional student, 40 years old, two kids and husband. We live on a very small annual income. We accomadated school on a couple of different levels. I do not have anyone to really help with child care either, but it can be done. I commute 45 minutes to school every day. I go to class when children are in school. Some semesters I went in the evening and that worked out great also. I transferred to a university and got loans. We totally downsized our expenses and we don't go out much at all. It can be done, so don't give up. If your husband wants to move to a big city, I am sure you can find a school within the area. Just keep motivated. Don't worry about money so much. Think about the future. I used to worry all the time, all that got me was staying ill alot. When you stress and worry, your more prone to get sick. You can get by. Just hang in there.

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