Feeling Alone in Class

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I apologize in advance if this sounds like I am bragging about my grades. I definitely don't plan on it.

I'm in a small class doing the 1-yr ADN through a State College. We primarily have lecture online on an IVN network, clinicals are all done in person. I've found the coursework to be challenging, engaging, frustrating, but overall I've had a good go of it. (I'm sure my husband would strongly disagree.) My instructors have generally been pleased with my grades and progress and I was approached about tutoring the PN students, which I turned down because I'm still in class and didn't feel comfortable tutoring without real-world skill usage.

My problem is that my frustrations seem (to me at least) to be so superficial and pathetic to my classmates. At least three of them are in danger of failing out, and I am not sure but I think at least one more might also have a problem. I, on the other hand, am setting a (unreachable, I think!) goal of a 4.0 this semester (I had two my PN year). Because my classmates are struggling with being able to stay in the program, I don't talk about my grades at all anymore, and just listen when they need to vent about difficult test or the horrible paper we had. I want to vent that I am just .5% away from the A I so desperately want, or that if I get another B I won't be comfortable with myself anymore, or that I need that 3.5 to stay in Phi Theta Kappa.

Even my instructors seem to brush off my goal. One instructor told me cheerfully that C's make degrees, and after I stared at her thinking she was joking, I replied that it may be so, but they don't make mine. I emailed one instructor asking her nicely to please run a 'what-if' scenario so I could see if pulling off an A in her class was feasible with five weeks left, which she promptly ignored. I suppose, if you are counseling students that are failing, why waste valuable time with a silly thing like that.

I just wish I could talk to someone who has been there. Sure, I have friends that are overachievers like me, but none in the nursing programs, and truly, nursing school is a horse of another color. And breed. And planet.

I know it sounds so superficial and silly. I guess venting did help me gain a little persepctive. Still lonely though!

I don't think it's superficial or silly, you work hard for your grades!

Specializes in Hospitalist Medicine.

Not superficial or silly at all. I'm working very hard for my grades. Unlike some of my classmates, I plan on pursuing an advanced degree when I'm done with the BSN. My GPA is very important. The program I want to get into has an average accepted GPA of 3.6, which means I need to get as many 4.0 grades as possible.

I think there's nothing wrong with setting a high goal for yourself & working hard to achieve it. It can get difficult when everyone is complaining about how hard the last exam was, especially when they ask point-blank what my grade was. I usually just say I passed and leave it at that.

I never understand why people adopt an almost angry attitude if someone does well on an exam. Our first exam, I got a 98 and I was ecstatic! Another student overheard me telling a friend and she had such a sour attitude about it after that. Every exam, she makes snide comments that "I think I'm so smart". I've never once walked around bragging about my grades or have said I'm smarter than anyone else. It's almost as if you're looked down on for doing well.

Oh well, I'm not going to let other people dictate my happiness. I set a goal and I worked hard to achieve it. I have one more test to go this semester and I'm confident I can maintain the A I've worked so hard to achieve.

All you can do is focus on your own grades and not worry about anyone else :)

I think it's great. I had all A's in my pre-reqs. In anatomy and micro the teachers usually curved but I had high A's in those classes so I messed up the curve. Both teachers would post grades next to a code and each student had a code. I would hear my classmates talking trash about code ---- I never said anything just let them talk. They never assumed it was me. In my nursing classes well I did get a C in peds. But man I worked hard for that C. I had A and B's in the rest of the classes. Plus at the time I still considered going to medical school so I had to keep my GPA up.

When I went back for my BSN I received all A's in those classes too. Some people want to pass a class I was paying out of pocket so it was in my best interest to get a good grade.

I admit early on that I didn't really care what grade everyone else had. I worried about my own grades. Selfish maybe but I went to school to learn and that's exactly what I did.

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Specializes in Pain, critical care, administration, med.

It's a wonderful goal and glad you are working hard. Just remember it takes more than good grades to be a good nurse. Patients want knowledgeable but they want someone who is genuine, caring, empathetic,etc. that you can't study for.

Specializes in Hematology/Oncology.
I think it's great. I had all A's in my pre-reqs. In anatomy and micro the teachers usually curved but I had high A's in those classes so I messed up the curve. Both teachers would post grades next to a code and each student had a code. I would hear my classmates talking trash about code ---- I never said anything just let them talk. They never assumed it was me. In my nursing classes well I did get a C in peds. But man I worked hard for that C. I had A and B's in the rest of the classes. Plus at the time I still considered going to medical school so I had to keep my GPA up.

When I went back for my BSN I received all A's in those classes too. Some people want to pass a class I was paying out of pocket so it was in my best interest to get a good grade.

I admit early on that I didn't really care what grade everyone else had. I worried about my own grades. Selfish maybe but I went to school to learn and that's exactly what I did.

Sent from my iPhone using allnurses.com

I talked to someone about that.

"Remember when we used to make A's?"

8 days til graduation.

Specializes in ICU / Urgent Care.
It's a wonderful goal and glad you are working hard. Just remember it takes more than good grades to be a good nurse. Patients want knowledgeable but they want someone who is genuine caring, empathetic,etc. that you can't study for.[/quote']

Takes good grades to advance and go to grad school, especially a good one. No one is contemplating the ability to be a good nurse, we are talking grades. And cheers OP valiant goal stick to it and let nothing come between you and that A

For 3 semesters I have been there. It's really hard to complain to people about the little bit you need to keep your A when they are struggling just to pass.

I got in the habit of telling my grades to just the couple of people who I know are pulling for me no matter what their grades are, they know my grades are a personal goal and not something I use to feel superior to anyone else.

Now I have decided that if you ask me, I will tell you. Sorry if you can't be truly happy for me, but I am truly happy for anyone who does well and achieves what they are trying for. I see no reason to let myself feel badly about doing well.

OP - congrats on kicking butt on your exams! You worked for it - so enjoy it!

Specializes in Trauma, Teaching.

You should be able to calculate what you need for an A yourself; I don't think the instructor is ignoring you spitefully, but we tend to have huge loads of things to do (you write one lab sheet, I grade 30). Calculating where you are isn't really a priority to her as much as it is to you.

Does your syllabus tell you how much weight is put on various papers and projects? If so, add the points and see what percentage of any remaining stuff you will need. If there is much in the way of subjective grading, she may not want to respond with either false hope or lead you to think she has promised something that she can't.

As far as the one who told you C=degree, well she is technically correct but any of my students barely pulling Cs I worry about. She may (repeat may) have been trying to gently let you know you might be obsessing too much about the grade and not the content.

On the other hand, congrats on your good grades! I appreciate my students who are busting it and working hard!!

Thanks to all who gave me encouragement and assured me I wasn't the only one setting my sights a little higher than the tired C's make degrees stuff. Its nice to hear I'm not alone after all!

I've decided to take the advice of just stating I passed. The girls and I like to gossip a bit about the test ("Wow, #X was crazy. I had to read it three times to even make it out...") and sure, we ask about passing. Mostly so we can support the ones who didn't do so hot.

As far as my ability to be a good bedside nurse "despite" my high grades, I assure you my clinical instructor has told me a few times that the clients have enjoyed my care, and my mentor nurses have gone as far as noting in my site review that I am an empathetic nurse who will be a wonderful asset to the floor I walk onto.

Lastly, I would like to address a bit of JBudd's post.

"You should be able to calculate what you need for an A yourself; I don't think the instructor is ignoring you spitefully, but we tend to have huge loads of things to do (you write one lab sheet, I grade 30). Calculating where you are isn't really a priority to her as much as it is to you. "

See, this to me is just sad. Why am I low priority? Do I not pay as much as my classmates to be here? To have her services? I am not allowed to have her guidance because I have the good fortune and strength to do well? Honestly. I can't run the grades myself because the grade simulator is instructor-use only and she weights her class items so wonky I can't make hide nor hair of it. I'm asking what it would take for an A. Not for a rundown of every grade she's given me. She's done these what-if scenarios for other students. This is a prime example of what I was irritated about in the first place!

" She may (repeat may) have been trying to gently let you know you might be obsessing too much about the grade and not the content."

'May' indeed. I haven't given up showering and cavorting about in public to achieve my grades, so I don't think that is it.

As far as grades not mattering on the floor, I can honestly say I have used college grades, specifically core major grades, to help decide between two graduates we were hiring when I was on a Policy Council. When two candidates had the same general qualifications, their grades were often the tie breaker, because we believed good grades often indicated discipline, drive, and passion, which were greatly welcomed into the position. If it comes down to me and another new graduate, I would hope the committee feels the same.

Specializes in Geriatrics.

I don't have a 4.0 (close though!) and when I hear someone mention their grade and it's higher than mine I congratulate them because I know they worked hard for that grade. Sometimes I ask them to help me so I can get that grade. I do hear snide remarks about people having better grades but I figure those people are jealous and feel the need to be nasty in order to make themselves feel better rather than being happy for them. Most of the ones not doing great don't even try, which is their own fault.

There's nothing wrong in taking pride for your good grades. You should be proud. Ignore those that make you feel bad for it because most likely they are jealous.

I know what you are saying! I try to stick to "I passed" or "I did better/worse than I hoped." I told someone recently that I wasn't doing so well in one of my classes. I even told her my grades. Her response: "Seriously? But it's so easy!" Wow, thanks for the encouragement. I guess I won't make that mistake again.

All of my syllabi include grade breakdowns so I know exactly what each test and assignment is worth. I keep an Excel sheet so I can just plug in my grades through the semester. There are various websites and apps that will calculate averages as well. I once had a teacher in prereqs say, "If you email me asking for your average, I will send you a formula. It's simple algebra, people!" But if you don't have the breakdown than that's a different story.

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