Dealing with "haters"...

  1. 0 Hi everyone! I have a bit of a story...

    I went to a family BBQ today to celebrate the 4th, and my cousin decided to take the liberty upon herself to tell me that she doesn't think I'm capable of completing nursing school, that it's too hard for me, and that I should consider other options. This happened out of nowhere. My uncle asked how I was doing in school, and she just jumped in with her negativity.

    I have my days where I really doubt myself, I think things like "Will I be a good nurse?" "Do I have what it takes?" but at the end of the day, I am sure of what I want to do. For me, nursing is my calling, not just a career I picked out of a hat. I would be lying if I said I was not extremely hurt and offended by what she said today. The most bizarre part of all of this is that we aren't close, and we never speak about my academics or school, in fact, we don't really talk much at all. Her comment was truly out of left field.

    The point of my post is, has anyone else been in a similar situation? How did you handle the haters and the naysayers?
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  3. Visit  mmcc26 profile page

    About mmcc26

    From 'NJ, USA'; Joined May '13; Posts: 78; Likes: 51.

    56 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  RRWilson,RN2 profile page
    I had family members that were unhappy for me in nursing school. Assumed I had all this money and I was just in nursing, but now that I've been a RN, BSN for a year they are even more envious. My brand new 2013 car doesn't ease their feelings, oh well. I pray for them and continue to love them from a distance. I worry about what I can control.
    sealford, CaraJ, mmcc26, and 9 others like this.
  5. Visit  kp1987 profile page
    I had a similar situation and honestly it motivated me to prove them wrong! So go prove the meanie wrong! You can do anything you put your mind and heart in to!
    Emilyktee, mmcc26, priorities2, and 9 others like this.
  6. Visit  springchick1 profile page
    I had a lady sit me down when I started learning to scrub in the OR and her exact words were, "I told them that hiring you was a mistake and that you would never cut it as a scrub tech." I determined then and there to prove her wrong and I have! I always get excellent evaluations and I train new scrub techs.

    Use the hurtful statements as motivation. I think a lot of us (me included) have doubts at times and wonder if we are going to make it. I think that is normal. But you want this. Fight for it and prover her wrong! Good luck to you
    sealford, mmcc26, priorities2, and 4 others like this.
  7. Visit  futuresctRN profile page
    Um.. Yes. During my pre-nursing year (Jr year BSN student now) the people in my "study group" used to give me weird looks because sometimes I would try to make light of our stressful situations, laugh a little and joke(Not in an immature way though) I could tell that they looked at me like, "wow, there's no way she'll get into this program" lol. Even my "best friend" at the time told me to consider applying to other nursing schools because "only the best" got into the one i was trying to get into.

    Annnnd guess what? I got in, first try . Only one other person in our study group did! Not only that, but I passed my first year of nursing school. Why? I decided to prove them wrong. I used it as fuel. You should too! Let them hate. They're just trying to make themselves feel better and calm their own insecurities. Really. This is YOUR calling, career and your LIFE. Give it all you've got! Don't you dare let anyone's negativity stand in your way or put doubt in your mind. You can do anything you set your mind to, if you're determined enough! I believe in you
    sealford, CaraJ, mmcc26, and 5 others like this.
  8. Visit  mmcc26 profile page
    Thanks so much for all of your replies and good for all of you for pushing through and proving people wrong. I really needed the pick me up from people who are going through the same things I am. I love this website!

    It really baffles me, because she's a lawyer, she's accomplished, I can't understand what her reasoning would be to want someone else to fail. I can guarantee that when she was in my shoes, as a college student, no one ever said to her "this is too hard, you can't do this". It's ugly, and its sad that it came from a family member.
    priorities2, antania31, somedaypeds, and 2 others like this.
  9. Visit  futuresctRN profile page
    Maybe because she likes being the "smart successful one" in the family and she feels like you'll take that title from her if you finish nursing school? Just a thought.
    babsy28, sealford, mmcc26, and 12 others like this.
  10. Visit  mmcc26 profile page
    Actually, that's exactly what my mother said. She's also 15 years older than me and in my opinion that makes her being competitive even more ridiculous and petty.
    somedaypeds, MBARNBSN, SE_BSN_RN, and 2 others like this.
  11. Visit  merdogan618 profile page
    Quote from RRWilson,RN2
    My brand new 2013 car doesn't ease their feelings, oh well. I pray for them and continue to love them from a distance. I worry about what I can control.
    LOL .)
    CaraJ, mmcc26, and SE_BSN_RN like this.
  12. Visit  MJH3483 profile page
    What exactly does your cousin do that makes her the "end all, be all" of determining if you have what it takes? I personally have had nothing by support from everyone after leaving the corporate world in Manhattan. It wasn't always easy and there was much adversity but I graduated from one of the nation's top nursing program. Personally, I have seen students at my school get ripped by the dean saying that they don't have what it takes and they should consider social work. Some girls used the hate as motivation, others went onto something else, and others switched nursing programs. Personally, I agree with everyone. If this is something you want, you will do it and make your cousin eat her words.
    sealford, mmcc26, Irish_Mist, and 2 others like this.
  13. Visit  DisneyNurseGal profile page
    Quote from mmcc26
    How did you handle the haters and the naysayers?

    Success is the best revenge.
    mmcc26, priorities2, i♥words, and 8 others like this.
  14. Visit  Mewsin profile page
    I ignore them. It isn't my family but some of the people I work with. There are 3 girls from my facility in nursing school together, I have heard the other 2 being discussed in front of me so I know they are talking about me also, just when I'm not around. One girl told me that I didn't sound very confident going in to the class and maybe I should give up my spot. I told her that it wasn't that I didn't think I could graduate I just want to graduate with distinction.

    At our first set of clinicals there were some people with ruffled feathers.

    I do not care what they think or what they say, I am going to be a freaking amazing nurse. I've decided so it will happen.
    sealford, mmcc26, and gummi bear like this.
  15. Visit  Red35 profile page
    I feel your sucks when your own family members don't support you...

    Maybe she is jealous because she wants to be the only "successful" one in the family. I know it hurts but don't let one person change your path-prove her wrong...and make sure you go out of your way to thank her for her motivational words when you graduate-
    mmcc26 and mandilee428 like this.

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