Body Image...

  1. I hope I can post this here, I can't get into the break room...

    I am having the worst time!

    My warped body image issues have gotten so bad that I can't even shop for clothes anymore. I think NOTHING looks good on me, like I look like a joke in everything! I take about 50 things into the dressing room and leave 50 things inside the dressing room when I leave. I have no freaking clue how clothes are supposed to fit me because I have lived in rags/tents for the last year and a half. I look like complete hell.....my clothes, my hair, my no-makeup face. The only thing I DON'T think I look absolutely ridiculous in is either workout clothes (which I feel fat in anyway) or my birthday suit! Yes, I actually feel better about myself totally naked!!! Some would think that was great, I suppose, but I need to wear clothes!!

    This is becoming a real issue with me, because now I would like to look nicer, take more effort in my appearance, but I feel like I don't know how to do it anymore, like I am hopeless.

    I think I need Stacey and Clinton to come barging into my house from "What Not To Wear". How do I get help for this so I can get me some new clothes and ACTUALLY WEAR them?? The few times I have talked myself into buying something I thought I looked ridiculous in in the dressing room, I have brought it home and it never was worn a second time. I keep reaching for the same stained T-shirts and the same five pairs of cotton shorts that I have owned for 10 years.


    To make it worse, I just came back from "Interview" clothes shopping and want to curl into the fetal position and cry. I am short, thick, and have big boobs. Seems IMPOSSIBLE to find a nice pantsuit to fit and look right. Fitting issues aside, I don't even KNOW how these things are supposed to look!!! I would take my sister with me but that scares me too cuz she hasn't been employed in a decade!!!


    Where do you guys get your fashion advice/know how if you are not innately creative?? I don't know how to put an outfit together to save my soul. That is why I can't shop in places like TJ Maxx cuz you have to "do it all yourself". I like the mall, with the manequin completely dressed. I say, "I'll take THAT". And then it cost a million cazillion dollars.

    Someone help!!! How do you buy clothes if you feel stupid in EVERYTHING!! Not just fat, but frumpy or thick or not petite enough or legs too squatty..there is always something!!!

    Can anyone relate???

    HELP!!!
    Janice
    •  
  2. 20 Comments

  3. by   sirI
    Hello, thrashej,

    I have the saleslady assist me at times. Look in fashion mags and such to get ideas.

    BTW, you must be Premium member to utilize the Break Room.......
  4. by   prmenrs
    I wear "mom clothes" (tee/henley/polo shirt and cotton pants) or scrubs 99.5% of the time.

    I have one, maybe two "good outfits". Fortunately, I rarely go anywhere that someone would criticise [I cannot spell today, sorry] me for my wardrobe. I bought the last "good" outfit in June, and it's too big. (I know, isn't that sad) I need a new "good" outfit for next Sunday night. I guess I have to go shopping again.

    Take your measurements. Look in a catalog, and find your size. And try and find something you like. If you're short, get petite pants. Penney's is a good place to start. If you get an idea of what you want, and time is short, go there w/picture and ask if they have it. If there's adequate time, order it.

    If you're in the larger size range, some good places to look (start online, save gas) besides Penney's: Catherines, Silhouette, Lane Bryant, Regalia/Old Pueblo Trading Co.

    Of course, you could always email Stacy and Clinton. You never know!
  5. by   Achoo!
    I watch What not to Wear! LOL
    seriously. I am short and have hips (I have had 2 kids) so the clothes that fit my waist don't fit my thighs( I am not a teenager, I have curves!!). I have learned by watching that show that mid or low rise, straight leg pants work good for me. Also the whole layering thing. I wear boots instead of tennies because it makes me look taller and leaner. I accentuate what I do have (I show my neckline not my chest LOL) and feel comfortable with. My BMI is 20 and I still am conscious about how I look in clothes. Pick up some magaizines, there are great tips on how to dress you shape. Good luck!
  6. by   MIA-RN1
    I am sorry you are having such a rough time.
    I know it sounds trite but remember that you are not what you look like, you are who you are inside. Lots of us have body image issues, myself included! You're not alone! The way I deal with it is to tell myself that people will like me for who I am, not what I look like.
    I have ZERO fashion sense. (I have been known to show up at my neighbor's house at 7:30 am to ask if my clothes match). I rely very heavily on salespeople. You don't have to buy off the mannequin. You pick a couple things you like and then ask the salesperson to help you put it together.
    Have you shopped in a petite-size specialty shop? Maybe you want to invest in one nice expensive suit at one of those pricey, high-end places. Costs a lot but you KNOW you will be well put-together.
    As for the old clothes, I reach for 'em too. I don't know what to say about that. I have a couple old tie-dyes that would make great rags but I just keep throwing them on to run to the store. I made myself get rid of several old, ratty clothes. Then I just had no choice but to get new stuff.
    Maybe you can take up walking? It sounds corny but when I get with the program and start walking daily, I feel really good about myself. Endorphins, I think.
    I am sorry that I can't offer much more to you.
  7. by   cardiacRN2006
    Well, I can recommend NOT shopping at Target-their clothes are designed for size zero people. I freak out every time I go there. I am so vocal about why those darn sippers are 1inch long! I hate going there!!! I feel so fat and ugly when I go there. But darn it, they do have a lot of other things I need. My DH will not let me go near it anymore. For goodness sakes I am not a large girl but that's what they make me feel like.

    Try Old navy out. They have a lot of mannaquins that are fully dressed (I do the same thing-look at them and think, OK, that works). Kohls is another good place.

    Did you say you lived in a tent? Aren't you in AZ?
  8. by   elizabells
    Try a pinstripe skirt suit - skirt just above the knees, jacket WELL tailored - maybe w/ princess seams.
  9. by   kellyo
    I know that the label "Kaspar" or "Kaspar ASL" makes very nice suits for interviews. Stylish and not too expensive. We have an outlet near where I live. I believe they are sold in dept. stores. I always did well in Casual Corner...



    Quote from thrashej
    I hope I can post this here, I can't get into the break room...

    I am having the worst time!

    My warped body image issues have gotten so bad that I can't even shop for clothes anymore. I think NOTHING looks good on me, like I look like a joke in everything! I take about 50 things into the dressing room and leave 50 things inside the dressing room when I leave. I have no freaking clue how clothes are supposed to fit me because I have lived in rags/tents for the last year and a half. I look like complete hell.....my clothes, my hair, my no-makeup face. The only thing I DON'T think I look absolutely ridiculous in is either workout clothes (which I feel fat in anyway) or my birthday suit! Yes, I actually feel better about myself totally naked!!! Some would think that was great, I suppose, but I need to wear clothes!!

    This is becoming a real issue with me, because now I would like to look nicer, take more effort in my appearance, but I feel like I don't know how to do it anymore, like I am hopeless.

    I think I need Stacey and Clinton to come barging into my house from "What Not To Wear". How do I get help for this so I can get me some new clothes and ACTUALLY WEAR them?? The few times I have talked myself into buying something I thought I looked ridiculous in in the dressing room, I have brought it home and it never was worn a second time. I keep reaching for the same stained T-shirts and the same five pairs of cotton shorts that I have owned for 10 years.


    To make it worse, I just came back from "Interview" clothes shopping and want to curl into the fetal position and cry. I am short, thick, and have big boobs. Seems IMPOSSIBLE to find a nice pantsuit to fit and look right. Fitting issues aside, I don't even KNOW how these things are supposed to look!!! I would take my sister with me but that scares me too cuz she hasn't been employed in a decade!!!


    Where do you guys get your fashion advice/know how if you are not innately creative?? I don't know how to put an outfit together to save my soul. That is why I can't shop in places like TJ Maxx cuz you have to "do it all yourself". I like the mall, with the manequin completely dressed. I say, "I'll take THAT". And then it cost a million cazillion dollars.

    Someone help!!! How do you buy clothes if you feel stupid in EVERYTHING!! Not just fat, but frumpy or thick or not petite enough or legs too squatty..there is always something!!!

    Can anyone relate???

    HELP!!!
    Janice
  10. by   Curious1alwys
    Quote from cardiacRN2006
    Did you say you lived in a tent? Aren't you in AZ?



    OMG, ROTFL..........I meant "tent" as in an oversized piece of clothing!!!

    Nah, really.........I live in a tee-pee...:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
  11. by   cardiacRN2006
    Quote from thrashej


    OMG, ROTFL..........I meant "tent" as in an oversized piece of clothing!!!

    Nah, really.........I live in a tee-pee...:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
    Whew! :uhoh21: I was getting a little worried there!!
  12. by   suzanne4
    Target actually has a nice selection of larger size clothing............the most important thing is for you to get clothes that actually fit you and do not hang like a tent. Try going to a Lane Bryant store in your area, they have them in Arizona and have a sales person work with you there to find your proper size..

    Let us know how things work out for you.
  13. by   DenaInWyo
    Another fairly trite thing to think about:

    When you are out in public, or taking care of patients, do you spend all your time looking at them and analyzing how they look in their clothes? Can you remember what any of your coworkers wore a couple of days ago? We all spend waaaaaaay more time thinking about what WE look like rather than what others look like (and even then it's mostly analyzing how they look good/better than us). So..while you're stewing over how you look dorky and thinking everyone in the world is staring at you..they're not. They're too busy thinking about how THEY look at the moment.

    Is there anyone besides your sister you can trust to shop with you and give you honest opinions on how things look? It really helps to have another's opinion, so long as you know they arent going to say it looks good when it doesn't.

    Believe me, I know just how you feel when you're trying on clothes and feel like you have to be the ugliest bodied person in the world. You have to step back and quit being so hard on yourself. There are very few of us in this world that are so freakishly different that we attract much attention. And there are still more of those types of people than there are supermodels.

    I know I'm rambling on here, but just one more thing. When you find an outfit you'd like to try..get about 4 different sizes of it to try on and see what you feel best in. I am amazed at how clothing sizes vary from brand to brand, so just because you are a size 14 in one shop doesn't mean you won't be a size 12 or 16 in another. What I've noticed is that generally, the more expensive the label, the larger the size actually is. I can wear a size 12 jeans in Tommy Hilfiger, but have to buy a 16 at Walmart.

    Deana
  14. by   missninaRN
    Buying clothes to fit a larger bustline is very difficult. I too often end up with clothes that are too big at the shoulder just to accomodate my chest.
    Since you need interview clothes, I reccommend a pant suit. But buy seperates. (I always need one size larger in my slacks than I do in my jackets). I have learned through trial and error and far too much time reading fashion magazines that it is possible to find clothes that flatter. It does take a lot of trying on, though.
    Refuse to buy something that you do not feel good in. If it does not flatter, you will not wear it, no matter how good of a bargain. It is worth it to pay a little more for one good suit, and then wear it with different tops and as seperates, than to buy two cheap ones that do not flatter you. One good suit will last you for years as well.
    Buy the jacket to fit your shoulders. Trust me on this one. You can wear a jacket unbuttoned to accomodate your bust, but a too big jacket that hangs off of the shoulders will just look sloppy. Choose a jacket in a good neutral color like black, navy, charcoal or chocolate, just make sure it's a color that flatters your skintone. Avoid a trendy color, you want this investment to last. You might consider a very fine pin-stripe in the jacket to lengthen your torso, but avoid large or wide stripes and all plaids. Avoid stiff fabrics-look for a lightweight wool or high quality synthetic fiber (or wool blend) in crepe, lightweight twill or gabardine. (Good salespeople will know these fabrics) The jacket should nip in at the waist. Look for seaming details on the front and back like darts or princess seams that will help create a narrow waist. Do not buy a boxy jacket, and avoid double breasted styles or ones with any kind of applique, emboridery, or big flashy buttons. Think Jacki O, not Crystal from Dynasty (am I showing my age?). Do not buy a jacket that is too long on your body. It should cover your bottom when you look at it from the back, but should not hang much longer than that. The sleeves should hit just below your wrist, but not down onto your hands. Get it hemmed if it's too long. Your bust should match up with the bust area of the jacket. Wear it unbuttoned if necessary to accommodate your bust-sometimes I wear a three button jacket with only the middle button done, it still nips in my waist but gives my bust and hips the room they need.
    Wear your jacket over over a colored shirt or blouse. Avoid button front shirts and blouses, they will gape at the bust. A nice solid v-neck is the most flattering and will elongate your look and draw attention to your face, just make sure that it is not too low-cut to maintain your professional appearance. Avoid fussy details and stiff fabrics which will accentuate your bust. Make sure the blouse or shirt is fitted and has seaming details like darts too. It will lay under the jacket better, reduce bulk, and fit you better when worn alone. Another option is a nice top (v-neck of course), in a fine guage (not bulky!) knit. Select a color that you love to wear for your interview top. There are just certain colors that make your look your best, and this will boost your confidence. Avoid tucking in the top if you can help it. If the hemline falls to an inch or so below the waist but does not extend past the hem of the jacket, you can wear it untucked. (Tucking the top into the waistband and/or adding a belt is okay while you are wearing the jacket, though I avoid the belt to decrease bulk at my waist. If you take off the jacket, however, that tucked in shirt makes a horizontal line right at the waistline that will cut you in half).
    For the pants, do not buy narrow or tapered legs. These will emphasize the fuller places on your body. Look for a pant with a straight or slightly flared leg. (very hip). They are much more flattering, and create a nice line that visually lengthens your leg. Choose a solid color pant to match the jacket, again avoid stiff and bulky fabrics. Avoid pleated pants. They will make your stomach more prominent. Choose a pant with a flat front for a clean, less bulky look. I would avoid a skirt, since the hemline placement can be tricky, and it adds another horizontal line. However, if you do buy one, make sure it is a solid, dark color to match the jacket, with an A-line, made of fabric that is not bulky or stiff, and that the hemline is right below your kneecap.
    A heel will add height, but avoid a super high heel. Try for something around 1 1/2" to 2" max for a professional setting. Choose a dark shoe that has a pointed toe, it will add more visual length and look classier than a chunky or rounded toe with your suit. The hem of the pants should come down to the bottom of your heel in back (not the shoe's heel, but the heel of your foot) and should break over the front of your foot. The pants should not be so long that the front of your shoes do not show, nor should they be so short that all of the top of your foot is exposed.
    Your handbag does not have to match your shoes, but should be complimentary, dark in color, and simple.
    Choose simple accessories. Less is best.

    Hope you find a suit that makes you feel like a million bucks and that you will feel confident and sure of yourself when you interview!
    Last edit by missninaRN on Sep 15, '05

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